First of all this is prob going to be mumbled jumbled. And tbh not even sure if i should post it in here or not.
I got diagnosed with a small breast cancer during a routine mammogram.
I’m divorced and even though I’ve got a great family. I am being so positive that even I can’t believe its me saying it all.
Because I live on my own my son was insisting the day I got told the diagnosis for me to stay with them, but I declined saying that sooner or later I would have to be on my own.
Anyway the thing that has hurt so much today is that for several weeks someone has been asking me out (from a dating agency.) I agreed to meet him today, and I have told him about the lump. He said he was glad I had told him. But you know what is coming. He stood me up in town. I felt so pathetic and lonely.
I phoned my son who is lucky he can just come out of work and said " stay where I was" and people watching me outside costa would see that I wasn’t stood up.
I know I will have family and friends with me for some of the time but I know they can’t be with me all the time, and I feel so alone right now.
Sorry I know I’m feeling sorry for myself, and I know a lot of you have got a lot more serious problems than mine but right now I just needed to finally cry - btw this is the first time I’ve cried.
Dzyre, Im so sorry, some people are just soooo shallow.
I cant speak from experience, as I do have a partner, but (and you will see as you read various threads) those of us with partners can also feel incredibly lonely sometimes (the acronym being MOHIAB - My Other Half Is A B*stard) . It is wonderful that your son is being supportive
You are entitled to feel sorry for yourself and that is what is great about this forum, that we all support each other through the lows and the highs.
Please keep readin and posting, you are bound to find a couple of threads that help you, or cheer you up. My particular favourites
breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/stop-feeling-guilty-small-rant-benchland AND breastcancercare.org.uk/community/forums/standing-outside-dark-dark-woods
These two threads are fully of self-deprecating humour and lunacy, so they should help cheer you up.
Have a hug <<<<<>>>>>>>
You will make it through with a little help from us on here, rant away, whenever you want xxxx
Hi Dzyre,
although I am lucky not to have had the same experience as you I think we all need a rant now and then. Looking at it another way at least he has shown his true colours before you became too involved with him. Take heart in yur family and in your true friends who will stand by you and be the rock you need at this difficult time. Like Nanna says check in at this site and you’re sure to find someone to lift your spirets. Good luck with the BC b*stard. We will all hold hands withyou along the path.
Hugs
M
Hi Dyzre
brilliant that you posted that. It’s all out now and you can be rid of it. We all know who ever it was that was supposed to meet you and didn’t is below slug status in the rank of things. Whatever his reason there is no excuse for not letting you know.
I had a weep on my own after I was diagnosed even though I’m a right tough old bird who hates fuss and is a ‘stuff and nonsense’ type who would have a broken leg dragging behind me down a hillside before calling for help (probably not so if it did happen). It does isolate you - even if you have the best family and friends. It’s sometimes more difficult trying to deal with them than it is dealing with the disease and process.
I don’t think that levels of seriousness of illness comes into it - you are vulnerable and scared the same as any of us.
The 6th will come and go. Once your surgery is over each day will be a step closer to recovery.
Your son sounds terrific. Allow him to spoil you a little as I expect he’s feeling like he doesn’t know what to do to help.
Post often. As nanaB says you are entitled to feel sorry for yourself.
I’ve found a few people that have hot the spot with their posts - even if not posting directly in response to me.
Take care
V
Dzyre so sorry you are having a bad time at the moment and i hope it improves for you quickly.so glad your son could come and be with you.Iunderstand your feeling of being alone and its not an easy place to be is it?I’ve also only cried once since dx 5 months ago.it was the day after i had seen the oncologist and i just broke down totally,all on my own.well after 2 and a half hours i was trying to pull myself together when a tv repair man came to the door.i had to let him in even though i looked a mess.i apologised and said i’m having a bad day just ignore me.'Have you got a cold?'he said.NO CANCER was my reply !!poor man but he did ask!only a man could think you would cry if you had a cold surely!! wishing you brighter times and we will fight this .t ake care d.enise
Thank you all for your lovely comments. I was just feeling really crap yesterday.
I want to thank each and everyone one of you for your hugs hands and spiritual words.
I am so glad I found the site - HOWEVER Its even better I found you all. (Took me some time to find out how to post lol)
Have a great and wonderful day
((((()))))) Hugs to you all
Hi Dzyre, hope you are feeling better today, I am quite a newbie had my surgery wednesday and am now playing the waiting game, the ladies on this site are absolutely wonderful, you have a very caring son there and he will help you through this. I wont say what i think about the guy who let you down.
Crying is good for you it relieves you of all that pent up emotions you are going to have your good days and bad days we all do there’s always lots of love and support on this site do come back and let us know how you are getting on.
Sitting watching the snow falling and glad i don’t have to go to work
big hugs to you 
Hi all.
Well I am a totally nutzo. One of my friends turned up today with a bunch of flowers and took me to the cinema and out for dinner tonight. So that is another day gone.
The snow is getting quite deep here. Even my footprints have disappeared. (Hope that is a sign!!!)
What does everyone have planned for the weekend?
Sandra
xx
Hi Sandra
Sounds like you’ve had a lovely day flowers cinema and a meal you’ve been spoilt and so you should, well I’ve been stuck in all day due to the snow I live at the bottom of a hill. Mind you it’s still early days from me op.
Hoping to go to milton keynes shopping tomorrow if the weather allows it and I feel ok, my son is building an igloo so id like to have a look and maybe go inside. The snow is leaves everything looking so clean and white until it starts to melt. What are your plans for the weekend?
Lyn x
Dzyre,
just wanted to add to all the above, glad you have got past the first day from that horrible experience, what a S**t,
and then you have had someone treat you right with dinner and the cinema.
it all makes you stronger, ad yes, you were right to get it out and be done with it, very brave too, and take all our love and virtual hugs, i have used this site since August and have been able to share so much,
Anne xxxx
Hi Sandra,
What has that man missed out on??? Idiot!!!
Good job your friends realise what a superb ‘asset’ you are as a friend. You totally deserve to be spoilt.
I have realised since my diagnosis how loved I am - it’s very humbling. I hope you feel the same love from all your friends and family.
I have no plans for the weekend other than enjoying the snow and getting out to walk. I hope you have a good weekend planned!!
Alison
I don’t have any plans at all. I guess i will walk to see my grandkids and get my own back on them throwing snowballs at the house this morning. They have to pass my house going to school. I have 2 sons one Ithe youngest) is very open and talks to me about the op and treatment all the time. The oldest is keeping it all in and hasn’t mentioned it once. I have told them both together dates and meds etc. I know my daughter in law says he is talking to her so that is good and I don’t want to interfere and tell him I know.
Hi Dzyre
By now, you’ve probably realised you have joined a fabulour sisterhood. It’s such a shame there is so much s**t that has to go with it. I hope you had a great time with your grandkids and managed to get your own back on them.
I’ve had a real ‘veg out’ day today, got up late and ate all the wrong foods. OH just bought in a box of Roses, so I’ve nicked all the caramel one.
All the very best for your ‘treatment’ and whatever it involves. Big hugs.
pg xxx
Hi Poems
I had a good weekend. I didn’t get out with the kids but ended up going a walk round the local fields. Took the camera and the dogs it was good to get out for a couple of hours. Saturday night a friend stayed over we had chinese and wine. I have still got boxes/tubs of chocolate left over from Christmas. Think I will donate them to the nurses. I’m supposed to be going away on the 22nd march but the treatment as put paid to that - was just a boozy weekend to Ireland but not sure as or when treatment will start.
How is everyone today? Have you all had a good weekend?
Sandra
xxx
Hi Sandra,
Sounds like you had a perfect weeked takeaway, wine, choccies and with a friend to thats my kinda weekend. Makes a nice change from the cr-p we are all going through. Don’t give up on your weekend in March you may be able to fit it in with treatments…I defo keep that top of my list! I had a quiet weekend due to the snow, couldn’t get up the hill so had a duvet weekend with plenty of southern comfort :)) Good luck with treatment. Poems shame on you for not sharing the roses with us! hope you had a good weekend too!
Lyn xxx
I think I had a pretty good weekend. i’ve been asked to go to see an Irish band this weekend so I might just do that. I was at the hospital for a diff matter yesterday- Rheumatology hip and knee hurting a lot, xray say wear and tear. Then the doctor was talking about my anaemia I’ve had several doses of anaemia last year and just finished taking 6 iron tablets a day and 2 vitamin D tablets. She sent me for a blood test for Celiac disease. Looking on the bright side so far I am not allergic to Vodka or chocolate lol
Dzyre. You had a lucky escape and that man wasn’t good enough for you. Look to the future where there will be a better and kinder man waiting for you,
Louisa x
Hope it all goes well for you Dzyre.Had to laugh at your comment about the vodka and chocolate.My tipple too.
I am 2years on from my diagnosis.Thankfully the check up this month was ok and instead of 6 monththy checks its yearly now abouth a month after the anual mammogram.
Go on your weekend if you can.When I was diagnosed I had a holiday booked to Cyprus for a month going 4 days after diagnosis.
You can imagine the state I was in but still went on the holiday.It does get better!xxxx
You are all so nice and your comments are so wonder and inspriring. I’ve read a few other posts on here. Everyone is so inspiring and thoughtful. I am so glad I found the site and more important than that is that I found all you lovely people.
I phoned the insurance company and if I exempt my medical conditions I can get insurance arghh. But I have to exempt everything. ie asthma
Oh well - so I have to exempt everything and still get away. 2 days insurance is £13 (not that I have my E111 )
Anyway How is everyone this evening? (them that are not watching tv awards that is lol) then again I’m watching it so ok how is everyone lol
As always
xxx