Hi, so far I’ve managed myself quite well after the initial, awful couple of weeks. MRI found two more areas of concern, I was rebiopsed, and had been waiting patiently for results appointment number two this morning. I spent an hour earlier trying to get through to someone at the breast unit that would not only answer a phone but deal with what I was asking, not transfer me to somewhere that then didn’t answer. My elderly dog is in a bad way, I know I need to have her put to sleep now, after a long 24hrs it’s become painfully obvious she’s not going to cope with her new decrease in functioning (seems to have a tumour in the brain, it is thought). She’s nearly 14, had her from a puppy, I’m so devastated. So I’m trying to get them to do my cancer appointment on the phone because I can’t leave my dying dog alone for hours while I go to the hospital, which is a real low. Also last night my 11 yr old daughter had to move out the way of a car and fell in a stinging nettle clump, and the car just drove off and left her - she’s badly stung but ok this morning and I just can’t stop thinking about that too. Also a bit concerned as I thought I’d be operated on by Easter but didn’t realise they would start the waiting for an operation slot from the appointment to discuss the surgery, so they’ve said another four weeks from that now rearranged appointment, which is a long time from finding the lump mid-feb.
I know I need to reframe my thoughts. The breast nurse just rang and the other areas of concern have come back as a fibroadenoma and just a benign non-concern, which is of course a huge relief. My dog has had a great long life with me. My daughter didn’t get hit by a car. I just needed to do the poor me bit, thanks for reading if you made it this far, it’s really helped to put it all down somewhere xxxx
Life can be really sh!t sometimes. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rubbish time. I think you’re doing great, you’re feeling your feelings which is really important and you can also see the small positive glimmers. Lots of strength & healing to you x
@floss - you are in the right place for venting and you’ve every right to be feeling the way you do .
It’s hard enough dealing with a cancer diagnosis without being faced with having to put your darling doggie to sleep
Waiting for surgery is nail biting , I know I went to my gp on 8th July , saw the breast clinic on the 23rd , got an initial diagnosis on the 7th August and had to come back for further biopsies with a final diagnosis on the 27th August . I was a mess , convinced that during this time the cancer was going on an all you eat buffet throughout my body , but it’s not the case . Time seems to move very slowly until you start treatment , then things move quickly . I was told my trust had to carry out surgery within 30 days from final diagnosis and I had my op on 23rd November which was eight weeks from when I was seen in clinic .
You should most likely get your surgery date anytime soon x In the meantime please don’t hesitate to contact the BCN nurses to talk about your concerns
Calls are free from all UK landlines and mobiles. To make sure everyone can contact us we have access to a telephone interpreting service, in over 240 languages, and the Relay UK - prefix is 18001
If the helpline is closed, you can leave us a message with your name and number. We’ll call you back as soon as we’re next open.
If you have a question but prefer to receive the information in writing, you can email our nurses instead.
Life is shit sometimes, its definetly feels like all “shits” that can happen at once happen at once. My most bizzare words to my phycotherapist were: “I wish I was preprared more for it?” And she was like: how can you be prepared for cancer?
But we are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves!!! We are going through shit. On an outside im fucking miss positive, but yesterday when friend asked about side effect of my chemo I literary wrote a list of what I have and let me tell you mine its sucks no matfer how well I manage it.
Im sorry to hear about your doggy, no matter what its a fanily mrmber you will miss dearly and im sending you huge hugs. Thst snot sometime you should be dealing right now either.
Cancer is raraly fair, its frustrating and its a huge shit storm of your life. One thing I try ro remind myself, a year from now, i will be ok and remember how strong I was to go through this shit. How im going to be spening time with my family at Christmas cause they are in different country and I can’t see them till im fully recovered due to infection risk.
Not sure my rant is helpfull either. But hang in there. Senging hugs
That was a tiny rant!! What a day you have had - so sorry about your dog - it’s a heartbreaking situation on top of everything else - and your poor daughter stingy beetles are hell. You are doing the right thing letting it out here that’s what we are here for. Sending you lots of positive vibes and love xx
Thanks everyone. My dog was put to sleep yesterday and I’m so devastated, the house is dead - she was the second to die of two that I had from puppies. I’ve actually brought myself a new book on cancer to take my mind off it, which is a bit grim in itself! (Recommend it - Liz O’Riordan Roadmap to Cancer) xxx
Floss2 sending so sorry to hear about your dog I hope the many beautiful memories of the hours you had with both dogs over the years give you comfort in time knowing that they gad wonderful lives with you Shi xx
Hi Floss2 I’m so sorry you’re having such a tough time it’s bad enough the waiting then life’s traumas cause more stress , keep your chin up honey and stay strong, you will get through this.
Have a rant and clear your head and please be kind to yourself
It’s a tough journey , it’s difficult also as there is problems with the NHS sadly sometimes lack of communication between departments and shortage of oncologists, but things are improving .
I hope your Daughter is ok and bless your Doggie it’s hard as they are our family sending lots of love and positive vibes take care lovely XXX Nikk’s
I understand about not wanting to leave dog, I was like that with my cat once I knew she might not have long. My small town has a Good Neighbour Scheme, who’ll collect prescriptions or do food shopping, etc. It’s not much I know, but might your nurse be able to look into things for you?
Thank you @bellas, I was stuck just for that appointment and it was too late to do anything about it. I had to have her put to sleep the day after. My house is extraordinarily still now
So sorry to read you post, the loss of your dog is heartbreaking I loss my little Clemmie just over a year ago she was the sweetest little dog. They take you to another place, which you don’t always go, and also meeting others on walks.
I do hope your treatment gets sorted out. health and happiness ahead. Thinking of you with the biggest hugs
Arty1 
so sorry to hear about your dog 
I hope the many beautiful memories of the hours you had with both dogs over the years give you comfort in time knowing that they gad wonderful lives with you 
I loss my little Clemmie just over a year ago she was the sweetest little dog. They take you to another place, which you don’t always go, and also meeting others on walks.
