Since being diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer in April 2018, getting through Chemo, a mastectomy and now finally finishing Radiotherapy, I’ve always tried to keep a smile on my face and remain positive, which for the best part I have done… apart from those days when you just want to cry, when you just want to stop hurting, when you don’t want to get out of bed, when you can’t talk or reply to a message, when you dread going for your next chemo knowing what side effects you’ll have, when you can’t eat because your mouth is so sore, when you lose all taste, when you can’t sleep, when you look in the mirror and feel like an old woman is looking back at you, when your eyes water constantly they become sore, when your nails start peeling off, when your hands are so sore it’s painful to wash them, when climbing the stairs feels like climbing a mountain, when you’re nervous on the day of surgery, when your body no longer looks or feels the same and then some! When all the medical side is done and you think you should be saying ‘I’m fine now’ when you’re not really as the tablets you now take make your hands and feet hurt so much, when the tiredness still kicks you hard when you think you can push yourself just that little bit more and when your skin is still sore and feels burnt from the radiotherapy.
From the last day of chemo to now, yeyee, hair, eyebrows and eyelashes all growing and I’ve got my face back. Cancer doesn’t feel like a journey it just feels like wading through crap every day.
But despite all of this, I’ve got through it and so here’s to 2019, when I hope to start healing and start living again, love life, it’s precious ??