I think I am coping well

I have posted this on behalf of new user lizaw
Kind Regards

I had WLE 4 days ago for high grade DCIS in my left breast. I go for the results of that next week and then on for radiotherapy.
I have been reading the forums and me heart goes out to all the people going through the various stages of this.
I thought i would write because … well I appear to be coping very well… and that has confused me. If you had told me a few weeks ago that I would be going through this I would have imagined be falling to bits, but I seem to have developed a fatalistic attitude, a kind of ‘que sera sera’ approach to it all. I trust the medical and nursing staff and have had not reason to doubt that I am receiving the best treatment.
Am I in denial? I have a 2 and a 4 year old, am I just ignoring my emotions for them. A counsellor friend told me my feelings would have to come out at some point. Not sure.
Anyway just thought i would check if people thought i was normal??!!

You are completely ‘Normal’. I too have young children. Survival instincts come into play here. Having very young children you are used to ‘coping’ and meddling along. Just another hiccup … You might become upset later, who knows. I have coped very well, two ops (mastectomy in the end) next Tuesday will be my last chemo then five weeks of rads. I only really got upset about two months ago (half way through chemo) when it really hit me, feeling sorry for myself…
Keep coping, positive thinking is a brilliant thing.
love Vanessa

Hi Liza,

You can only be where you are at now. We are all different as you will have discovered reading the forums. I must admit I got a bit tired of people telling me the reality would hit me eventually. Yes, I even got that from a Breast Care Nurse when I didn’t react to news of recurrence! Well I have been waiting for 18 years now for it to ‘hit me’. Have been thru many chemos, surgeries, secondaries etc… but as I said - we are all different.


Hi Liza,

I’ve only just started using this forum again although did have a little look when I was first diagnosed (October 07) Like you I was fine thought right then lets get on with it. I think it amazed my consultant when I just sat smiling when he was telling me my results I just kept saying “ok then” I must admit I did have a little cry around 24 hours later.

Today however I feel very much different just fed up with it all and quite emotional, I’m half way through my rads now and I am just fed up with this controlling my life. As i said to the nurse today I just want my life back. So its not that I have cancer that is upsetting me it the fact that I have lost control over my life. Well for now anyway I’m sure I’ll feel very different in the morning.

Good Luck with everything

Hi All,
I can relate to what Joanne is saying. I think a) we are so programmed to smile and be polite, that we carry on doing that (well, I do) and b) I was so desperately grateful to be in the same room as someone who really knew what they were talking about, I was just lapping up my onc’s words! I too felt I was coping abnormally in the first few weeks. I think there is an element of being in shock, so you just carry on. And there’s so much to organise practically, you just go into supermum overdrive. Yes it did catch up with me later on, at various points. Don’t worry about it. As others have said, you just have to be as you are at any given moment (often it’s needle moments that send me into tears - that’s when I think ‘I want my mummy!’)
All the very best with your results and treatment
Jacquie x

Hi Lizaw

The week after I was dx I went on a 4 day sea kayaking trip on the west coast of scotland in Nov (bbbrrrrrrrrrrr)… It was brilliant. I had surgery when I got back.

I can echo the feelings of some others in that I’m just tired of not being able to do what I want to do. I haven’t been able to do my job properly and I’m scared of getting lymphoedema, which my BC nurse says is the least of my worries. I just really want my life back, without all the complications. And I realise I’m lucky to have a life to look forward to at the minute, but to be honest quality of life is important to me too.

Rant over


Thanks everyone
I suppose you do just do what you do. This morning (5 days after op) i was feeling guilty for not being at work!! Hopefully i will carry on as i am but i suppose i should just be aware that i may not always feel this positive, it is early days.


Hi Liz,

hope all is going ok after your op. I know what you mean about the guilt thing before my diagnosis I had a very busy stressfull job which took up most of my time. I have made the decision not to go back to work until after all my treatment. At times I feel quite guilty and want to get back to normal, but i know that this is the one ( and hopefully only) time that I have to do what I want to do and feel right doing. I have 10days of rads to go and am feeling exhausted I used to feel guilty spending all morning in bed but now I recognise its what my body needs. This is one time when you have to listen to your body and go with the flow there are not right and wrong ways of dealing with this.

take care