I don’t understand
I don’t understand My Mom has just been diagnosed with BC after months of testing. She has been told the tumour is slow growing but she has had it for some time as it has spread to her bones.
She has had radiotherapy to ease her pain and will start chemo in 3 weeks. She is having 6 treatments over 18 weeks and then they are going to look to take the tumour away.
I don’t understand why they can’t take the tumour away straight away as it is 3cm and then do the chemo? I don’t understand if the delay in the diagnosis will effect her recovery?
Will she get better? I have asked her what the specialists have said and she said they are confident? What does that mean?
I wonder if anyone else has been in this position and can give me some hope? I don’t want to loose my mom.
I am sorry if this message seems silly but it has taken me 3 weeks to pluck up the courage to post it.
Your message isnt at all silly, there is no need to feel afraid asking any questions or even just unloading your feelings on these forums. Im afraid that I dont really have the knowledge to answer your questions regarding your mums treatment, every person is different I think and each case is decided individually as regards what is the best for that person. However, I feel sure there are lots of people on these forums who are in your position and who can give you the benefit of their experience and support. I know that you could also telephone the support helpline on this site to talk to somebody about your feelings. I hope this helps a little and I will be thinking about you and your mum.
Pauline x
Helpline Dear lisalashes
As Pollym has said, the nurses and helpliners on Breast Cancer Care’s helpline may be able to offer you support and advice at this difficult time.
All the helpliners are either breast care nurses or have experience of breast cancer. The team comes from a variety of backgrounds, so callers get to talk to someone who has an understanding of the issues they’re facing and they can talk to you about both technical and emotional issues surrounding breast cancer.
The number for the help line is 0808 800 6000 and is open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm, Saturdays 9am - 2pm.
Kind regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care
Don’t be scared!! Hi Lisa,
Firstly I am sorry your mum has been diagnosed with breast cancer but as you’ll hear from this site - Its not the end.
I can’t help you or give you any info on the medical side but I am a daughter too and i too and still am very scared but slowly you’ll realise that your mum hasn’t changed and what you feel for her hasn’t either.
Just remember never be affraid to tell her you love her, talk with her and cry with her (i did and still do) but you both need to be strong and fight this together - I have raided the internet and got info for healthy eating and things like that to make me feel i can help her (My juices leave a lot to be desired but she takes them all the same - might be the “drink it or else” tactic I have now adopted - But I feel I am helping by giving her body the fuel to fight.
Never feel silly your scared for your mum - If you didn’t you wouldn’t care for her. Your human and when we here the ‘C’ Word it feels like the world has caved in but don’t let it beat you! Talk to other people - The more you talk the more you realise its just a word.
When my mum was diagnosed I cried for days after everytime i spoke to someone, everytime I saw her and when I recalled the call i had from her.
The advice i was given and sounds harsh but its true “don’t spend time crying alone, spend time with your mum and family - They are still here”. Be strong and there are plenty of people on here who’ll help so just keep talking!!
Best wishes and thinking of you and your mum!!
Thank You Dear Pauline,
Thank you very much for your message, it has really helped me. I was very moved that with all you are going through you still took the time to help some one else.
Thinking of you.
Lisa X
Thank You I just wanted to say thank you for your message, I have also raided the internet for help and advice because I feel it is a way to help. Funny but I have sourced my mom some supplememts which look like ground up tea leaves but smell and taste awful. We are both taking them!
Thanks again.
Lisa X
worrying about mums Hi Lisa, its funny because we do have something in common, although it’s me going throught the cancer, I am very worried about my mum and how she will cope. She has had a lot of shocks and bad things happen in her life and at the age of 65 I’m sure she thought things were settling down for her. She has always said that I’m her rock as she sometimes finds it hard to cope when things go wrong, I like to think Ive always been there for her. Now Im the source of things going wrong and its really rather strange! I think that mothers and daughters, if theyve been close, are always thinking and worrying about each other and I bet your mum is also worrying about you (just as I worry about my daughter too)! I dont think there’s much we can do about this but should just try and focus on enjoying the time we spend with our mums/daughters and being positive.
Pauline x