how to tell my child

Can any one help how do i tell my 3 1/2 year daughter that i have to go into hospital to have an operation and i can not pick her up or play with like i do now. thanks paula

Hi Paula,

Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums, you’ve come to the right place for some good support.

I was going to put you the link to our publication ‘Mummy’s Lump’, a book especially produced to make it easy to explain to younger children what is happening. Unfortunately there’s a slight problem with the website so I can’t give you the link, but if you would like to give the helpline here a ring they will arrange for one of these booklets to be posted out to you free of charge, you will also have the chance to chat to one of our helpliners about what is happening to you which I hope you will find helpful. Calls to the helpline are free, 0808 800 6000, lines open Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2.

Take care,
Jo, Facilitator

My oldest was just under 3 - and we just told him that I had to go to hospital for the doctors to do an operation to fix me and take the bad lump away.

When I came home I showed him my plasters and later showed him the scar, and he understood that was mummies ‘poorly’ and that was why I couldn’t pick him up at all. He was VERY good and VERY understanding - I didn’t really have any major issues with it. I also had a 12 mth old and that was harder because of the lifting as she couldn’t walk then.

Mummies Lump is a good book - a bit old for mine - but should be quite good for a 3.5 year old. I did use it to explain the chemo and radio parts though.

My children surprised me by taking everything in their strides really. Better than I did really!!