Hi Alice
Just want to repeat what Trish has said really, also you just miss Trish, Shonaugh and me really LOL. Good luck for Wednesday and dont forget we are here if you need us - the Four Muskateers!!!
Sending love and hugs also love to Trish and Shonaugh as well
Karen
XXX
Beautifully said Karen. I think after all this we four should aim to meet up in real life. I’ll be the one with bald head, half an eyebrow, three sparse eyelashes (I’ll make sure I put mascara on all three) and grey looking skin.
Take care all and much love to Shonaghxxx Hope you are getting life back on track.
trish
Hi Trish
Me thinks me and you gonna look like twins but dont tell Alice and Shonaugh they maybe put off meeting us with our new look LOL!!!
Karen
XXX
LOL : ) and hugs all round.
Hi Alice, so pleased to hear that you picked up the phone and made the appointment - I’ll be thinking of you on Wednesday. As for myself, this morning I noticed that the rash that I’ve had for a few weeks on my infected/reconstructed breast appeared to have spread and while I was intending to say something to the nurse today when I had my last dose of epirubicin (half way through the chemo now - yippee!), my OH said something to the nurse on my behalf while I was in the loo instead - which while I could have found irritating was a relief to me instead. Perhaps if my worry about my other breast increases he’ll make the appointment for me without me knowing too - and I’ll just wake up a week later to be told the results without having to go through the agonising period of waiting for them! As for the rash, the doctor said she didn’t think it was anything to worry about (she wasn’t very convincing) and said that it appeared superficial (they won’t commit themselves to anything) and gave me some cream which should clear it up in the next day or two but told me to get back to them if it hasn’t cleared. Fingers crossed, its nothing!
All the best on Wednesday.
Naz
Hi there ladies,
Glad to hear your appointment has arrived Alice but really sorry you had to make it in the first place.
I had an oncologist appointment on Monday, the usual lie back and get them out but he seemed quite happy with everything, I did get a bit concerned when he went behind me to feel my lymph nodes i and put both hands round my neck, I thought he was going to throttle me but just the way he does it I suppose. He is a lovely man and it makes me feel so much better that I see the main man every time.
Karen thanks for the good wishes, I got them on time and the good vibes must have worked as I was sent off on my merry little way with another appointment time for September. I seem to have one every 8 weeks or so with either the onc or the consultant (got one with him on 23rd June) is that normal?? or are they just keen at my clinic. Not that I’m complaining, its nice to know they are keeping an eye out.
Trish, are you still over in Macclesfield or are you managing to get home between chemos. Just give me a shout if you fancy some company, if I’m on earlies I finish work at 1pm.
I am just getting on with things I suppose, this week is my first full week back but as itwas an early shift I was finished at 1pm so have made the most of the lovely weather and been baking in the garden with my factor 50. I have been harrassed into doing something for my birthday this week (not my birthday this week, just the harrassing part) I’m 40 at the end of June and everyone has been getting on my case about doing something. I’m not really the party kind of person (love going to and throwing other peoples but not keen on them for myself) so we have booked 4 nights in London with a show and a champagne flight on the London Eye. So at least people will stop hassling me now. I know they mean well but its just notfor me. I may have a family BBQ if the weather holds up and do some lunches with friends but I’m not sure what all the fuss is about just because ther is a zero on the end of your age. As far as I’m concerned any birthday I have from now on I will just be grateful and thankful I’m here regardless of how old I am.
Well got to go, I’ve got the most awful back ache today, all round my hips where my spine meets my hips, not sure if its atamoxifen side effect or just my dodgy back problem, either way ibulieve isnt touching it!!!
Hope you are all feeling the benefits of the better weather. Love to all of you and Alice dont beat yourself up about feeling low, I may sound all chipper in print but believe me I still have those midnight times when my thoughts just wont leave it alone. I suppose one day we wont think about it but will we notice we havent and when we do does that mean we are thinking about it. ARRGGGGHHH!!!
Be kind to yourselves ladies, you deserve it. Shonagh xx
Hi Ladies
Where has the sunshine gone? Thanks again for your support as usual.
Very pleased Naz that you have a very supportive(although devious) OH (in a good way) Why do we find it so difficult to ask questions about things that are worrying us, surely we are more foolish to not do anything. So having said that Naz, re your other breast, don’t put things off and ask!
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Well only a day to go, have thought about cancelling appointment with clinic, but really need to get it out of the way don’t I. One thing is clear this whole thing this year just does not go away from headspace! In fact can really do your head in and my treatment had been a breeze really.
I find it quite difficult to post not sure why, state of mind I think. Will start a post then delete and so on and so forth.
How are you all getting on?
Hoping the weather will get better by the end of the week for the half term break.
Hi Alice,
I agree with you. I think the mental anguish is something that doesn’t seem to get the recognition it deserves. I know from my own experience that sharing the turmoil and jumble of thoughts which whirl round my head is difficult. Family and friends will share my talk on treatment with me but when it comes to sharing my fears I can see the uncomfortable shift in body language. I think when I bring up my fear of cancer returning , mortality, death etc I am somehow tapping into their own fears. Fear is a powerful emotion and so often I find people prefer to give practical advice on how to cope instead of just being there and listening.so I can understand exactly where you’re coming from(especially as a teacher, we were trained to be in charge, know what to do and not appear dithering wrecks)
The rational part of you knows getting your lump checked is the right thing to do but the small child in you is terrified of what may or may not be found and doesn’t want to know hence the turmoil. Is there anyone who could go with you and give you supprot? I know it may not seem to help much but we are all there for you and if I was nearer I would come with you hold your hand. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Keep posting and sharing
Take care
Much love
Trish
Hi Alice,
Just a quick message to say hope the appointment goes well and to say I will be sending out good thoughts and prayers for you.
The weather over here isnt too bad, sunny and cloudy but dry at least. Its supposed to brighten up tomorrow so fingers crossed.
I’m so sorry you are having such a tough time at the minute, I’m not sure how much of me being ok is the dusolepin (yes I’m back on it after my oncologist and gp sent off to a research centre who confirmed its SSRI’s not tricyclics that interact with the tamoxifen) or If I am in denial and its all going to bite me on the bum one day.
Dont worry about posting we will still be here for you, just give us a shout.
Love and hugs to everyone Shonagh xx
Good luck for today Alice, I will be keeping everything crossed for you and will be holding your hand in spirit.
Sending love and hugs
Karen
XXX
I’ll be thinking of you too, Alice.
lots of love, Naz
Alice
we will all be with there with you in spirit.
Much love
Trish
Hi Ladies thanks for all your lovely posts, it makes me feel more normal and supported.
So far so good I think, doc said she could feel there is something there, probably nothing to worry about but ultrasound tomorrow morning, hopefully will make me feel less anxious. She was very sweet, and did not make me feel as though I was wasting the clincs time. So more waiting, but not long. Alicex
Alice you should never feel like you are wasting the docs time, thats is what they are there for. Good luck today with your scan everything corssed for you and with you again in spirit. Let us know how you get on.
Sending love and hugs
Karen
XXX
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All the best for the ultrasound today Alice, will be thinking of you.
Magsi x
Ultrasound just showed a lot of little cysts, (funny they did not look the same as the other cyst, but I trust he knew what he was looking at) doc said they were nothing to worry about, He said if I now found anything new then I should have it checked again. He did his job, he was very matter of fact, he did not make me feel that at ease but all fine. I think I now have to accept I will feel insecure for some time to come, as we all do don’t we. thanks and love Alicex
Thats really good news Alice, although I expect it will take time to fully sink in.
I expect like me you are on half term next week, doing anything exciting or going anywhere nice?