I have recently been diagnosed with primary bc and reading all the postings, I find it really scary seeing how many of you are coping with secondary bc. I realise that most people on this site have either primary or secondary bc and that is why they are using it but it would be lovely to hear of people who had bc years ago and have had no recurrence.
I am so depressed that the inevitable will happen. Sorry if I sound blunt. I don’t mean to offend anyone.
Ann
Hi Ann
I am so sorry you have this c*** diagnosis. I am a year down the line from diagnosis having had WLE, MX, Recon, chemo and now on Tamoxifen - just had the one year checks. Right from the point where I realised it was not just a quick WLE and then it was over with I too have struggled - wondering is anyone ever “cured”? The truth is we do not know. There are certainly statistics which seem to prove that lots of people do live at least 5 or 10 years after diagnosis,is that is your definition of a cure. But there are no guarantees - and that is the depressing bit until you get used to it, which oddly most of us do.
I am guessing that on here it is a little distorted - we are on here because we are still going “through it”. I was told by the BCN that women who have come out the other side are too busy living thier lives to be posting on forums…
The truth is no one knows what is going to happen and it is pointless trying to work it out based on everyone else’s experience - you don’t know what other health conditions they have etc. All you can do is keep yourself as well as you can emotionally and physically through treatment.
Some things help most people - sharing on here is really good - everyone has those sort of thoughts but many of our nearest and dearest hate it if you express them. Getting treatment tips, talking to other patients, making cyber friends - all these can support you through the months ahead.
Another thing that may be helpful is a link to a series of articles on the cancercounselling trust website - someone may know the link. The articles by Peter Harvey made me feel like I was normal in an abnormal situation and that helped me feel grounded.
All the bvery best of luck to you
Love
Jane x
Thanks, Jane
Yes, I do realise that the ones not currently affected are getting on with their lives and no longer need this emotional support. I was just wondering if people knew other women who were getting on with their lives post bc and had been for many years.
My view is distorted because my mother was diagnosed at 76, by which time it had spread to her bones and she died at age 80, so I don’t really have personal experience of survivors, other than a friend who is currently clear after 4 years. I am 55 and statistics telling me I shall probably live for a further 5 years are not encouraging!
Ann xx
hi ann
i so wanted to ask this too lol
it is so scary isnt it
this is what i cant get my head round
so i go through a yr or so of pretty crap treatment,to hope i get another 5 yrs??
not a good long term prospect to look forward to at the end of treatment
and is it worth it
Dear all,
I was diagnosed with two grade 3 tumours in 2003 after a year’s delay in diagnosis. I have had no recurrence.
Who knows what the future will hold but so far so good.
Best wishes,
Sue
Hi Ann,none of us know what the future holds we just have to hope we fall on the right side.When I was first diagnosed (September 07)I was in a terrible state desperatly seeking survivor stories looking for someone to tell me everything was going to be ok but of cause no-one could.I dont know how but we do find a way of dealing with it.I lost my mum to b.c 30 years ago.I also know two women where I live who have had b.c. one had 3cm grade3 8 years ago and another who had it 6 years ago.I also work with a lady who had it 6 years ago and and my cousin had grade3 9 years ago and all so far have had no recurrences.But like I said we just dont know what lies ahead just have to hope.
best wishes Mel xx
Dear Ann, I have 2 friends that had breast cancer 13 years ago and 15 years ago and are still going healthy and strong. I think this site can give a false impression as a lot of ladies get on with their lives and don’t feel the need to post.
best wishes
Leadie
Hi Ann
Thanks for voicing what has been in my head since I was dx in Jan.When I said to a bcn that I was more or less resigned to the fact that it would come back one day,she was quite cross & said that 8 out of 10 caught early enough were fine after treatment.
I’m gonna take more convincing & I wonder if our views are somewhat distorted from reading all the postings on this forum.I’m not a pessimist but it does hang over me.
Hopefully as time passes we’ll all feel more positive & believe that we have a future.
Little Hxx
Little H - ‘Early enough’ is easy to say, but we won’t know that until later, will we?
I agree that this site would give a biased view and that is why I asked the question. When first diagnosed, you are told it is ‘treatable’, but is that just for now? I am normally an optimistic person but my optimism before each appointment has turned out to be unfounded.
It all happens so quickly, from one day thinking you are a healthy person, leading a normal life, then suddenly becoming a patient, and then presumably, during treatment, an invalid for a time, with a very uncertain future.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to be depressing. I must be having one of those days. It doesn’t do to think too much but it is really hard not to especially at the beginning, I am finding.
Good luck to you.
Ann xx
When I was told, the first thing the nurse asked me was whether I knew any women who had had breast cancer and whether they had survived. As it happened, I knew about five women and they have all survived for more than five years and (more to the point) have not had any recurrence. (The nurse then gave me the 8/10 statistic.) In fact, afterwards, I had to search around to find someone who hadn’t survived (was in a gloomy frame of mind) and did eventually remember of a flatmate’s mother who had died. I think pessimism is a natural response but nearly two years on, am nearly always convinced that I’ll be all right in the long run.
There are many different types of breast cancer though, some more treatable than others, unfortunately.
It is a natural thought. I do know several women who are with us 10 & 17 years after dx. I don’t think that they did catch mine early (two tumours and evidence in lymph nodes) but I believe that I will be one of the ‘long stayers’. So I keep extra vigilent and healthy.
all the best
Wizz
hello guys
sorry but I did have a recurrence, however, what I would say is that I got to a point where I felt the only thing I could do was live well (ie have a blast, play as hard as I work etc). I have done that and have had 12 cracking years, despite the stresses that come with life - losing parents etc. Although bc has come back, I’m fitter now at 50 than I was at 38, I’m also having more fun. My big fear was that bc came back and I had been unhappy in the interim, and that just hasn’t happened.
I know this is maybe not what you were looking for, but you can have a good life, whether it comes back or not.
I’m looking forward to getting my treatment out of the way and starting on a new path - not sure what yet, but the ‘play’ bit will be even bigger than the ‘work’ bit this time! There are no guarantees, but I’ll give it a go…
best wishes - hope each of you are one of the people who are too busy to be on here in a little while
Monica xxx
help i am new to this site i was dx last july had wle and then they went back in to get clearer margins had radiotherapy and on tamoxifen had an infection on centre of scar tissue just after radiotherapy fininshed this was checked and came back clear just had my first mammo and was called back in because calcium deposit has shown right at the scar tissue had biopsys done on monday and await results next wed i am terrified i feel i am living in auto pilot i am scared about the next step
Hi Cracker,
sorry you are having such a scary time - its so hard, waiting for results isn’t it?
I hope that you get good results but in the meantime you’ll find this forum a fabulous source of support
wishing you well
Monica x
Hi Ann
Just thought I would let you know that I job share with a fantastic lady who had BC 13 years ago (aged 45) and is still cancer free. I was diagnosed last September and have had 3xWLE, chemo, rads and now on Herceptin and Tamoxifen. I have to say that having worked with Katrina for the last 9 years it gave me the “Katrina did it so can I” attitude. Having compared notes, thankfully chemo and treatment have come a long way in the last 10 years.
I hope, like me, you manage to sail through treatment. The BC nurse is so right - people move on and that is why they are not posting here. To be honest I rarely post but thought I should try and reassure you.
Just take each step of treatment at a time.
Sue x
Hi Ann
Ive not been on the forums lately cos i too am trying to move on and live my life .I was DX with BC july 07, IDC grade 3, had WLE, 8 x Chemo, 23 Rads and now on Tamoxifen.
I think one of the worst things about haveing BC is the fear of reacurrance and i expect most off us find the emotional impact it has on us is far worse than the treatments itself.
Since my DX ive spent many a night unable to sleep thinking about the “what ifs”, but ive now come to the conclusion that life is for liveing and im not gonna waste my life worrying about what might or might not happen as none of us knows our futures not even those without cancer.
When i was haveing chemo i remember feeling pretty low and angry at what life had dealt me but that same night my sons best friend left home at teatime on his moped and didnt come back, he was killed outright in an car accident, he was just 17, i think at that point i suddenly realised that you dont have to have cancer to have your life snatched away and it made me realise that i was the lucky one i may have cancer but i was still here when he wasnt .
Like everyone says the forums can give a false impression because people post when they are going through DX ,treatments and sometimes sadly reoccurances so we dont ofen hear of long term BC survivors because they are liveing their lives and have no need to post.
On a positive note i work as a carer and have looked after 2 ladies who have had breast cancer 25 and 30 yrs ago both had mastectomys and both have never had a reocurrance and they are now both in their eighties.
I also look after a guy who was DX with NH Lymphoma when he was 26 he is now 45 and although still haveing treatments is doing well even though he was given a very poor prognosis at DX.
Good luck with all your treatments . try and just take one step at a time i know youll find lots of support and advise on these forums, you will get through this.
All the best
Lindiloo x
Thank you all for taking the time to reassure us. As you all know, we have ups and downs and sometimes it is possible to look on the bright side and sometimes it just isn’t.
Any reassurance is very gratefully received by the newbies.
Ann xx