If you work in hospitality please consider if you can take four weeks off sick. Had a masectomy and lymph node clearance on one side 18 days ago. Doing the physio but had to have the post op seroma drained twice by the BCNs, managing todo a fair bit but still being careful with any excess weight carrying.
Scar across my chest is okay the bit where it goes under my arm still sore and still very sensitive. Keep getting very upset at unexpected things even though l am glad to wave the unasked for lodger goodbye. This morning it was seeing other woman who still had two breasts to my one. Wearing any kind of prothesis is not possible due to scar being sensitive as it forms.
The physicality of carrying, being on your feet and all at work in hospitality (worked in kitchens and served front of house part time) is stressful. A masectomy can leave you super sensitive emotionally to idiotic public comments. Provided you can afford it ask your GP for a longer note for work. Expect the first two weeks to be sore, stiff and limited in movement.use the next few following days to build up some strength. Talk with your manager about making reasonable adjustments post surgery for your planned return to work. Ask about having chance to sit down and rest and not be expected to carry your usual loaded trays.
As for your kids, tell them in an age appropriate way about the surgery you will have. Ask them for their ideas of what they could do to help you and their dad. Kids can sometimes surprise us. Might be useful to show them you have special plasters on the ouch put there by the surgeon to help make it better. Seeing a big plaster is something most kids will understand covers an area that has a hurt.
For example the eldest might be able to help the youngest get dressed for school. The youngest might be able to pour cereal in a bowl and ‘make’ everyone breakfast. Let them know you would still love cuddles but could it be on the sofa on your happy side whilst your stitches and ouch heal up. Ask them to help you count your physio excercises and let them remind you to do them. Make a game of washing with you supervising if they are of an age to still need it. Throw washing over the bannister and pick up in small amounts on your good arm to put in the washing machine. ditto move one handed in small amounts into a drier. If you hang washing outside allow others to help you OR ask a responsible child for their help with pegging till you get your reach back.TBH most kids will be quietly worried about their mum but letting them know you need a bit of help from them to get better and asking if they have ideas of what could help will let them feel they can try to help you even if it’s just a bit using what they could do.
Most useful extras for those first few days, extra pillows to help protect scar and get semi comfy in bed and a floor grabbing stick used by the frailer elderly for items I dropped till I could manage the reach.
The hardest part of being a mum is when you realise your kids love you so much they want to help you out so you can get better. Try and let them even when what they can do is not perfect. Take it from me housework is very patient and it will wait for you!
Only iron the absolute essentials. Most modern clothes will be fine if you just fold them carefully once they are cupboard dry.
If you get reliable sane offers of help such as another trusted parent offering to take your children to school whilst you heal enough to either walk them or safely drive them take them up. You will then have a chance to heal and be back up and starting to run sooner rather than later. Yes it’s hard to do especially when you’re used to doing everything but it should be the first few days to two weeks you need the most extra help. I used to take a near neighbours child following an appeal to and from the school and eCRB check whilst their poorly younger child was in hospital for many weeks.
Well done on meal prepping. Carry weight on your good arm and just use the side with the masectomy to help with balance. Do use good oven gloves that cover your wrists in case of slips whilst you learn how to balance taking food out of the oven.if someone can help you with that initially- let them. It will get easier over the first two weeks.
Found the second week post masectomy physically tougher as scar etc starting to tighten together which came as a shock as I could move far more the first week. The recommended physio exercises will help you to improve movement over time.
And ask for DH to leave the tea and coffee so you can make your own whilst he works. Discovered the hard way l could not easily get the lid off the coffee jar and redecorated the entire kitchen with coffee.
sorry l have not found a way to stop people from asking how l am, so l have taken off the velvet gloves and just tell them. It’s only the very tiny handful of people who haven’t been in a similar boat who know to offer practical help or say come for a coffee or I want to drop round a meal, what has chemotheraphy left you able to face eating ?
Hope all goes as well as it can for you. In honesty the anticipation of surgery can be tougher than the reality of after surgery. Chat with or call your hospitals BCNs as they often have helpful suggestions that can help.
. Obviously when it’s wet it will be much heavier….perhaps only take a little out at a time to hang up. I was lucky, I had an old set of pushchair wheels and I would drag the bag of washing off the kitchen step onto the wheels and then push it to the washing line ( perhaps your kids have a skateboard that you could use?). I could hang washing out, carefully and slowly using good arm to take the weight. I left the dry bag of washing at the bottom on the stairs for my kids to take up…..you could leave this for hubby to take up when he is home. Only iron what you need to.
