Hi mo I am so glad to know what your name is. I dont write very much but read day and night. The ladies on here are wonderful. I found first lump 2 March, Mamo, ultra sound, core biopsy found second lump. Was told no worry found early only one lump cancer. Lumpsectomy then rads. Next visit changed both cancer Masectomy. I was totally numb. Weeks on I have found shower to be my friend. I can cry and just tell boys i got soap in my eyes.I am going in Friday if there is a bed operation masectomy and tummy reconstruction. They will tell me after if I need chemo. More scared now of chemo. My youngest is 14 years and beautiful. I dont know how but we can do this. I want to send you lots of love deb43
Hi all, another sleepless night in Sussex!!! Thank you for all your comments and kind thoughts. I am having some trouble with all the abbreviations, but i am assuming that most of it is about the chemo etc. I plan to stop work Friday to clear my house prior to surgery. I am going to the doctor today to try to get something to help me sleep … i am so tired!!! Is an auxillary clearance when they take out all the nodes under the armpit. If it is I am having mine done at the same time as the mastectomy. My understanding is that is how they tell what sort of chemo you have? How long does each of the periods of chemo last - my husband had three 21 day cycles both before and after surgery and he had the most awful time - I do not know what to be most scared about, surgery, results or chemo
I cannot tell you all how much your comments/thoughts have meant to me
lots of love
Mo
xx
Hi Mo
Sorry to hear you have joined us here. We are allowed to cry you know, to hold it in is not good for you. You are in a scary place right now and I know from experience how hard it is to believe that one day you will be saying on here to another lady who sadly joins us that one day you will feel you are in a much safer place.
Do you have a support centre or group near you, I have found mine so helpful in addition to the amazing support on this site. I have been on here since dx (diagnosis) day but come on less now as I am 6 months post op from extensive DCIS, mastectomy and reconstruction. Mine was high grade and micro invasion. Good luck to you honey and you will feel stronger soon.
Sending you hugs and understanding.
Luv Carole xx
Hi Mo
I know it’s hard but try not to worry too much about the op. I had my mast with immediate recon last week and have felt very little pain. It helps waking up looking as you did before. I have cried each day since coming home I think the shock of it all is finally hitting me, but I do feel better each day it just all takes a bit of getting used to.
I spent the week or so before sorting out my house and garden and filling the fridge and freezer, so that there was little to do when I got home. It will help to keep your mind occupied. It is difficult to talk to the people around you at home as you feel they don’t really know what you are going through. The girls on here have been a godsend they have helped me take it day by day and not get overwhelmed by it all. It really does help knowing that they have been where you are and are still staying positive, and that they care enough to help you during their own daily struggle.
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending my love.
Ann
xxx
Hi Mo
I just wanted to say that I feel for you. My Mum has just been diagnosed last Friday. Whenever I am not doing something which requires concentration I am crying all the time and its not even happening to me. You will get loads of support on here which I guess you know already. My Mum said tonight she was starting cross stitch again as it will take her mind off it. I know cross stitch isnt everyones bag, but anything that takes your mind of it - from puzzle books, to talking to friends might help.
Thinking of you Mo
Suzy xx
Mo try and concentrate on your surgery before worrying about chemo hun, i know it’s hard but take things one step at a time otherwise your brain will explode!!
Axillary clearance is the removal of your lymph nodes and they will biopsy your lump and breast tissue and also your nodes which will determine your treatment to follow…
If- IF you need chemo, the oncologist will decide on the right course for you (there are soooo many) and he will measure your body mass/height etc and make the correct measure to suit you…Obviously being the right chemo to suit your cancer…
I am having 8 doses of chemo, every 3 weeks and i am on dose no.2 already…I have 2 small children to look after and honestly am not finding it unbearable so please don’t panic…It’s very do-able even for little me!! And you may not even need it yet!!!
Try and concentrate on one thing at a time, whatever treatment you need you’ll have and come out the other side a much stronger person…And hey, you have such a wonderful bunch (us of course) fighting with you!! And i’ve got to say without sounding cruel…Woman tolerate all illnesses much better than men in general, so don’t panic that hubby found chemo so hard…Bear in mind a common cold lasts 5 weeks when a man has it and they’re normally bedbound for most of that time too!!!
Big Hugs to you…I’m watching a programme about big babies!! How do we do it eh??? That pregnant man will NEVER have another i’m sure…Sweet dreams.x.x.x.
Hi Mo
I found those first few weeks were the hardest, then I became rather numb to it all - very much in denial. I was dx in Nov 07 with grade 3 HER2+ tumour. I started chemo first - which is as you said done in 3 week cycles, then had a mastectomy and 28 nodes removed 6 weeks ago. That was another tearful stage for me after “coping” so well during chemo. As everyone says, have a good cry and remember we are all different in how we cope with things.
Where is W Sussex are you? I’m in Haywards Heath and go to a local support group in Cuckfield if that’s any good to you?
It’s a bumpy ride but you’ll get through it.
Sharon
hello everyone
mo
i am sorry you are feeling low at the moment, it must be really difficult for you because you have just been through it with hubby.,but try not to think that you will definatly feel awful because you saw hubby suffering, we all react differently.
i have some friends who never suffered at all and some that felt wretched. we need to just take this one step at a time, try not to predict the future because if your like me half of the stuff i worry about never happens. at least your hubby knows what you will be going through and can support you.
and like someone else said men dont suffer things lightly, mine hasnt looked at my scar yet, they cant face things sometime. good job we have female support.
hope you can manage to enjoy some moments in the sun, at least it will dry the tears up . but let them flow. better out than in. as they say.
lots of love and many blessings lorraine
Hi everone - you are all absolutely wonderful, you are giving me such good vibes. I have been told that my cancer is in the whole of my breast and that some of my breast skin is affected so they have said they will not be doing reconstruction for a while. I keep trying to think of one stage at a time, but my silly brainbox keeps leaping ahead to what the results will be - cannot seem to help it as i am so scared. I think the problem is that my surgeon said that my cancer is “extensive” and even tho she assures me that it seems to be contained I keep thinking that it is going rampant!!!
Sharon I live near Hastings so your support group is a bit out of the way.
All i know i am being silly but i just keep thinking how much worse it is because it is full blown cancer and not the stage before - how much difference does that make for my prognosis?
I cannot thank you all enough for your comments and support I thought i would be lucky if I got a couple of replies!!!
Lots of Love
Mo
Dear Mo
sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I’m going to Hastings today to help my auntie - she’s 85 and not doing too well. She’s been in the Conquest Hospital, is that where you are being treated? Maybe there’s a support group there for women diagnosed with breast cancer. I went to one in London after diagnosis and found it helpful.
My grandmother had stomach cancer and it was very different from breast cancer, not that any kind of cancer is what I’d ideally have planned for my life.
Let us know how you get on, a problem shared is a problem halved.
Mole
Hi Mole
Yes i am having my surgery at the Conquest, my husband has just finished treatment for stomach cancer so I know what that is like. I am so sorry about your grandmother i do hope she feels better soon.
I have not heard of a support group near here yet, but i will be asking my breast care nurse when i go for my pre assessment.
lots of love
Mo
Hi Mo
- it sounds like you are assimilating information and working it out a bit. Well done! It does get easier…
WHEN you get to your oncologists (& remember there is a lot to go through before that!) and you ask about ‘prognosis’ , they talk about 10years of being cancer free. Remember that, because when they told me mine ( it’s done with a computer programme where they factor in lots of stuff) and it was 68% I thought Bugger - that means one in three die… which is of course not true - it’s that 1/3 have reoccurance within 10 years. mine was DCIS high grade and widespread (4cm of spread) with a second grade 3 AND nodes… and HER2+… and I STILL get 68%… so thats GOOD!! It feels good. I’m thankful for our system…
Have a really good w/e if you can … do something nice!!
Td xxx
Hi Td thank you for your thoughts. I am trying to do what everyone suggest and concentrate on the surgery, hoping for the best re nodes etc. I am going to London tonight to see Hairspray - a few friends are treating me, so I am looking forward to that. When it comes to chemo i just hope that i am not as bad as my husband was, but from the comments here it appears that a lot of people do not have too many side effects. I can only hope. I hope all is going well with you
Lots of love
Mo
what a good idea to go to hairspray, it’s something I’d love to do as michael ball is supposed to be absolutely terrific in it
mole