Hi. My mum is getting quite frail now - she has metastatic breast cancer in most parts of her body and is awaiting a brain scan - which I’m sure will confirm our fears (as she’s dizzy and tired all the time now). My mum is a tough cookie and always passes off her symptoms but I’m really worried at how quickly she’s declined in just the past 2 weeks. How can I get extra help sorted or in the pipe line if she’s still so defiant? I know she’ll need oxygen soon as she is short of breath and her body is no longer coping with the chemo ( fingers are splitting open and soles of her feet bright red ) yet still she’s fighting it which I truly admire but I really think I need to start putting small things in place to help her. I do all the practice things around the house etc but I really think I should be planning ahead but don’t know where to start. Do Macmillan nurses come to the home on the request of the family or should it be the patient that requests it ?
just scared and wish I could do more but a little confused as to how to go about it x
Hi Sue
so sorry to hear about your Mum and how difficult that must be for you as you are caring for her.
I think you best bet is to speak to Macmillan or possibly one of the nurses on here? (I’m not sure about what experience the nurses on here have of end of life care but they might point you in the right direction) The other place to contact is your local hospice who will know all about end of life care. I’m sorry I can’t be any more help as I don’t know anything about what to expect and how you can help your Mum other than what I’ve read occasionally. You may not get many responses because although there is an end of life section here it doesn’t seem to be used too much and also the latest posts section which appears at the bottom of the screen in the secondaries section only shows the last 3 posts and therefore your post might slip off that page relatively quickly.
I hope someone else comes along and is able to give you more detailed information about where to get help
Nicky x
Hi Sue,
my name is Ann.
i am currently at stage 4 and am in a hospice for respite care. You need to set the ball rolling as soon as you can. First thing is get a referral to MacMillan from your oncology department. They will ask what requirements you have I.e. do it through a hospice, or through the hospital, or does she want to pass away at home?
secondly think about what your needs are. Can you do all the caring if you want her at home? It takes an inordinate amount of effort to look after someone who is dying, especially with personal needs. Can you cope emotionally? It’s really hard.
I dont know how long I’ve got but I’ve been battling this since February 2019.
get help, everyone needs some. X