I am a single Mum with two kids and will have my first chemo on Thursday. My Son will stay at his Dads, but my teenage daughter is too scared to stay with me on her own, and I am quite scared(wont tell her) of staying on my own.
Should I be scared?
Should I ask a friend to stay?
What should i do? HELP
Hello there
I find that on the day of treatment and the day after that I do not feel too bad, I am having Taxol at present. I can understand you feeling scared as its something unknown, I must say I am not so good on the second to fourth days after treament, but everyone is different.If you find there is a day when you do not feel so good it might be good to get a friend to come round. Wishing you the best of luck and do not forget you wont be quite alone as you have the forum. Alison
jmarsha
don’t panic. the chances are high that you will cope well. you might not feel great but you’ll get through it without too much awful stuff. perhaps you could have an emergency number of someone who could come and be with you and take care of your daughter in the unlikely event of anything going really wrong? reasure your daughter that alot of us go through this and come out the other side without too many lasting scars!
All the best - here’s hoping that your side effects are few!
Jo
xxx
Hi Marsha,
The first time is always scarey for anything but the chemo is doable. Just make sure you have everything to hand. a few ready made meals, gingery things for the queasiness you may feel.You will probably feel lousy for a couple of days bit like a dose of bad flu. Have a friend on standby just in case but I found I just wanted to be on my own. and as Jo says reassure your daughter.
I had my third chemo on Tuesday and was shopping on Friday morn (a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do).
Maybe have something lined up for when you are feeling better for you and your daughter to do together. So she can see life goes on.
Hope all goes well for you.
My best wishes
Lyndsey -x-
Hi there
Just to say, I’ve had three sessions of FEC so far and touch wood I’ve felt really well afterwards. I have it on a Thursday morning and I’ve been back at work full time on the following Monday so I’m sure you’ll be fine!
Hope it all goes ok, let us know how you get on.
Tish xx
I had my first last friday. I was scared too but fortunately had my husband. I was scared of him going to work today but felt fine this morning. I would ask a friend to stay and even your daughter too. That way she is not looking after you directly but seeing someone else attending to you, and will be able to see how she can help next time. I just felt like I had flu but also there was a lot of emotional outpouring too as I had not really accepted what was happeming until friday. Next time I’m hoping for less waterworks!
Try and be honest and open with friends and family and call on them whenever you need them. If we can’t now, when can we?
Big HugXXX
Nina
I had my first chemo, AC, on Thursday. I was nervous, but had hubby with me. After we got home, we had lunch. He then went back to work as I was OK. Later I was tired, but I think it was more the nerves than the chemo. A friend had collected my daughter from nursery and brought her around after lunch and I collected son and went to Tesco after school! I just took it easy.
Friday I was just fine, but Saturday I was a bit up and down (felt a bit shaky, bit nauseous but back-up tabs did their job, had funny taste in mouth and was tired in the late afternoon). Took it easy yesterday. Today I’m feeling OK. The chemo nurse said with AC you usually start to feel really low about seven to ten days after, so I am still bracing myself.
If you are still worried about it, you could ask a friend around and the three of you could do a DVD night, have a bit of fun! Drink lots of water. And for snacks, make sure you don’t have any blue or soft cheeses and beware the raw vegies. And I have to now give up yoghurt, it seems.
Good luck! It wasn’t as bad as I feared.
I live on my own with three dogs and I was fine. I was on TAC and felt tired and a bit nauseous but otherwise ok and didn’t see anyone. Just have a phone no of a friend handy just in case.
Val
jmarsha
Please don’t worry - it won’t be half as bad as you think. I was dreading my first one (which was EC), and the effects seemed to kick in about 7 hours after having it - I felt as if I was coming down with flu, so took myself off to bed. I then had about 5 days of feeling so tired and nauseous. Don’t worry, as the hospital send you home with a variety of different drugs to help combat this, but do make the most of your “tired time”, give in to it, and sleep !
As for your daughter, I would explain to her how the chemo may possibly make you feel, but that its nothing to be scared of. I too have a teenage daughter (14) and she wanted to know anything and everything about what was happening, and how I was feeling. I think she quite liked looking after me too when her Dad was out, and I was feeling rough !
Good luck for Thursday - you’ll be fine, and please let us know how you get on.
Lots of love and a big hug
Julie xxx
Nothing at all to be worried about, you have to be in the hospital for the chemo, but it is outpatients and they wouldn’t let people go home if they needed someone with them. Hundreds of single people have chemo every week and look after themselves.
I would put a dinner ready to heat up though … it’s a long day and you won’t feel like cooking! If you don’t feel like eating then it’ll keep. If you’re going to be on your own treat yourself to a DVD and enjoy the evening!
I am lucky as my daughter usually comes across and makes my dinner for me, but it is mostly for her than me.
So, don’t panic. You’ll be fine.
hugs
Myadvice is just to take it easy - I tended to sleep a lot whenever I liked. My husband took me for the treatment but then always took me home and left for work. I found it easier being on my own, but knew that I coud call hubby who’d come running to me. He never needed to do that.
Good tip is to have stuff in so easy meals - my inlaws used to pop in with a fresh french loaf every day ! Be aware that you may go off certain foods - I couldn’t stand coffee.
Most of all, be kind to yourself and be selfish - look at what you need during the first few days whether that’s to go out and about or simply cocoon yourself as I did.
My warmest wishes, hope all goes well.
Hi jmarsha
I was actually OK on my own, and apart from the first three I had the chemo on my own. I live alone but only the 2 times I was on Taxotere did I need to get someone to come over with supplies as I was laid up for 1 or 2 days each time.
You will be fine, and your daughter will I’m sure be a help to you. You just need to get the first one over and done with and she’ll see there’s nothing to be scared of.
Very good luck for your first treatment.
Cecelia. x
Hi jMarsha,
What can I add!? I had my first chemo two weeks ago (FEC) and like some of the ladies here, had flu-like symptoms, later that evening, went to bed, took my anti-sickness and some nurofen for headache and was feeling much better by the next day.
Just try and stay on top of the sickness (if you get it) by taking meds regularly and I found eating lots of little snacks helped, just cereal bars, dry biscuits etc.
a bit like combatting bad morning sickness really. I also found going for a proper lie down in bed even for 10 minutes complete peace and quiet really helped in the first few days following treatment.
Hope your treatment goes fine, mine wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be, loads of good thoughts to you,
Louisa x
Hello jmarsha
I agree with all the other comments and would just add that I live alone and went through the whole of chemo by myself. I made sure that I had lots of supplies in before each chemo and I also had phone numbers of friends and neighbours just in case. I needed help to get to the shops once or twice and kind friends brought supplies in for me now and then when I didn’t feel well enough to get out but apart from that I managed alone.
You don’t say which type of chemo you will be having but they should give you medications to take home with you. Be sure to take these as prescribed. I felt nauseous but never actually vomited after chemo.
Hope it goes OK - let us know.
Anthi x
Thanks you so much everybody, i am overwhelmed by the number of responses and feeling a whole lot better and stronger about it now.
Anthi I will be having FEC(?) for three cycles then Taxol(?), all new to me and I have been a coward and not dared to read all the side effects. Been wearing sea bands today to get tused to them to see if they help for sickness,and will be having acupuncture tomorrow.
I agree that none of it feels real until the treatment starts, up to now have been laughing and joking, a few tears today as was on my own.
I will probabaly just want to go to sleep for a few days and hibernate knowing me!
Anybody else find medics scary, the way they give you the worse scenario, including after 7-10 days you have to avoid contact with possibly infectious people as your blood count drops and makes you susceptible etc. Feel like I should go under house arrest for the second week!
Will the kids have to avoid bringing friends home during the second week?
HUgs to all,
Jx
Hello again Jmarsha
I was always very careful to avoid infection in the second week especially and because I do a bit of teaching at home I used to ask my students not to come if they had colds etc.
I had FEC x 3 and then Taxotere x 3 . I found Lucozade great for dealing with the nausea after FEC. I used to come home from the hospital, take my medications, have a warm bath and then go to bed with my bottle of Lucozade and a glass of water. I always put extra pillows on the bed so that I could sit more upright if I felt queasy. I was usually OK by the next day and able to start eating again.
The anti sickness medications can make you constipated - after my first FEC I didn’t go for 5 days - so after that I would take a dose of lactulose and senna liquid before going to the hospital for the chemo - that helped a lot.
Good luck for Thursday.
Anthi x
Hi again Jmarsha
One other thing I do recommend is buying some of the hygiene anti bacterial hand gel, so if you do go out during the 7-10 days, keep it in your bag and clean your hands when you touch things in shops etc.
I always have my hands in my mouth (nail biter!) so I carry it all the time and use it constantly, especially when I’ve been on the bus etc.
Good luck for Thursday.
Cecelia. x
Hi Anthi,
I am due for my first TAX tomorrow, and have got through the FEC fine, in fact, am feeling completely well today!
Yet again i have been scared by possible side effects, and iknow each individual is different, but am wondering just how long i can expect to be tired for, and will i be so tired that i can’t get out of bed so need someone to fetch me a cuppa?
Jx