I had a mass that turned out to be partly cystic, identified by biopsy October 24th.
When the core biopsy and fluid aspirate results came in I felt they were quite contradictory. My surgeon agreed with me, as it happens. I hear that it is rare for cysts to be malignant. Well, who wants to be rare?!!
The diagnosis was DCIS, but with a 1mm focus suspicious for invasion. Structurally the cells were described as “papillary architecture”, ie low aggression, but then “nuclear grade 3”, ie aggressive. The fluid aspirate was described as “cells of high malignancy”. The cells were ER/PR negative. HER-2 status as yet not known.
My GP played it down, telling me that DCIS was non-invasive, stage 0, Essentially a pre-cancerous state.
I was instinctively anxious about this. Apart from dcis, everything about it, including my high platelet levels (1 million) pointed to a poor prognosis, and a more aggressive cancer, from articles/papers that I read. I understood when I saw the surgeon that my surgery wasn’t to be until mid-December, and that, to me was totally unacceptable. So I went back to the GP and cried in his office. He gave me antidepressants, which did not help me sleep, just gave me loopy dreams! I was so afraid the surgeon would think sentinel node biopsy unnecessary!
But he also called my surgeon, and upshot was I had my surgery yesterday. Well, she took a wide excisional biopsy. (the cyst was about 4x3x2cm). Sentinel node biopsy WAS cancerous, so I ended up having axillary node clearance. Not sure how many nodes were taken. Now I am told I will definitely need chemo, but will have to wait until Dec 11 for the final pathology and staging.
I think it fair to say that I am quite frightened at this point, but I feel I at least have to pretend to be positive, for my family and friends!
Aah Morwenna, you have been having a tough time!
Now you are having treatment, that is the main thing, and docs are always saying that a few weeks delay in starting chemo doesnt make much difference, so hang in there, especially as you have already had the surgery.
We always feel like we have to protect our family dont we? I was the same, letting them cry on MY shoulder instead of vice-versa.
Without sounding negative to them if you can help it, you need to let them know that you are the one who needs support.
Please let us know how you get on with the staging and treatment plan, and remember you will find lots of support, advice and encouragement on this site.
sending (((((HUGS))))))
About supporting my family. I kinda DO have to. We live in Canada, and on Monday, when I called my husband to tell him I got my surgery date, he tells me he had a call to say his 90 year old mother was admitted to hospital in England, with a GI bleed!
So for much of the week we were uncertain whether he would have to jet off to take care of her! She is very much alone in uk, so I had to say he should go if he needed to, but of course I want him for myself.
In the end, he didn’t go, but he was in tears talking to her on the phone today. He is worried for me, and also about his own situation as he gor laid off a couple of weeks back, and finances are tight now.
We also have our son getting married end of December, which is a lovely thing to look forward to, but I feel like I am adding to everyone’s stress levels by getting sick.
I just feel so useless.
Try and stay calm and just focus on the moment. Be mindful of what you are doing and that will give you the strength to cope. It is all so difficult for you with lots of other people needing your help and attention.
Sending you big hugs to get through this together. Love Tracy xxx
Thanks Tracy,
Hugs are always welcome!
I am feeling better today. I may be able to have my drain out tomorrow as its slowed right down.
The pain is somewhat improved and I am taking lighter analgesics. The numbness and (paradoxically) hypersensitivy in my axilla and upper arm bother me, and my ring and little finger go numb if I keep my elbow bent for a length if time.
This morning a breast health nurse called me to arrange dates for bloodwork, a CT scan, Bone Scan and Chest XRay, and my follow up appointment with my surgeon. I have my post-surgery class booked as well.
For a while, having all these appointments made me feel better, like were getting on with stuff, but then I started considering what if any of them are positive, and felt quite down about things again.
I am finding it hard to stay on an even keel, but we had a nice drive to the mountains which I always find restorative, and then a visit with a dear friend, who just happens to be a cancer nurse, and alwsys seems to know what I need to hear! Bless her!