What you say is so true, life is too short to be unhappy.
When I found about my ex hubby’s affair I could no long carry on in the marriage as I couldn’t live my life looking over my shoulder. My ex hubby on the other hand didn’t want us to divorce. For me, it was the right decision as he eventually married his lover.
I myself just concentrated on bringing my son up and working all hours to get myself back on my feet.
As individuals we all do things differently but for me affairs will always remain a no go area, no disrespect to anyone else.
It is very easy to condemn someone when you are not in their shoes.
Yes I am seeing a married man but his wife actually knows and has contacted me to say she hopes I make him happy as they have been living together more as brother and sister for many years although she doesn’t want to divorce him. For her it is more about being kept in the manner to which she has become accustomed rather than loving him.
I have known him for 7 years and for 6 of those we were just mates and I never thought anything would happen as he was married and as far as I was concerned that was off limits.
I was in an extremely abusive marriage for nearly 24 years although have 3 wonderful kids as a result and would not swap them for the world. He makes me feel alive and treats me far better than I have ever been treated before. Ok I don’t have him full time but do have him for 5 days out of 7.
Everyone is different and I know many people will think that I am in the wrong but in reality he did and still does all the chasing. Not an excuse but women do seem to get blamed more than the men, It takes 2.
Thanks again for all your support, even those of you who don’t approve (& who could?)have been understanding.As diepcat says though, I really didn’t get into this situation on my own. O.K if I’m honest I made the running, but he had to take me up on it, otherwise nothing would have happened. I never thought it would, anyway, because I perceived him as a very upright man. So in a sense I guess I’m a bit disappointed that he’s obviously not as upright as I thought him - I’m sure that makes no sense.
I don’t actually know enough about his home life; when we started & I was also with a partner, I told him I didn’t want to know, & can’t see how to ask questions now. But I would like to know his intentions if any.
I do believe his feelings for me go very deep, & it’s not, as I’ve said, just physical, or just exciting. Physically I’ve been such a mess over the past months, & there can be very little less exciting than breast cancer. So any allure I might have posessed has gone. Yet he has not.
It has crossed my mind that perhaps he’d like his wife to find out, & kick him out, removing the burden of decision making from him. I know some men do yhat -the coward’s way out.
Like angels says though, I believe if you think you’re with the wrong person you should get out, not even necessarily to be with the one you love, but because it seems to me so dishonest to stay when you’re playing a part.
How interesting - in the course of this post I’ve called him cowardly, & dishonest. Yet that’s not how he is at all.
Linda, that was a horrible experience for you, those people were not proper friends to try to use you in that way.
And good luck to us all, may we all find the support we need & stay strong in our relationships if they’re good, & perhaps find the courage to move on if we’re not getting the support we need.