I have secondary cancer in my liver and bones, it came back 3 years ago and since then I have had oral chemo (capecitabine) and radiotherapy on various areas. A about 2months ago a bone scan showed lots more mets so I was changed from arimidex to exemestane and I am on naproxen for pain relief and zomorph was added also about a couple of months ago. for the last couple of weeks i have been feeling terrible, anxious ,low unable to sleep almost hallucinating at night. I am at my wits end I wander around in a daze and just dread going to bed. I seem to build every little problem into a gigantic one . My doctor would like me to go on anti depressants but I am very wary. I am on so many things could it be one of them? I am just not coping and it is terrifying me which is just not like me. I have coped so well up to now people are amazed by how wel I looked and coped. I have lost nearly a stone in weight. My son is getting married next month and i worry about all the arrangements for that. I am just a mess and don’t know what to do.
Hi Annieliz, I’ve just seen your post and wanted to let you know that someone had read it! (These forums are not very user-friendly)
I too have liver and bone mets and am on capecitabine. I haven’t had experience of your current medications so can’t offer specific advice, but from what you say, your problems might be caused by side effects of these. You need support - as we all do from time to time - the obvious things to suggest are your BCN, GP, family if they are supportive (thinking of the wedding coming up), BCC helpline (Saturday 10am-2pm) , possibly even your hospital chaplain or other spiritual adviser… As you’re having difficulty sleeping: isn’t it frustrating that most cancer-related helplines aren’t 24/7!
I’m sure you are NOT “going mad” and I hope a few cyber-hugs will be acceptable! - we’re here for each other.
Dear Annieliz
I am sorry to read that you are having such a difficult time and as Mrsblue has said, please feel free to call our helpline for further support, lines are open today 10-2 and during the week 9-5 on 0808 800 6000. Our team are here to offer you a listening ear and further support ideas too
Take care
Lucy
Thanks for your reply, it does help just knowing someone else cares. As you say it is the nights that are the worst, just seem endless and I try not to disturb my husband too much. I am sure I will sort myself out soon. Thanks again
Hi Annieliz,
I just wanted to add another voice of encouragement and support.
I know nothing about your medication but just thought it might be worth considering whether your feelings of anxiety/sleeplessness etc coincided with this?
Its a very different but I was given morphine post-operatively in February. It did not agree with me, I was sick, I experienced hallucinations and became very agitated. The nurses initially put this down to my emotional state which was understandable as I had just had biltaeral matsectomies. Even though I knew I was anxious, I knew it was more than this, and I would not accept their explanation.
Sleep is so important to being able to cope, and if you cant sleep it affects everything.
I am sure you are not going mad, but its worth having a good look at all the factors and supports open to you- they are there to help us cope when things are tough. The ladies on the helpline are lovely and very helpful.
Take good care,
Rattles. x
Hello Annieliz, I am sorry that yo are finding things difficut at the moment but you have a lot on your plate so it is not surprising. I am a bone mets lady and have been on morphine for many years, mst and occasionally I take oromorph. Like Mrs Blue has already suggested I think you need to speak to someone to vent your fears and worries. Why oh why Cancer patients do not get access of any real support over the weekend I have never understood. Do they think it is a 9 to 5 illness? Just to say you are NOT alone and until you get some real help we are here to help in any way we can. Keep posting on here and we will look out for your posts and hold your hand through this very difficult time. Having a wedding to cause you other worries must be hard too. Everyone is getting excited and all you feel is worry. I have had a stressfu time recently. My Mum died last month, I have no siblings and my Dad was unable to cope. Plus I needed a blood transfusion and I am on chemo! But just want to say we are hre for you and you are not alone. Love Val
Thanks so much for all your comments, they really really help. I have stopped taking the morphine as an additional pain killer so we will see if it helps. I am a lot calmer today and am having a duvet day as I think I am really shattered so hopefully I will be more my old self tomorrow. I am going to phone my breast care nurse tomorrow for advice I have just been changed from arimidex to exemestane and wonder if that could be the problem. As you all say it is the lack of sleep that just makes everything seem so much worse, I took sleeping pills last night and got a good 6 hours undisturbed sleep which helped. Also I am not eating properly I am just not interested in food. My poor husband he really tries to help but if I don’t know what to do he doesn’t stand a chance, it must be awful for him. There are so manylovely people like you going through traumatictreatment and up till now I have taken it in my stride which is why I am so confused as to why I am such a wreak at the moment. But I am feeling a lot more positive after your kind thoughts.
Thinking of all of you, and please keep in touch
Anne
xxx