Hi, has anyone got any advice on how to keep the niggling thoughts coming at you constantly.
I haven’t slept through a night and im anxious about trying to get back to normal.
I was diagnosed with early stage BC in Feb, it was a complete surprise but was assured that it was very early and not a BAD cancer! So i basically thought of myself as a cancer tourist.
After surgery they found it was a slightly larger tumor and was in one lympnod and spread beyond the lymph node capsule into the surrounding tissues [ENT], so chemotherapy was put on the table as an option for treatment. So now this shit just got real! Im no longer a tourist.
The 1st oncologist i saw was very arrogant and basically told me how my treatment was going to go and that chemotherapy wasnt necessary and even if i wanted it she would refuse as i was postmenopausal.
I decided i wasn’t comfortable with that oncologist and so got a 2nd opinion. This time she was brilliant and put the decision back in my hands, giving me the options to consider. I decided to have a OncotypeDX test to give me extra reassurance about the risk of reoccurrence and need for chemotherapy.
Thank goodness it came back with the risk of recurrence in the next 5yrs being low and chemotherapy wouldn’t benefit me.
Im now booked to start my radiation and from there endocrine therapy and adjuvant bisphosphonates infusions.
However Im stuck on the fact that the oncotype dx was only a score for 5yrs and that the cancer cells had escaped my lympnod. There is no test offered to see if cells have travelled anywhere, basically the hormone therapy will hopefully block any cells. Feeling like its fingers crossed!
Hello @rach1
I can very much relate to how you are feeling, my cancer was caught early, thankfully no lymph node spread and chemotherapy was never a possibility for me. I did have radiotherapy and I’m now part way through my 5 year hormone therapy
I like your description of a cancer tourist: it’s very easy to tell yourself “it could be worse” “others have it tougher” “why am I making such a fuss” however what I soon learned (after walking off a huge emotional cliff!) is that how you feel and how you react bears no correlation to the size of your tumour or your treatment plan and your feelings are 100% valid
Personally, I found talking to others who are either going through or have gone through treatment for breast cancer helped me hugely. I went to a Maggie’s centre and joined their group and it was also around the time I joined the forums and I found them so helpful in understanding how I was feeling.
You are still considered to be in active treatment as you are still waiting for radiotherapy. Part way through my RT course I had a meeting with a lovely nurse to see how I was getting on particularly emotionally. You often hear about it being like a rollercoaster, there some highs but also some lows: “staying positive” helps but please don’t think that means you have to do this all the time, please allow yourself to get angry or sad, these too are very valid emotions
It’s tough and you shouldn’t underestimate the impact it has on your mental health, but there is so much support available for anyone and everyone who is impacted by a breast cancer diagnosis don’t be afraid to reach out
Sending you lots of love
AM xxx
Hi @rach1
Like you, and I’m sure everyone here, I would love someone to guarantee me that cancer is never coming back. Sadly that isn’t possible and to a certain degree it is a case of “fingers crossed”. But, there are things we can do to stack the odds in our favour.
My approach to staying positive is to focus on the things that are in my control. I can take my medication daily without fail, I can not drink alcohol, I can maintain a healthy weight and I can exercise. By sticking to these I feel I am doing everything possible to try and prevent a recurrence, but I do accept there are no guarantees. If it does then it is simply down to bad luck but at least I can say to myself I tried.
I love running and other exercise. I’ve booked loads of races over the next few months which give me things to aim for in the future. Training for these alongside work and family leaves little time for worrying. Googling risks and statistics has been taken over by Googling my next pair of running shoes! I’m not sure how to explain this properly, but there’s also something about doing these things because I can when there were times when I thought I would not be able to, a kind of two fingers up to cancer.
Is there something you love to do? Maybe a personal goal you have? Could be anything, but something to focus on other than cancer as that can really help to move forward in a positive way.
Best of luck with everything. x