Hi, I am so scared and really would like to communicate with someone or lots of people. Its so heart warming seeing the compassion and support on this website not just for those with bc but for family too. I have had a lumpectomy and lymph node removal so even though not got results yet (thats tomorrow) it must be bad cos my lymph nodes gone. I was gonna have a few removed and the blue dye but then my consultant told me on the morning of the surgery that he will take all of them. I am stiff and sore, have exercised but have fluid build up which is being drained tomorrow. i went in and out same day including drain removal. im just scared of what to come next, it has taken all my energy for the dx which i coped with , finished Christmas shopping (diagnosed 3 days before Christmas)and continued to work, but post op been worst the waiting feel like a lamb to the slaugher, but thats making me angry cos im a positive person and usually cope with whatever life throws at me but this is something else…and not only will i get results, the thought of them telling me its spread, please can you help me…
Having all your lymph nodes removed doesn’t always mean bad news and it doesn’t always mean the cancer has spread anywhere else. I had all my lymph nodes on one side removed because 1 ONE lymph node had a few cancer cells in it. But I was still upset and scared when I learned this, and very relieved when I learned the others were all right. It’s terrible having to wait to find out.
The swelling is really miserable and I feel for you, because I had a lot of problems with that and had to have it drained a few times. Ask for draining as often as you need. Do you have a cushion to put under your arm? There are some places where volunteers make special ones, but even a small sofa cushion will help. Try putting something really cold, like a freezer pack or packet of frozen peas, or a wet flannel from the fridge or freezer under your arm (not against bare skin, though), and take any painkillers you were given. And do the exercises, which help eventually.
You will probably find that whatever the news is, it helps to know, and then you can start to be more positive about what needs to be done.
Please, Please Please try to think positive I know it is soo hard but try to think you have had the surgery and now its just whatever treatment if any to clean things up!!!
Be strong hunny x
did your doc say why they were removing all your lymph nodes? what made him change his mind?
even if the cancer is in the nodes this doesnt mean it has spread anywhere else and they wouldnt be able to tell you this from your op… you would need to have further scans to find out if it has spread but if its not in your nodes then you wont normally need any other scans like a abdo CT and bone scan…
these are usually arranged pre-op however as they would normally have an idea if you have positive nodes from sending off an aspiration sample from the node at the time of biopsy if your nodes looks suspicious.
if these havent been done then it means its less likely to be in your nodes although they cannot be 100% certain until they examine them under the microscope.
i know its very hard not to go through all the scenarios in your head and i think the majority of us have done this at some stage so your not alone.
Thank you all so much for your care and support, I am a stranger to you all yet you reply with such compassion i am totally moved and appreciative of this. It is hard not to imagine worst case, think i am trying to not let myself be too upset if it bad, trying to be prepared tho i know could be wasted energy. I keep trying to remember when had the dx whether the consultant said remove all or some, my friend thinks he said some and im sure on the day his colleague came down and said some and then he came to me and said all. i am trying to take in that all removed does not mean def spread, and i have not had any indication of scans, just not to be alarmed if they say that it is just process of elimination.its the thought of being told name of cancer and then told its secondary aswell.Then comes the treatment plan, i think of my family how it will effect them and now i will look after my beautiful Zeyna my Rhosdesian Ridgeback cross, she is my baby and i am doing agility with her, how will this effect her… gonna try sleep now, read my book, try find an episode of Sex and the City, i remember Samantha was dx in the last film… how did she cope, i know just a film but has to be real to life…?
Thank you again this site really is such a comfort xxxxx
Silvershar, have you been given a breast care nurse? If so, you should be able to phone her up and ask a few questions that you didn’t get the answers to, like the name of your cancer and any other tests they’ve done on it already that you were told at the diagnosis meeting because it was a bit of a blur and you missed a lot of what was said. That might help you get to grips with things.
As for strangers, every single friend you have ever had started out as a stranger until you met them the first time. We’re just the same, and yes I completely agree with you.
Thank you ChoccieMuffin, and yes you are right re strangers, all my friends were, thats true, never thought of it that way, thank you, plus the breast care nurse, yes i have one called Julie. She came into the room with the consultant when i was diagnosed, i knew it was bad news when 2 people came in the room apart form the regular nurses in uniform. She answers my questions but she is def on a need to know basis and does not want me to worry myself with too much info so still hve not an idea what type of cancer it is. just gota wait till later. and later is coming nearer and nearer, 3.25 hrs till my appointment - thought this morn would drag but it has flown and i wish it slowed down. wanna savour the time i have left of not knowing and thats bizare i know, think im loosing the plot!
Shar xxx just so scared of that secondary word…
Thank you Sarah gratefully received, cyber hug to you too. less than 2 hours, trying to keep mind busy. My boyfriend will be here in about half an hour then off to Shrewsbury…
Shar xxx
at our clinic the nurses go in with the surgeon regardless of diagnosis so having a nurse isnt always bad news.
its always useful to write your questions down… i used to keep a notepad and pen under my pillow and id write things that popped inti my head in the night… trying to decipher what id written in the dark was another matter completely LOL but i couldnt get to sleep with questions whirring around in my head so writing it down help to rid my mind of each question so i could eventually get to sleep.