Rob,god,I’m so sorry and my heart goes out to you and family. Thank you for sharing your letters you wrote. I don’t know how PCA sleep at night they are so callous.
All my love to you,your wife and daughter xxxxx
Thank you for the Newsnight link L. What a cold person Ali Stunt seems.
PCA, Ms Stunt continually say there is a message behind the ‘I wish…’ The general public will NOT stop and think ‘oh it all makes sense what they actually mean…’ All the public now see is Breast cancer is a cancer to wish for. Please, PLEASE get the message out there BCC. We are already fighting a battle for stage 4 to be recognised.
Ms Stunt obviously hasn’t got a clue about breast cancer and I feel she could not care less anyway. I cannot believe a charity would stoop so low to encourage others to think breast cancer is almost a minor ailment but in the interview she admits her intention was to deliver a campaign to shock but it’s unforgivable that it’s at our expense. It is ignoring the fact that 12,000 of us die every year. We leave behind partners, children, sometimes very young children.
A very good idea Angelfalls!
Hello Rob, I hope you will all be able to enjoy some quality time together as a family. I recognise your wife’s log in name. I remember her posting encouragement and support to others here. I hope she is as pain free as is possible. Please send on all our love and good wishes. We are all here, if you want to pop in for support anytime please do.
X
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I do not have secondary BC, but on seeing this advert I felt sick to the bottom of my stomach. I can’t believe the insensitivity of Ms Stunt, yes it is important to get the word out about PC but not at the expense of BC and testicular cancer. Ms Stunt admits that she wished for controversy, well she did indeed achieve that.
A total slap in the face to all of us.
Have made my complaint to ASA and also received the same email, agree entirely that those truly disgusting words need to be removed. Nobody wants any sort of cancer…
Gloria Hunniford conducted the interview with great restraint, you could tell she was seething.
I wish that you, the secondary ladies do have your chance to publicly address Ms Stunt, as it is, she just doesn’t get it?? or if she does, what kind of person is she?
All the very best to you all and fingers crossed that you have your say. xx
I feel very sad and angry about this. Sad that we now live in such an uncaring society that another charity will trample on those of us who are statistically not going to die of old age but a disease that can wreck havoc. I cannot even begin to understand how bereaved families feel about this. Team Darwin, well done, Ali Stunt, well done, the campaign will probably win some ridiculous award.
We need a breast cancer charity devoted to Stage 4. As some of you have already said whilst there is such a large number of breast cancer patients who do not want to know about metastasised breast cancer we are done for. I cannot tell you how grateful I am when those of you who are not stage 4 get it, are not afraid of posting here. At the moment we are getting so little attention charity wise, yes we have MBC day now but last year it was a Sunday and blink and you would have missed it. Now we are quite done for. From trying to be heard above the Pink and Tickled Pink the message is now we are dying of a cancer you would wish for.
Never mind we know of more realistic stats, apart from friends here others on the various forums are too frightened or just refuse to believe them. I understand some just want to get through treatment and move on, not allow the illness to dominate their lives. Which is why I think we need to have a charity for us, at the moment we are being short changed and nothing hammers that home more than PCA thinking everything is so darn Pollyanna in breast cancer land they can capitalise on it by the type of recent campaign.
I think the campaign is the first in cancer envy! It’s quite awful, no-one should feel guilty or apologetic for having breast cancer. I often have a kind of survivor guilt, been here much longer than most, I’m a mum but not of very young children, I did have cancer and mets quite young, early 40’s and now I’m my 50’s.
I believe Ali Stunt is a PC success story? I wondered if that determined some of the odd message behind the campaign.
Would anyone really think at the time of diagnosis I wish I had such and such cancer? All I thought was how was I going to cope with what I had. I was diagnosed stage 4 at the start but I just took that in, I didn’t think of anyone stage 1 or with a benign lump.
Let’s hope we have some response from BCC today. Will check in this evening.
There have been comments on the PCA FB page from very upset cervical and testicular cancer patients and their families. The statement from Team Darwin is so arrogant in response to the controversy, I wonder if this will be the first in a line of many ads pitching cancer against cancer or other diseases. I think in a way Breast Cancer Awareness is a “victim” of it’s own success, always very palatable in pink, almost tongue in cheek with “coppa-feel” rubber "boobies, funny bras on Moonwalk, and cheerful& pushing positive attitude celebrities mostly stating treatment is so doable and they are cured thereafter. No wonder the response from the general public is “thank god it’s only breast cancer”, there is no public awareness of stage 4 breast cancer. With all the attention focused on early detection and primary disease, metastatic breast cancer has only one day a year of dedicated focus but little of it shows the reality of this in its grimness to the public. Maybe it’s time for Breast Cancer awareness to shift more attention to explaining stage 4 in the general public. I also like the Prostate Cancer ad, a united front and effort must achieve so much more than this hurt and anger caused by PCA.
Dear Rob and family
I am very sorry to read the news that Jo died earlier today, may I pass on sincere condolences from all of us here at BCC
Take care
Lucy BCC
It’s a shame an advert isn’t stopped after a certain number of initial complaints. However the ASA views this PCA advert it’s run it’s course and it’s certainly got it’s message out. Showing my ignorance but for an ad to be passed as suitable for television who sees it, okays it?
The media coverage around the topic can be misleading, that’s why it may be so shocking to hear the figures.
uk.tv.yahoo.com/morning-corrie-39-sally-talks-her-real-life-114600139.html The story ends with the statement that Sally has a good prognosis and is cured.
It’s so frustrating here sometimes. There used to be many, many more posters here but a huge number of them have switched to using Facebook groups set up by others stage 4 and especially for Stage 4.
I don’t like Twitter or Facebook so I carry on posting here but clicking on the Breakthrough link, thank you L, I was impressed by the style of it. BCC’s page always seems lively but at first glance, at times, it can look like a lifestyle site.
Meant to add I’ve just had the standard reply from the ASA. Am I being a bit pessimistic to feel IF the complaint is upheld the result will count for little after all the attention, at our expense, of the I wish campaign?
Thank You for posting the facts, BCC. I fully support putting the statistics out there, please keep doing this so that the 12000 women who loose their lives every year and those living with stage 4 are not “brushed under the carpet”. I am sorry, but no one with a breast cancer primary dx should be offended by the fact that they are at risk of recurrence or metastatic bc or that after 5 years they are “safe”. Time to bust the myths and show how the facts, maybe less people will think BC is a “good cancer” to have. BC charities have done well in promoting awareness of primary bc, maybe the same can be done for secondary bc. Liked the status on FB, so surprised that so many primary ladies state that these facts were unknown to them, or they didn’t need to know they are at risk of recurrence/mets??..
It’s good to hear others are ‘liking’ the message, I hope it helps everyone. I know some women have no idea of the possibilities of mets and there have been newcomers posting here that were quite in the dark, had been to their GPs many times with various symptoms and had begun to think they were making a fuss.
A good discussion, here and on Facebook - it puts METASTATIC breast cancer more in the spotlight than the non-event that was “Secondary” bc awareness day in Oct 2013.
I don’t use Facebook myself, but it is good that we can read the many posts and comments about “living with or dying from” bc.
A few comments… there doesn’t seem to be much discussion about the pancreatic bc ad.
I can’t see any mention of those such as myself who received a METASTATIC diagnosis at or very soon after the primary bc diagnosis. (in my case it was 3 weeks). People who don’t like to be reminded that their cancer might recur should stop and think about what we are living with.
I am very sorry if some of the secondary ladies feel marginilised by those with primary BC. The sobering reality is that 12,000 people a year still die from BC and any of us could get a reoccurance or spread at any time. I find it interesting and helpful to read of how some of the secondary ladies are coping with their diagnosis. Sometimes i feel a bit of a voyer intruding on their private battles, which they are brave to publicise, but what they print is the stark reality of living with a secondary diagnosis and it is something we all need to be aware of in order to improve research, help raise funds and have empathy for others. Just my opinion
Caroline x
I have quickly scanned some of the remarks that have been made via the links here, I don’t belong to Facebook. But I get much too upset when I see some of the remarks about stage 4 being depressing, scary, I just don’t handle it well. I have struggled and at times felt awful when I have felt ridiculously upset and exasperated by some remarks and assumptions. It has sometimes felt, to me, that not only should we keep a low profile so as not to upset but those that make the ‘depressing’ remarks don’t seem to care if we then happen to stumble on them, read them. They can only relate to themselves and our feelings are not taken into any consideration. I understand how we must represent other’s worst fears but to read comments like ‘thanks for depressing me’ I want to say ‘how do you think I feel, how do you think my family feel?’
Hopefully, this is not just a one-off discussion and it just shows that the real facts have got lost amongst the pink and fluffy feel good stuff. Please BCC, keep these facts visible. I am saddened that the FB comments should be so ignorant to the imbalance of primary vs MBC awareness/funding. How can anyone with a bc dx be ok with that?
I don’t see BC as a chronic disease myself. I consider it is manageable, sometimes for years. A few years ago many with bone mets often thought as long as their bc remained in their bones things were ok. I remember a forum user going through successful treatment for brain mets and saying although breast cancer was still in her bones ‘you don’t die from bone mets.’ Sadly she did as her bone marrow was effected and she died of pneumonia. Once you have bone mets you are at risk of developing marrow involvement which can cause a risk of chemo eventually becoming impossible.
If you are diagnosed in your 60’s and have a slow growing cancer I think it is possible to then consider yourself as having a chronic disease. I was bone mets only for 5 years before I went on to develop bc elsewhere.
I think the argument is a false one. Secondary cancer is chronic in the sense it is not an acute illness for example an acute infectious illness. Chronic does not mean you will not die of it. Many die of chronic illnesses.
…eg complications of diabetes or chronic heart or renal failure…to name but 3. I note wikipedia list cancer under chronic illnesses…not that it is the be all and end all of definitions! The question of what to call it is personal choice.xx