I too find this difficult to cope with. I had a dmx, 15 chemo and 25 radio. I am now on hormone therapy. At 79 with a handicapped husband, I struggle but I am a tough old bird. I don’t want sympathy, just a little understanding not endless diatribes about how others had had similar treatments and were now fighting fit. Almost implying, blame. I’m pleased for them, I genuinely am, but wish people would realise that not all cancers are the same and recovery can sometimes be long and debilitating.
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I hear you…one of my very good friends told me just after I got the news my planned lumpectomy was changed to a mastectomy
" Oh a woman at work had that was back at her desk within 2 weeks and is absolutely fine" I was soooo angry I had to walk away.
They mean well but it’s so bloody insensitive, they have no idea how it feels to be terrified of dying, and funnily enough I didn’t feel brilliant 2 weeks after my mastectomy!
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It is all part of the recovery process. Right now you just owe yourself kindness and compassion more than anyone else. It is inconvenient but do not feel guilty about it , self love is most important. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
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Can totally relate to this, I’m currently going through chemo after a lumpectomy and lymph node clearance. My sister keeps giving me examples of others who have recovered and are absolutely fine no problems, I feel like when I share the side affects of chemo they think I’m just loaning as it is something that’s expected and I should just get on with it.
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I’m the same at the moment I just can’t be bothered with people moaning about headaches etc,was chatting to a relative at a recent wedding this was before my chemo I had recovered from breast surgery, she very high blood pressure and was extremely worried for her life and there’s me telling her how I’ve got to go through chemo and radiotherapy yet. Didn’t know to laugh at her or smack her lol.
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I’m sorry but your husband should remember what you had was life threatening, and be grateful that you’ve beaten this disease. And maybe he needs to be reminded of what you went through. But what your feeling is absolutely normal and I’m the same you can’t compare cancer to other little things like the flue or a headache.
I have found this website so very helpful. My heart goes out to all the ladies who have really suffered, I feel so lucky as I sailed through my lymph node removal, lumpectomy, excision & only had minor side effects from radiotherapy, itchy rash & skin burn, all gone now. I still suffer from fatigue, but am fortunate to be 76, so do not have to work. Every cancer is different & I chose not to take Tamoxifen because of my age & to enjoy feeling well. Friends & family seem to have accepted I am ‘cured’, although I live with the fear of a recurrence & secondary cancer every day, it never goes away, hearing how well other people are doing doesn’t really help as they are not me. My brother was diagnosed with cancer last year & has had chemo & really suffered, but he has fought it & is now in remission. I look at him & feel so lucky. I’m trying to think positively, & not spend every day worrying, if the cancer comes back I will have to cope that I may not be as lucky next time, so I’m living for today & ignoring people who have a sleepless night or a headache. Well done to all of us on this website, I was so shocked just how many ladies get breast cancer & so young too.
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100% I agree. I have had the same sensitivity problem with mealy mouth people that have little issues. I have no compassion or patience for complaining, whining people after I’ve been through chemo radiation surgery people to and I think I’m going through the angry stage. I hope I get through it.
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Sympathy and empathy take so much energy. I used to be good at it, but with all this treatment going on I find I have to use all my energy for myself to stay sane.
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