I am like yourself on the egg donation about it being part of my husband and also they say there is about an 80% success rate but seeing as I am there I think Hubby and I should at least hear them out about Donation Embryos as an option…
I’ll let you know how I get on and what they say about the hormones in general obviously this will be different from woman to woman but at least to hear the experience can be informative…
It’s Ok to not to know yet, I’m like that and kind of trying to keep busy with other things so I’m not thinking about it all the time until May and besides I want to ‘hear’ what they say before making a final decision.
i have been following this thread with great interest. i’m a year since diagnosis (2.8cm IDC, G3, node neg, her2 neg, Er pos 7/8). my son was just six months old at my diagnosis and i had to stop breast feeding immediately so it could have my lumpectomy. i’ve since gone on to have bi lateral mastectomies (my choice). i’m now on tamoxifen.
i would love another child. i have always dreamed of having a big family and it is so so so painful to think i may not be able to fulfill that dream. many of my friends are now getting pregnant with their second and it hurts!!! i just want to be normal and build my family too!! i also get incredibly upset by news stories where babies and children are abused/ neglected/ killed etc when i have a loving home here and can’t easily have another. it makes me sooooo sad.
just wanted to thank you all for sharing your experiences and posting links to further info. it is definatley helping me to thoroughly think my future through. at the moment i feel i cannot risk leaving my son motherless to provide him a sibling. if i did have another child and i got a recurrence i would always wonder if it was because i made the wrong choice.
if i don’t have another child and i still get a recurrence, then at least i will know that it wasn’t my fault. i owe that to my son.
just my feelings on the matter. keep the thread going ladies!
much love and best wishes to all
becky xxx
Hi just to add that I was diagnosed with TNBC back in 2005 when my son was 10 weeks old. I have no idea if the diagnosis was as a result of the pregnancy and I have been told my medical professionals that there is no evidence to suggest that there is a link between pregancy and BC. I personally at the moment think the verdict is still out. I am in the process of trying to decide whether to have more children and I have found the following links interesting for those like myself with either BRCA1 or BRCA 2.
adele i have come across them as im brca 2 and its interesting that us brca 2 girls are actually more at risk from BC if we have children than those who dont so its opposite for brca 2 peeps than for the general population who are more protected if the have children especially when your yonuger.
Msmolly, thanks for that article. I have to be honest I struggled in reading that article maybe you can explain it seeing as I could be a bit dim!!
Becky, sorry to hear that you got bc with your child being so young. I don’t have children and even up to 6 years after diagnosis did I find myself in a position to even think about going down that road of considering having a child with my partner so for me I really do think it just happened that I hadn’t met him until the 6 years on. I think the way you feel is completely understandable and who knows what is around the corner it may come up again when you have gone a little bit further along with your treatment - God only knows I thought I’d never even meet anyone to think of the baby question. Hope you are doing well.
Adele, what a great and easy to understand presentation by Steven Narod? And food for thought about Pre-Implantation Genetic (PGD) for the future. It says this could be available already although I suspect maybe in the US, although I won’t carry on with IVF, it does seem interesting if this is being used,controversial as it will be to some people.
Other things that interested me, he states that even though samples are small he states that brca carriers doing IVF is not hazardous and he said he would not discourage anyone thinking of it. Mind you, he said he had ‘concerns’ over the use of Pregnyl to produce eggs in IVF, which I used in my IVF attempt for the risk of bc being doubled? I am mindful he did say the sample is small though, but still he seems very reputable so basically MORE studies need to be done!!!
The more I read the more scary it sounds - as with all studies the emotional side of it is really really scary.
For me to find out that the embryos we have created and then finding the gene in one of them and then having to terminate is just all too much for me. I very stupidly thought that if they found the gene they could remove it, how silly I am to think that?
I know this is the type of research that is there and new and requires couples in order to gain statistics for those to benefit in the future and maybe this is the option for BRCA1 and 2 carriers who haven’t got cancer and go through the preventative route of mx and reconstruction etc then to have a baby in order to produce the number of embryos required - 10 is a lot especially for those already having had chemo and has caused fertility to be a problem like me but obviously the decision to terminate is such a hard, hard one to do - takes someone to do that and I just know I couldn’t. As well their current studies says the pregnancy rate after PGD seems to be lower than the IVF pregnancy rate, probably due to not always the best embryos are transferred.
I saw my oncologist yesterday before my last chemo tomorrow and I asked about pregnancy post treatment. She said that after the 5 years of tamoxifen it is fine for us to try and that it doesn’t increase the risk of the cancer returning. She said it’s only more likely to happen during pregnancy if you’re pregnant before a initial diagnosis. Sounds a bit odd what I’ve written but I think you’ll get the gist! It was relief to hear as we were looking into adoption, we may still consider this as there is potential we might not be able to have kids afterwards anything, chemo + PCOS.
Apologies if this causes any upset however for personal reasons I would like to respond to this thread and this is a case of do I post or don’t I post as I don’t like to put a downer on things however this is not a disease to mess around with and take chances so to be well informed and know the risks beforehand means less chance of you saying ‘if only I’d known’.
A girl I know had breast cancer at the age of 27 which was a hormonal type of breast cancer. She was my inspiration (and still is as I knew that she was fine when I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago). She couldn’t get pregnant and doesn’t have any other children so went through IVF treatment to have a child. She now has secondaries which were diagnosed practically immediately after the child was born. She wasn’t told of the risks of the breast cancer returning if she got pregnant.
Ruby
the thing is cancer is unpredictable and it could return at any time… but do you want to live in constant fear of it or do you want grasp life with both hands.
if she didnt have a baby she may well still have been diagnosed with secondaries but without the joy of experiencing motherhood.
everybody is individual and for some people having a baby is worth the risk, where as others would minimise everything in order to stay alive longer… we all have different ideals and wishes.
i hope your friend lives a long happy life with her child despite her secondary diagnosis.
As Lulu34 said,t one of more persisting psychological side effects of having had cancer or actually living with it is the constant weighting up the pro’s and con’s of everything you do. It robs you of spontaneity and the joy of just going for something with a what the hell attitude. The also can be said of the “wonders” of medical science which now makes pregnancy a nightmare; full of axiety waiting for test results for various medical problems which may or may not happen. In my mother’s day, you had a baby. You didnt think will I be around in ten years or will I die tomorrow or will this baby have a genetic deformity etc. Of course all of the above would have happened to someone, and I am not proposing that everyone should just get pregnant without any thought at all, but if you wait for the right time, when there is no doubt, no fear of anything, then you will never have one. My youngest son had a genetic cancer as a baby and we lived through hell (he is very well now). I only intended two children, but I often think if he had been my first would I have had another child with the risk of having another baby with cancer and yes, I would most definitely.
We do hear stories of women being diagnosed with bc or secondaries after becoming pregnant or giving birth but we still do not know how the statistics compare to normal and unproblematic births. I suspect the figure would match many of the other reasons that are cited as links with breast cancer diagnosis. This may sound naive, but I think it is only the exceptional cases that people remember.
This is such a sensitive and emotive subject. My partner and I were trying to get pregnant when I was diagnosed last year. Admittedly, I had left if a tad late at the age of 42, but hey ho, I’d been in a bad marriage before where a child would have been a disaster. I’m now resigned to the fact that I’ll never have children and have been advised not to try. I’m not gonna beat myself up, but I shouldn’t have left it so late. Tis sad though.
Just on this thread, personally I have the same feelings as Lulu and Cathy, 10 years on from diagnosis and I still feel that what my husband and I are embarking on is a very personal but positive extension of my life, obviously if we cannot have children as the result of trying then so be it…it’s another step in my life that both of us will come to terms with so I do understand Julia about that part of it being sad, unfortunately when I was 30 I wasn’t even involved with anyone so for me it wasn’t an option…
I have to say also I’m just glad to still be here and you know what I will enjoy the feeling of getting excited about the possibility that this could work…anything after that I will have to deal with the so called ‘extra’ tests that have to be performed are no fun but we will just have to see…first appointment for egg donation on 3rd May!
Em, I do wish you the very best in what you decide, I certainly wasn’t able to think about such things when I was diagnosed so fair play to you!
This thread is so interesting. I am like Julia really, we were just about to start trying for a baby last year (age 37) and wham bam, BC diagnosed. I left it late, I know that, but 2nd marriage etc and we were just about ready. I feel robbed. No other word for it. I am due to finish herceptin at end of Oct and ONC has said that the jury is still out re pregnancy. Unfortunately, my periods haven’t returned post chemo, there is a 50/50 chance they will. I suppose I have resigned myself to the fact that I will be childless and just want to enjoy whatever I have left with fab hubby. Very very hard though.
x