I’ve been for my dye injection
I’ve packed my bag
I’m resting
I’m hydrating the best I can. Aldi do a nice apple and pear squash and I’ve been having it with hot water.
My surgery is in the morning and I’m looking forward to being home cancer free in the evening at the latest.
I’m sitting with my legs up and my cat sleeping on them!
I feel excited… let’s get this done.
They say to try new things in the new year.
I am so very thankful for people who chose to work in hospitals. I’m thankful for all the people who had cancer before me so they could make changes in treatment to make this a cureable disease. I thank you for your support and for joining in my posts and enjoying the sense of humour I have by adding to them.
So today - if you have a specific song… if you would like to add it so I can make a Spotify playlist for recovery help.
Sending hugs back to all you wonderful ladies wherever you are in this chapter.
We can’t decide how our lives go, we can decide how we react to them.
I’ve written a letter to my breasts/ boobs and told them they aren’t new boobs… it’s like going to the hairdressers it isn’t new hair. Just a new style.
So here goes…
I forgot to add the song that is getting me through
It is
I am healing by Danty_Lwanga and I am aware it is AI but the lyrics are still real.
This is such a wonderful, wonderful post @hen and I really needed to read it today. That excited and nervous feeling that you are taking action! And it is such a huge step to take on this road to recovery.
Wishing you all the best for tomorrow
My song is a song called Wicker Woman by Freya Ridings.
I was lucky enough to be at a secret gig of hers in London because a friend of mine won tickets. It was only a few days after my first biopsies and I didnt think I had the strength to go. My chest hurt so much and as far as I was concerned I was full of cancer and on my death bed (those horrible dramatic anxiety thoughts) but I went and it was wonderful. I didnt realise until after the words in this song were so relevant to me. It felt like a gift.
I still get emotional listening to it but it still gives me strength
Good luck @hen, you will be fine and in the hands of experts. Very shortly the cancer will be gone and your wonderful, positive attitude will see you through recovery and beyond.
edit: re a song, obviously I have no idea what you enjoy but I’m a big Paul Weller fan and he recently released a cover of a song by an Irish musician called Eamon Friel called ‘El Dorado’. It is a simple song about seizing the day “let’s dance, romance, find el dorado in the mountains of the moon, no tears, no fears - you pay the piper, you call the tune”. The acoustic guitar backing sounds like aural lace. Just a suggestion.
@hen what a wonderful post
I felt similarly excited and positive before my DIEP surgery - I just wanted the cancer gone, and to get back to living!
Wishing you the best of luck tomorrow and sending hugs x
My song nomination is ‘Here Comes the Sun’ by The Beatles- it still makes me cry with happiness when I listen to it - it’s how I felt when I recovered from my surgery.
Thank you added x well done you for going when you didn’t want to. It isn’t easy to do. I know! I did much of that in the summer… turning up in situations when life is really feeling rock bottom is actually one of the best gifts you can give yourself even if it doesn’t feel
Like it at the time or is as you planned.
We walk a line of diagnosis, but must live our lives to the best we can in that moment and that in itself fluctuates. Because it is all we have. The present
X
Wishing you all the very best for tomorrow .By the evening you will be back at home enjoying a cuppa with your feet up resting .
My mum who is 88 loved Andy Williams and especially a song called “ Can’t Take My Eyes Off You “ . When I was waiting for my op yesterday it came on the radio in the waiting room and I took that as a sign I wasn’t alone .. Maybe you could add that to your playlist ?
Sending you lots of love for tomorrow , please let me know how you get on xxx
I didn’t have a song for myself though I did find myself to the ‘Sad folk’ playlist on Spotify when I was in the thick of it - diagnostic work up, changing plan and chemo and targeted therapy before my double mastectomies with immediate reconstruction.
On the day of surgery I felt a sense of calm. The disease that could kill me was being removed.
I felt grateful for routine mammograms, for the diligent eye of the two radiologists who woukd have reviewed my imaging, for the skills of the pathologist who looked at my biopsies under the microscope and for the kindness of the Doctor who was left to give me the bad news. I was thankful for the surgeon who succinctly but gently imparted more bad news three more times as they garnered information to make a plan specifically for me. I was grateful for those before me who joined clinical trials in order that we have chemo and targeted therapies which have given me the chance of living a longer life. I appreciate just how fortunate I am to have been born in an age that we have treatment for BC, for the cancer pathways, for the healthcare professionals I’ve met in my 80 or so cancer related appts I’ve attended over the last 15 months and for the NHS as a whole. It’s not perfect but the majority of those within in it work hard and do their best by us. I am biased because tomorrow marks the day of my 38th year in the nursing profession.
I am grateful that my surgeon chose their speciality and did a brilliant job creating my symmetrical replacements. For whoever or whatever inspired them to choose medicine as a career and for those who supported and taught them over the years. When I returned for my pathology results they said ‘fantastic news. A complete pathological response to the chemo.’ No cancer seen in either breast. Completely dissolved by the chemo and no lymph node involvement. I could have given them a hug but I don’t think it would have been the right thing to do! I let out an audible phew and my husband cried. How good they must have felt to share good news for a change. After a check of my wounds I said that I was actually in awe of my 56 year old body as it had got me through it all despite it letting me down and putting me in the situation to start with. I forgave it for that!
I’ve thought of a song…My lovely Mum had Parkinson’s and osteoarthritis. She went into hospital mobile with a zimmer frame aged 64 to have her kneecap removed. She ended up having a knee replacement instead. Was doing well at rehab placement then the other knee played up and she so she needed another knee replacement. Whilst this was going on my wonderful Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer so had surgery and chemo. My mum was in hospital for a total of 46 weeks. She had gone from someone who was fiercely independent to never walking again and needing assistance with all personal care. She was scared of how Dad would perceive her and if he would still love her as so much of her had changed. He was a man who loved deeply but could not speak about emotions. I told him how she was feeling and on his next visit he presented her with a CD along with the printed lyrics of the song on the disc. Billy Joel - Just the Way You Are
Having just listened to the song I’ve decided it’s the song I gift to myself
For me acceptance of what has happened and what I have to endure to get through each day has been key to my recovery. I’ve found humour in the darkness, joy in the mundane and have allowed myself space to wallow as it’s been brutal, unkind and life changing. A year on I am still having active treatment. Two remaining. I’ll not be ringing any bells. I will be sloping off quietly!
Hope you come to post op in a euphoric state like I did. It was a relief that ‘it’ had gone. I was so thrilled I was awake all night!
I hope that you’re having a peaceful sleep right now but I have to say this is a great idea.
The music and particularly the lyrics of This Is The Sea by The Waterboys have inspired me and helped me through some hard times over the years .
I’ve also found Nina Simone to be very comforting to listen to - however you are feeling she has a song for that . I don’t have problems dropping off these days but in the past when I was struggling she never failed to lull me to sleep. And if you’re feeling good then the song of the same name says it all.
It’s funny you mention you were in a euphoric state after coming round because I was exactly the same. The nurses would come round and say “how are we doing?” and I’d announced that I was “grrreat!!” in a Tony the Tiger kind of way.
Thank you Hen and all of the other ladies who replied. What an amazingly positive thread, I have never known the like. My suggested song despite it being late in the day is Future Past by Duran Duran. When I first heard the lyrics they hit me like a ton of bricks. Mindful, insightful and poignant. But, like me, realistic and honest. Painfully so. I shall now go and listen to other tracks that ha e been suggested esp Freya Ridings. Thank you ladies, from the bottom of my heart. Ps I was also euphoric after my 2nd mastectomy from the anaesthetists choice of meds. Our surgeon said she had not worked with him before but was delighted with the results. I secretly choos to believe it included a touch of ‘recreational’ ‘medications with a wink and a smile
@hen I currently have 2 chemos left to go (5 down), so surgery in March and have been saying I am weirdly excited for surgery as it will mark chemo being done and the cancer being taken out of my body and I thought that was an odd thing to think and say but reading your post you get it!
My song of choice has been for all hard times and especially this time: ‘Not Giving In’, by Rudimental (feat John Newman)’
Wonderful posts and I sincerely wish you a speedy recovery. One thing that tickled me was being asked during radiotherapy if I’d like to listen to some music. Yes please! Imagine what I thought when the first song was Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen!!
My go to song has been You’ve Got to Be There sung by Susan Boyle.
x
added x well done you for going when you didn’t want to. It isn’t easy to do. I know! I did much of that in the summer… turning up in situations when life is really feeling rock bottom is actually one of the best gifts you can give yourself even if it doesn’t feel
