I have recently been diagnosed with Invasive ductal breast cancer (NST) grade 2/3. My surgeon has told me surgery, radiotherapy and hormone therapy is the way we are going at this moment in time, but this could change when pathology report comes back after hormone receptor , HER2 and lymph nodes have all been tested.
I have breast conserving surgery 14/11/18 I am numb, motionless and still cannot believe what is going on in my life, is this normal? I cannot sleep or cry, I just feel BLANK . Thank you for taking the time to read this xx
I’m new to this forum too.
I had surgery 2 months ago and still feel numb and a bit blank.
I had the all clear 3 weeks after my op but felt very deflated.
Your feelings are perfectly normal, wishing you well with your surgery, waiting for the op was the worst part of all of this for me,
Lorraine xx
Hi Nana J
Yes, it’s surreal isn’t it? There’s the world going about its business just as usual but yours has been turned on its head and it’s like being in a bubble or behind a screen. I remember it well, as will pretty well everyone on here i imagine. I thought I was abnormal because I’d heard that people break down when they get a cancer diagnosis and i didn’t, and was more as you describe, as in numb and proactive (“let’s clean the house and get the logs in before the op” sort of thing) but I realised that we all cope in our own way and there isn’t a “right way”.
After a week or so it all sort of sinks in and when you have a treatment plan you’ll be good to go.
My diagnosis was 2 years ago this month - same as you - invasive ductal, - so had lumpectomy, radiotherapy and am on the hormone meds, and to be honest I recovered far more quickly that I could have believed. Have had my second annual mammogram this month and all goood.
You’ll be fine, and this forum is a handy source of advice and support. X
Thank you Lorraine H and Optimissy64
So I am not a feelingless freak, your news is fantastic and encouraging. Only 3 days to go on the plus side I am first down for surgery surgeon told me ofcourse that is if there is a plus side ?? Sending Big Huggs xxx
No your definitely not a emotionless freak Nanna J! I didn’t cry at diagnosis and never have done over myself, initially I was just numb and thought it was game over, lost all interest in life and thought what’s the point. Of course that wasn’t the case at all but it’s all a learning curve.
Then the anger came and I was raging at what was happening to my lovely life, I couldn’t even be trusted to walk around our local supermarket as I could have shut someone’s head in a freezer at any moment!!
There is no rule book that says how we should cope, I think a lot of us go in to shock initially and feeling numb is a self preservation setting, you will find as the weeks pass and you know your exact treatment plan you will begin to feel more like your old self again, hope all goes well with your op Xx Jo
Hi Jobey68
This made me chuckle to myself as you are talking about me, that’s exactly how I am feeling, as for the supermarket bit that’s coming as I have come off HRT patches and I already don’t give a s—t what people say or do and tell them because I cannot hold back ???.
Last day of normality tomorrow so going to take my sole mate/husband for afternoon tea - now he is another topic of conversation but not going there yet. Sending big Huggs xxx
Haha you and me both!! I’ve never been one to hold back but now there is even less hope ? Hubby took to marching me out of Asda on many occasions before I started launching tins of beans at people I can tell you! I was pretty vile ?
Heading in to menopause now with no chance of taking HRT so watch this space… ??
Please keep in touch jobey68
You are the only one making me smile at the moment . We are alike I say it as it’s is if you don’t like it either don’t ask or tell me ??. I am 54 and when I reached 50 overnight I just could not hold back and now I think if you are really that stupid well you know the rest ??. Makes life interesting anyway . Sending big Huggs xxx
Hi Strawberry
Thank you for those words of encouragement, I think that’s what it is I don’t feel ill but I know I am going to be if that makes sense?? Sending you big Huggs and thanks again xxx