hi all, well i finished chemo and rads now on tamoxifen for five yrs, in a bit of a quandry found out my hubby doesnt want me to have recon says ive had enough surgery and any surgery has or could have problems, i have the option of a implant with the back muscle or the tummy tuck one but its a way off yet a year i think, but seeing as its me who has to go around lopsided for the rest of my natural life i will be going for it an bugger the consequences i know hes only thinking of me and the risks he`s a worrier bless him…hes been here all thru this bloody bc and @ times hes been a wreck worrying bout me so now he has another thing to worry about btw ladies i am a 36f bust so you can imagine my predicament haing just the one large boob,…bye for now ladies an any imput is welcome …caroleann
Hi Caroleann
I had reconstruction in january 07 and have to say I had my doubts, as I had had a lumpectomy before xmas, and didn’t want the 7 hour op that it is.
After the surgeon had drawn all over me, I turned to my hubby and said that I couldn’t go through with it.
He was happy with whatever I decided, and 10 minutes later I was in theatre to frightened to say anything.
Looking back I am soooooo glad I did have the reconstruction done as I feel balance and don’t know if at 35 I could have lived with myself by not having it done.
I had the back muscle op and was in hospital 4 days with 2 drains in.
After 2 days they took my back drain out as there was nothing coming out of it, and they took my front drain out before I went home. I think normally you do have it in longer, but being a tight yorkshire woman I don’t like to part with anything!!!
I did feel uncomfortable, especially sleeping as I am generally a front sleeper, but the discomfort was nowhere near as I imagined.
What I am trying to say is that do this for yourself as it is you that has to live with how you look and feel.
I have no regrets, and so many friends have HONESTLY said to me that they can’t tell the difference.
Good luck with your decision.
I am a 38D by the way.
Take care
Angie
x
Hi Caroleann and Angie
I’m 35 and due to have my mastecomy and reconstruction with the LD muscle like yourselves in August. From reading this site it seems to me that alot of women have their reconstruction sometime after mastecomy however my Dr feels that because of my age I can have it done at the same time which for me seems the best option. I’m a bit of a wimp and have little patience for myself and therefore feel that one lot of pain although maybe slightly worse may be better for me. I was just wondering if you were offered recon at the same time or if not why were you advised to wait? I was diagnosed on 5th July which is a day I’ll never forget but am waiting until beginning of August for surgery. I think because my Drs on holidays or at least the one I want that has a good reputation and also I’m attending for numerous scans before hand.
I’m at the stage where I have read a lot, asked a lot of questions. When I went for my consultation I had 8 pages of questions and the doc asked jokingly was I nearly finished. She has been so good that I even asked who would be assisting with my surgery. As someone that works within the health service I know some that I don’t want anywhere near me.
Angie it’s so reassuring to hear that you have no regrets in relation to the recon and my question is how painful were the drains in coming out as that is my main worry (Strange I know, but then again some of my famiily and friends would say I’m strange anyway) Caroleann I can also understand where your husband is coming from he just wants to make everything easier for you. Some men really have no idea that they can’t make everything better unfortunately and because they are being so supportive it makes it harder for them. As you’re the one that has to live with the consequences of not having recon versus the consequences of having it I’m sure your husband will support you in whatever you decide after all he’s been awesome up until now and there is no reason why he won’t continue to be so.
Still lots of thinking to do and I wish you will in whatever you decide.
Wendy
Hi Wendy
I had my recon at the same time as my mastectomy, that’s why it took 7 hours.
I had to stay on my back for the first 24hours lying flat (i think it was to do with the back wound,) but was attached to a morphine drip that I could press as and when I felt the pain. I have to say that when the nurses looked, they said I hadn’t used much at all.
When they take your drains out there is a little stitch to hold it in place that they cut, then ever so gently the pull, and if you need them to stop they will. The back one wasn’t a problem, but the front didn’t seem to want to move, and there was a gentle tug that did make my eyes water, but the nurse stopped.
I wouldn’t say it was pain, just a few seconds of discomfort, and I felt sooooo much better when they were out, as then I could go to the loo without having to take them with me!!!
I do hope you decide to make the right decision for yourself.
I know it must be very hard for a partner to see you go down to theatre and through the after effects, but try and see past that, you have to be happy with your choice.
I am now at the stage where I am considering having a new nipple put on as I did lose mine, I keep thinking “why bother” but I know I can decide at a later date, might be a little too soon yet.
Take care
Angie
xx
Hi Caroleann
I had my reconstruction for myself my husband knew that whether it was delayed or immediate I had every intention of having it because it’s me that has to live with it.I had a DIEP and although it was a long op you don’t know about it and with the morphine afterwards - I didn’t use much - it is more discomfort than pain that you feel.
Hope your husband comes round to a reconstruction.
Love
Beverley
Hi Wendy
Felt I had to reply to your posting. Have an immediate recon if you can as they can nearly always save most of the skin and the results are quite different to a delayed op. As you will see from my previous post I had a DIEP the drains were not too bad and were out within 3 days. None of the op was as bad as I feared it may be and it was well worth it for having a breast.
Hope all goes well.
Love
Beverley
hi and thanks for replying, reason im having to wait is i was going to have the implant and back muscle done so they put a expander in first, my body rejected the expander. this was to stretch my skin so im now thinking of the tummy tuck one diep?and nipple lol they took mine too im not even thinking of a nipple yet so u can see why my hubby is a wee bit scared for me to have more surgery (tuff yorkshire lass here) not scared of the surgery, pain or discomfort we are like old pals now lol juat wanna look normalish…caroleann
Hi Caroleann,
Thought I’d come in on this thread, I am 8 weeks post bilateral reconstruction using the back muscle and implant. I wanted immediate recon last Aug when I had the mastectomy but my surgeon said as they didn’t know at that stage whether I would need chemo or rads it was not possible. I didn’t need either so was referred to a plastic surgeon who was amazing. As others have commented it was more uncomfortable than painful with drains in both back and front and both sides, so found it very difficult to sleep, but once the drains were out I felt ok, still sore but managable with basic pain relief The op took approx 7 hours but I didn’t know much about it, it was harder for my partner, but I have to say I am so pleased I had it done, I feel so much more confident now, at 41 I couldn’t imagine going through the rest of my life boobless.
You must do what is right for you, my partner voiced his concerns about the op, the length of time in theatre and risks etc but was happy for me to go ahead with it as he knew has much it meant to me to have it done.
Hope all goes well for you I’m sure it will
Take care
Kaz
xx
My hubby does not really want me to have my Diep either,
he says he loves me the way i am and i know hes very nervous about me going through such a long operation.
But i dont love me so i’m waiting to get another date as it was cancelled last week.
Hubby says he understands if its what i want to do, as i’m only 37 i really cant bear the thought of going through the rest of my life lopsided,
maybe if i was older i may have decided against it.
kim x
Kim
I just want to wish you all the best for your surgery when it happens and hope that you get a date again soon. I have just got my date for my surgery and for someone to now cancel it would just devastate me. Fingers crossed you get your date very soon and that whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you after all everyone else just wants to protect you but you have to decide what’s right for you. If your anything like me you’ll find that you are unable to decide what you want for breakfast, lunch or dinner at the minute so to decide on something as major as surgery just throws you into a tail spin.
Anyway good luck with your decision making and your imminent surgery.
Wendy
hi homer, gosh i understand the i dont love me biti`m still undecided which one to go for but time is on my side as mick jagger once sang lol and i know whatever i decide my hubby will back me up and be there for me bless him hes been a brick i look down @ myself as im sat here in a pink strappy summer top an all i see i how awful my front looks nothing on my left side an a large lonely boob on my right cant even wear my prosthetic as the rads have aggravated my breast tissue an its all sore n swollen ah well never mind theres ppl worse off then me:d…all the best caroleann