Stage 3 idc. Diagnosed october 22, treatment ended this Easter. Single mastectomy, EC, taxol, radiation, herceptin, kadcyla, zolatronic acid.
Currently on zoladex & letrozole.
Coped so well with treatment & after. Have a needle phobia so did 6 months of hypnosis. Helped up until surgery but when I was on the dayward every 6 months for zolatronic acid I was having panic attacks. Stuffing myself with comfort food…up 4 stones. Was referred to clinical psychology at plastics. They were as helpful as a chocolate teapot. Really felt that I wasn’t being understood.
Anyway, today was my 3rd annual mammogram & i lost it. Was asked if i could be pregnant. Did not conduct myself in a way that I was proud of, cried & had a panic attack. Absolutely seething I’d been asked that given yhe medication I’m on. Had been asked before by nuclear medicine. Complained, was told it was insensitive & staff needed better training. Why am I being continued to be asked?
Anyway. I am a fully functioning adult until I go anywhere near a hospital & I have a panic attack. I’m not ok & need help. Where do I go? It’s 3 years down the line & I should be over this
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Hey @Luskentyre1
So sorry to hear you’re struggling. I’m very much in the thick of initial treatment but have heard from many women in the same position of finding life difficult beyond this so I’m certain you’ll get some replies here from someone who can relate soon.
You mention you have already been referred for counselling and didn’t find it useful. This can definitely be the case if you end up with a counsellor who’s not a good fit and it sounds more like you need help from someone who really understands this.
Breast Cancer Now have a service called Someone Like Me where you can speak to someone who has been through a similar experience to you. I’ve personally used this and found it to be massively helpful in navigating my own situation.
They also have a course called Moving Forward designed to help you do just that.
I’ve included the links below and wish you all the very best in finding your way through this. Just remember you don’t need to do it alone. x
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First a virtual hug.
Then give yourself grace. Most of us don’t feel ill when we get the diagnosis and then we’re on a punishing treatment plan that makes us feel sick, changes our bodies and causes other side effects. It can also take other things from us.
So no I’m not sure you should be over it. I think the panic attacks are you letting the cap off a bottle fizzy drink that’s been thoroughly shaken these last 3 years.
@mssteel has signposted some excellent resources. Whoever your counsellor is check they’re experienced in cancer survivors. . I’m also going to suggest you find a physical activity which allows you to safely channel that negative energy and stress. Maybe brisk walking, running, boxing or martial arts?
Many of us suppress that initial rage and panic at diagnosis to get on with fighting but eventually we need to face it.
Also remember Letrozole can affect your mental health too so talk to someone about help with that if you think that’s happening for you.
Much love
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I feel for you, as have been asked before myself. I think it’s because it is so ingrained in staff in radiography departments that treatment delivered there is damaging to an unborn, they are super cautious. I think that routine thinking and fear of harming really over rides the ability to adapt to individual circumstances. It’s not helpful as a patient, but from a medical point of view, you can see how it happens. It was particularly painful for me as I had a difficult Fertility journey. So for you, already anxious at yiur appointment, it is undstandable that it really upset you. I am now proactive and say to staff, before you ask it is impossible for me to be pregnant due to my cancer. Then no risk of them asking and I can manage the situation. I am not sure that helps, but wanted to let you know, you are not alone with this.
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Thanks all for the replies. It’s just been an awful week & I really thought i should be passed all of this & grateful to be at the other side.
Will have a look at the resource links & try to get something to channel my energy 
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I don’t think you should be over anything. What you’ve been through is very traumatic.
The links above will be helpful and if you havent had any counselling before or even if you’ve finished it, I think it’s definitely worth looking into now. They will definitely help give you some tools to help with all your emotions. I don’t think these feelings will ever go away but they will become more manageable with the right guidance. No one else can put the work in though, you have to advocate for yourself and go find the help. I have/had huge anxiety before my diagnosis just from life in general and my health and I would not have got through my treatment so far without my counsellor. I found her through a friend who was newly qualified. Some counselling services have people that are newly qualified but need to get 100 hours of work before they are given their certificates so they offer their time at very reasonable prices. That’s how I arranged mine and now she is fully certified qualified she has agreed to keep me on at a reasonable price.
Sending you the biggest hugs 
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