I am 25 years of age. 2 Years ago i found a lump in my right breast and after a year of going back and forth to the drs they final gave me an ultra sound and said it was nothing just a fat lobe. I was delighted and went home thrilled until a month ago (1 year on) when i noticed the lump again. This time the lump was bigger.
I went back to the Drs and two days ago i was sent for further tests. Again they did an ultra sound and said nothing was wrong just a fatty lump but did an FNA just in case. The FNA came back back ‘scandity inadequate’ and they said they thought that was fine as they couldn’t see any ‘cancerous looking lump’. I wasn’t impressed as they hadn’t actually ruled out anything just said to ‘keep an eye on it’. I am considering going private. I was feeling ok thinking i would just go private, until today and i woke up and on my left breast (the opposite one to the lump) i can see a small patch pink in colour looks dry like a dry skin and slightly itchy but i would not have even noticed it had i not been going through this.
I am terrified its IBC and am petrified i am going to die. I have done all the reaseach, i know you can’t cure IBC like you can some other forms of breast cancer and that most suffers only get 5 years if that. I’m only 25, i know there must be people younger than me who have gone through this, but i can’t help feeling that i haven’t lived my life yet. I have just set up home with my BF of 2 years and got a dog, what ive always wanted. I don’t want this to end, i don’t want to die or only have a few years left to live. I want to get married, have kids, grow old. I know everyone wants this but i’ve worked myself up so much that i am having frequent panic attacks. I’ve never been so scared before in my life. Although there is no family history of breast cancer, someone has to be the first right?! And i sadly watched the wife of one of my cousins die from breast cancer, she too had been told the ultra sound was fine.
Please help, i’m so frightened and feel so alone. Everyone tells me ‘i’m young, you’ll be fine’ but i can’t help fearing the worse. I’m just not coping with this. I know there are people far worse off, i know i haven’t even been diagnosed yet and might not be, but i can’t help thinking and fearing that bad news is just around the corner. I’m sorry if i sound selfish or inconsiderate as i don’t def know what it is yet but i’m terrified and i feel so isolated from the normal world at the moment like everyone else is living there life just fine apart from me.
I am so sorry you find yourself here. We are all in this together and going through the process is awful. Have you got another appointment with your doctor or the clinic?
Ring the helpline and have a chat.
You are not alone and, although I understand how frightening it is, try not to worry (much easier said than done I know!)
Go back to your GP and ask for more help.
Do take care and make sure you get the answers you need to reassure you.
With very best wishes,
miscally x
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am ringing again tomorrow morning but to be honest i want to find another clinic as i didn’t find the one i went to very helpful or friendly. My friends and family all tell me not to worry and that ‘it’s probably nothing’ but it doesn’t do anything to soothe me. I just don’t know how people who go through this and discover they have something wrong manage to cope.
Welcome to the forums, I am sorry to read you’re having such a tough time at the moment. As miscally has mentioned if you would like to talk things through do give the BCC helpline a call and speak to one of the trained members of staff. Here you can share your concerns with someone who will offer you emotional support as well as information.
The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9 to 5pm and 9 to 2pm Saturday.
I so feel for you and the agony you are going through at the minute. You are doing the right thing by phoning your GP in the morning and i’d also do as Sam and Miscally have suggested and phone BCC tomorrow for some advice. Please can I suggest that you don’t do any more research tonight. Your brain is on overload at the minute but the sad fact is that no amount of worrying will alter the facts. Everything is crossed that you’ll be given good news but if you aren’t I think that you be surprised at how well you do cope. As i think the majority of women on here will testify, it’s the ‘not knowing’ that crucifies you. Once you know what you are dealing with something kicks in and you find a strength that you never knew you had. I doubt that you’ll feel able to sleep much tonight. What I did was snuggle up on the settee with a book and the TV on to try and distract me. I also played Solitaire (badly) on the computer. As dawn was breaking I tuned into the birds singing and I found that strangely relaxing. You are most definately not selfish or inconsiderate, just understandably frightened.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Lottie and lady Just to add to what others have said. Do not google any more, you will find worst case scenarios and send your self bonkers with it.You are not selfish or inconsiderate but understandably terrified. Do ring your GP for an appt. There was a link somewhere on here from one of the BCC staff about finding a breast care clinic in you area but sorry I can’t find it sorry. Would suggest you ask the helpliners if you ring them tomorrow. They are so helpful.You are in a really awful place at the moment sending you big cyber hugs.Hope you get some answers soon and that they are good ones. Love Jackie
Thank you so much everyone. I have stopped googling and looking at reaseach like you all say it won’t actually give me answers just give me more reasons to worry. I was refused by NHS to have any more tests as they said the symptoms didn’t appear strong enough to be breast cancer and to come back in six months if symptoms worsen! Even the breast cancer nurses wouldn’t see me ‘without a direct referall from a dr’. So i have gone privately (thanks so much to my aunty) and have an appointment on Friday at 1 o’clock where hopefully i will get some answers. I am going to try to be strong and say i don’t want any more scans or x-rays i want solid proof from a biopsy that there is nothing wrong. Also the lump is painful on and off so i would like it removed, as even if there is nothing wrong why should i live with pain for no reason when i can get rid of it? I will hopefully have answers on friday or at least have a step in the right direction finding out for sure what is wrong. So i am signing off until then and will post back when i have some more information. Thank you so much to everyone who has post, i really am taken back by everyones kindness and helpful information. I will also be using the helpline after Friday but right now hoping to put it to the back of my mind until i know more. It prob won’t work as i worry about it 24/7 but at least i won’t be making it worse by researching things that won’t help at this moment in time. Thanks again to everyone, you really are such wonderful people. Take care and speak again after Friday x