Hi - I posted this afternoon, but can’t actually see my post anywhere at all now, so here I am with the same questions and I apologise if my original post is on here and I’m repeating myself!
I’ve recently been diagnosed with DCIS and am due to have a mastectomy with reconstruction (is that a DIEP? I’m hopeless with all the names). My original post asked about the the bras and corsets I have been told to get for after surgery - and the fact that the corsets truly look like instruments of torture rather than something that might make me feel better. They also seem really quite expensive - and unfortunately I work freelance and have been unable to pick up much work recently as every time I have secured a contract, I’ve ended up with an associated hospital appointment (or my SNB) and have had to bow out - I can’t afford to waste money on the wrong thing, or on something that doesn’t help or is far too uncomfortable to wear. Are these garments easy (and quick) to wash and dry?
I am also wondering if anyone could tell me whether I am likely to need help at home once I am discharged. My 25 year old son will be staying with me and is ok to make a cuppa for me and make me something to eat if I don’t feel up to it - but will I need any help with drains or such, or are these removed before I leave hospital? I know I should have asked the BC nurse, but I think I have been in denial for alotof the time and now my op is iminent, it’s starting to hit home.
Also, did anyone here just want to be by themselves after surgery? I seem to have had to act all fine and dandy when inside I don’t exactly feel fine and dandy. Just admitting that makes me feel a real horror, as I know I am so lucky to have caught it early when other people are in a terrible position compared to me. I had a little wobble today and my son told me to stop the self-pity, which has made me feel worse.
I’ve been divorced for a long time - my ex husband was verbally and at time physically abusive - and it did (and still does, if I’m honest) affect my confidence, but I had never given up hope that one day I would find someone truly lovely - and I guess I’m thinking that it probably will never happen now.
Maybe my son is right, and I just need to stop the self-pity, but I promise I have tried to feel positive thoughts every day through all this - I’ve just had a rare dip today.
Hi Lizzy ,I saw your post earlier ,but you are right it seems to have disappeared ! You are totally entitled to feel vulnerable and fed up ,.its a big op and a scary time .Your son is being rather unsympathetic ,but I’m afraid it’s very hard for anyone who has not experienced this to understand .Yes you will need practical help for a few days after op,in some areas MacMillan have volunteers that will come and help with practical stuff.Ps there is life after breast cancer ,don’t right yourself off ,you may well still find happiness ,boobs are not the only thing that attracts a nice fella !!!
Hi Lizzy, I had DCIS diagnosed Jan 2015 and had a left side mx and recon immediately with mesh and implant. Mine wasn’t diep but I took 8.5 weeks before I was ready for a phased return to work so be prepared to take it very steady. I had someone with me for the first week all the time but after that you can potter and make drinks etc. You do have drains for the first week but a district nurse calls to check on you. On the positive side 2.5 years on I am fully recovered, running, playing badminton and apart from taking tamoxifen, I no longer think about the bc all the time, it’s always at the back of your mind but it does stop dominating! Good luck! Xx
I think your first post was titled a bit of advice on masectomey wear - I did repsond. But just to let you know that I found this group a great support and yes you do have your down days but the anticipation is often worse than the reality. Dont be a hero either in pain control or accepting help, it goes against the grain, but accept all help, physical and emotional. You will find friends that pop in want to be helpful so let them make the cuppa and perhaps pick up some groceries for you on the way. It will make them feel good and save you the effort, giving you energy to do something you prefer. After a month I started a pink ribbon pilate class, which is geared for ‘us’ ladies and is great, makes you feel normal, gets you out of the house, doesnt focus on what you cant do, but what you can and I find it both physically and mentally helpful. good luck
BTW I had a full masectomy and immediate silicon reconstruction and had a drain for a week after back home, driving after 4 weeks, working (just a bit of computer etc. work) a few hours a week after 6 weeks then increased as able - I was very tired so just listen to your body, its clever! After 12 weeks with consultants ok flew to India for a previously planned holiday. Only then did it all sink in and I had time to sort my head out…
Really sorry for the ramble, but I found any advice useful and others experiences something to use or not - take your choice