I don’t know when or from whom I heard the term ‘new normal’ applied to getting used to living with breast cancer, once the cancer’s gone and the treatments are over. All I know is that something clicked - it felt completely right that this is what I had to learn to accept. I was cured by some pretty brutal treatments not easily forgotten but I had a breast cancer diagnosis and would always live with the possibility of it coming back. This was something I couldn’t change, there was no point wasting energy waiting for the nightmare to strike again; what I needed to do was find a place in my mind where I could tuck it away hopefully not to be faced again.
So, although I’m still having a rough time with long term side effects, I’ve felt pretty proud of myself and my new normal. Then our Prime Minister, in one of his lucid moments, urged society to follow his very clear and unambivalent directions and accept a New Normal. Then Matt (he signed his letter about shielding to me as Matt so I have assumed we must be best mates) talked about this new normal. I can’t describe how shocked I was. How dare they steal my comforting phrase to reassure people who have to get used to things being different in pubs and swerving a bit as they walk about? How dare they see this as being equivalent to the nightmare of a cancer diagnosis and living with the knowledge that, at any moment, your whole world can be turned upside down again? There are many things you can do to protect yourself against contracting Covid-19, though I don’t deny that for some people it’s a major concern. But there is nothing you can do to avoid breast cancer. How can they compare the two? The cloud of Covid-19 hovers over everyone but it will disperse eventually as we learn more about it. The cloud of breast cancer is very different.
The greatest insult occurred tonight. The new Weetabix add jokes about the new normal. I have Weetabix every morning. Tomorrow it will stick in my throat. I feel something really meaningful has been stolen from me for the sake of yet another neat little sound bite from the PM - and I’m pissed off!
Rant over - I Know it’s just words but I needed to say it to people who might understand how I feel.