I was diagnosed about 4 weeks ago but there was confusion about my results. I recently had an MRI scan and saw my surgeon today. She has told me that I have Lobler cancer and because it is extensive in one breast I have to have a mastectomy. She has said there is no indication of spread, but I am terrified that because she said it is extensive in the breast that it will spread. I asked if I was going to die and she said no, and that it is very treatable. My husband and mother think this is good news and keep telling me I should be relieved but I keep thinking that I am going to die. My husband has just got the all clear from stomach cancer after surgery and chemo and I do not know if I can face anymore
Hi friend sorry but dont know your name, Cry and cry, you have every right to do so. I am also crying with you, the first diog is so terrible but there are lots of ladies on here who can help. Big X Deb43
Thank you so much, my name is Maureen (Mo for short)
HI Deb43
I still cry 9 months down the line,we have a right to,our bodies have been invaded by a terrible disease and on top of that there are people prodding and poking where we thought only our loved one would be allowed to do,it is a very big invasion of privacy,and having to involve family seems hard but you will be surprised how they will adapt.
Take Care
Mary
xx
As Deb and Mary says, crying is a very normal and healthy response to all that has happened. It is such a big shock, isnt it? One minute your life is ticking along nicely and then all of a sudden, this gets thrown at you. As time goes on and you get more used to your situation (which you will, believe me) the crying wont be all the time. So at the moment, dont try to hold back your tears, it will only cause you more stress.
Cathy
x
Hi Mo
Your details have just come up now! Extensive cancer within the breast is not the same as spread to other parts of the body, which is more serious. By having a mastectomy it should get rid of all the cancer. Are you having radiotherapy and chemo too? It is tough when you have just supported your husband through cancer and you are probably so tired that at the moment you just feel overwhelmed. Look at it this way. Your husband has been successfully treated for cancer. So you know that cancer can be treated. You are also well aware of what may lie ahead of you so your are much more prepared than someone who has never had personal experience of cancer. My son had cancer as a baby and like you, I thought when I was diagnosed how unfair that I have to go through all this crap again. However, he too was successfully treated and that gave me hope and helped me cope with the treatment for me. My advice to you is not to race ahead in your mind. At the moment, you have been told your cancer is treatable and you are not going to die, so although you to get through the treatment, hold on to that. Your doctor wouldnt have said that if she didnt believe it. They dont go round flowering up the situation just to make them feel better. If she had doubts, she would have said so. You will get through it.
Cathy
x
Hi Mo
I have cried nearly every day now for 6 weks, but i am just a weepy person. I cry for me, amost pf the ladies threads here and also for the unknown. If want to cry now I just do its OK.
Love and hugs
Bridie
Hello Mo
I see you were up in the middle of the night posting that - always the darkest time when no-one else is awake, everything pops into your mind and there is no-one to run it by.
As Cathy, Mary Debs & Bridie have said - we all cry, so just do it. We also all feel frightened beyond belief at times then come to terms with things at other times. During the course of this disease things sometimes change, results of other tests throw up more worries and it feels like we can’t possibly cope with one more barrier to jump. You have just had all the worry of your husbands cancer, and here you are as a couple going through it all again… it makes you angry as well as scared.
Remember that the good thing about all of this is that your cancer has been found, your surgeon is confident that it is treatable and that the future is bright. it’s just yet another mountain to climb.
I am thinking of you and sending Big Love and good vibes and loving hugs (((((((((((((((x))))))))))))))
Td x
Hi Mo
Just wanted to say sorry, I found my lump just before you and was devastated, I cried a lot and although I have a good family around me I felt very very alone. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare and was waiting for someone to wake me up and tell me it wasn’t real, I still am to be honest. You will have a lot of questions, why me, what have I done to deserve this, am I going to die, this is all normal. You will sometimes want to scream and cry and get angry we have all felt like this too. I also worried that it might be somewhere else, you need to tell your breast care nurse how you feel and ask her if any other tests can be done to rule this out. I had blood tests a chest xray to check my lungs and a bone scan they all came back ok, this will help to put you mind at rest.
I had my mastectomy last week with immediate reconstruction it looks pretty good, I’m a bit stiff but that will pass. The next step is probably chemo another thing that will knock me along the way, but if that’s what it takes I will do it to get rid of this thing.
I have been pretty positive along the way with lots of tears and ups and downs, if I can do this anyone can. You will amaze yourself at how strong and positive you can be with this hanging over you.
Breast cancer is very common now they have a great system in place to treat it, we can live full and long lives after our treatment. Keep this in mind.
All of our thoughts and love are with you
Lots of love
Ann
xxx
Hi Mo,
I cried at the beginning too… a lot, but then I realised that a lot of that fear is based on the cancers of 20 or 30 years ago which didn’t have such good success rates. We still have it in our collective unconscious from that time, and don’t realise until we are diagnosed just how different things are now. As my breast surgeon says there are women everywhere running around raising money for research who are living, strong and getting on with their lives. It is a very treatable disease now.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t cry - it is a horrible thing to go through after all, and deep in the night is my worst time too - but for me, knowing the great systems they have with the success rates keeps me going.
Cx
Hi Mo sweetie.
I hope I can help you with some words of reassurance. My mum was dx with lobular on 7th March this year. It was quite extensive as in 4cm round which is huge!! They told her immediately that she would have to have a mastectomy or they could try and shrink it with Letrazole. The tumour has shrunk considerably by 3/4 and there giving her a scan this month to see if its in the nodes. (MRI scan). My sister had a very long chat with the consultant and she is under the Marsden and they have such an excellent reputation. Anyway she told my sister the chances of it having spread were between 2 to 3 per cent which is minimal.
My mum like you was told it was treatable. I hope that helps you feel a bit better about it.
I know when I had my scare with my lump everytime I heard some positive news it made me feel so much better, and I hope my posting might help you a bit!
J xxx
I cannot thank you all enough for your messages, it has made me feel a lot better (at least for now!!!) I have just had another bout of crying because on top of everything esle i have just failed my driving test and i now know i cannot take it again until after my treatment.My breast care nurse rang this morning and they have re-schedled my mastectomy for the 19 June, it was previously the 25th. Needless to say I then started worrying why they had brought it forward!!! but the nurse said it was just because it was clear at my meeting with the surgeon that i wanted to just get rid of it and the surgeon was able to get another list. So heres hoping that it has not affected too many nodles.
Again thank you so much, I feel such a cowerd sometimes, especially as my husband was so brave with his cancer.
Lots of love to you all and hope to hear from you soon
I have just recently been diagnosed with BC p- the lump they took out was 5 cm - but they still say it’s at stage 2 - I have had chest xray and bloods taken and they have all come back negative - I have read all of your replies to Redemption - and I would like to add - that reading them is so reassuring - to know that there are others going through the same anxieties as yourself.
I have my mastectomy and total node removal tomorrow - 11th June - so we should be able to swap notes Redemption as yours is now on 19th. The very best of luck - we will be in touch.
I haven’t cried yet - I have felt very frightened - but not yet cried p- but no doubgt there is plenty time - and experiences ahead when I’m sure I will be reaching for the Kleenex!!
Take care all and keep in touch
Pam
xx
Hi Redemption and p4d,
Welcome to the forums, as you will already have noticed you will get a lot of help and support from the many informed users of this site, I am sure it will help you both.
Being newly diagnosed BCC have published an A5 binder full of useful information about diagnosis and treatment of BC which you may find useful. To get a free copy just follow the link below:
breastcancercare.org.uk/content.php?page_id=7514
Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator
Mo
I had my lumpectomy brought forward 10 days (and I was clear, no cancer). They didnt bring it forward because they were worried that I had cancer spreading, it was because they knew how upset I was and how I wanted it done sooner rather than later, so they juggled things around and slotted me in earlier. So please try not to worry sweetie.
Hugs Jules xxx
Mo I still cry 7 months on I too had extensive but in the whole breast as the doc said the risk was too great so I had a mastectomy last october and recon Jan this year … i just wanted the B*******d out and the doc says it is so that s good enough for me … I will be honest its not easy but these ladies on here and the journeys they have taken make it easier somehow just to know there are people t there who do know how you feel waht you feel and what you will feel 6/7 months on like me
You never look at life in quite the same way but you do adjust … I cant remember life before BC !!! Anyway just wnted to let you know that you are not alone xxxxxxxxxxxx
Maz
Hi Mo
Sorry to hear that you are at the in between stage of dx and surgery - it is a very frightening time and it is natural to be scared and tearful. There is no need to feel like you are being a coward, your feelings are perfectly understandable. In a way bringing your surgery forward is a good thing as it means less time sitting about worrying about it… but I understand your initial concern that it might mean that it meant that they were concerned. I had my initial consultation at one hospital on a Thursday and as they did not have mammo and US facilities they referred me to another hospital for these and indicated that I would probably get an appointment for early the following week - when the 2nd hospital called me that afternoon and asked me if I could go in the next day I was immediately worried as to why it was all happening so quickly - turns out that they just didn’t want me to wait all weekend worrying so they had juggled the appointments and fitted me in, but the panic was horrendous.
Good luck with your surgery and any further treatment you need. We are always here for support and remember that there is no such thing as a stupid question on this site … someone always has an answer to whatever is bothering you.
Hi Mo,
I had invasive lobular cancer, but after my lumpectomy they found a large amount of LCIS - lobular carcinoma in situ - these are precancerous cells that my surgeon said that we would be mad to leave alone - he said they may become invasive or they may not, they just don’t know hence the mastectomy.
My tumour had not spread and it was all contained in my breast. I had an immediate reconstruction, and no rads or chemo. I’m just on tamoxifen - have just over 4 years to go.
Hope this reassures you that it may not be as bad you think - sending you my best wishes and fingers crossed for you.
Love,
Sally xx
Hi Mo and Pam
I was diagnosed with invasive lob cancer last nov and had mastectomy and axillary clearance a month later. Being scared is v normal!!! I had an MRI too, which showed up all sorts of things in the breast with the tumour. Post op… more things came to light, but the job was done
So it’s now six months on for me and I’m doing what has to be done and I am OK. I have been matter of fact and I will prob carry on being that way but I know it is different for everyone and I would ask you both to be kind to yourselves. Give yourself space and think about you. We will be here for you.
take care
Jen x
Hi Mo & Pam
Sorry you’ve had to join us on here…
Everyone deals with bad news in different ways and crying is very normal, i have only shed a couple of tears myself but am very positive and refuse to let this b@st@r* get the better of me…
I am only 25yrs old with two small babies to look after but have the most wonderful husband to help me…
Mo it must feel like the world is against you hun, life deals us some very unfair blows and my question was ‘why me’?? Why any of us…It isn’t fair but it’s so important to remember this isn’t a death sentance…It’s soooo treatable, i was told it’s ‘the best cancer to get’ if any as it is so treatable.
I have had a mastectomy (lump 7cms in total!) and am on no.2 chemo…
I hope you get the support you need from us here and your family and anytime you need to cry, shout, get advice just know we’re here for you both…We’re all here for each other.
If either of you are on facebook, we have a wonderful group where we can see each other and chat too!!
Lots of Love
Lauren