Just moved across from ‘waiting’
Diagnosed yesterday, but I don’t know what it’s called. I have a large lump in my left boob, and it’s in the lymph nodes. I’m going to have 18 weeks of chemo. A lumpectomy and the lymphs removed after. Radio therapy after that, and then look at the hormones. I’m told it’s agressive, and i’ve had it a long time.
Just left work in floods of tears and still haven’t been able to come out yet, only to those close and those that had to be told.
My hair is already falling out from stress, and my old friend anxiety is rearing it’s ugly head despite the beta blockers, so going to speak to my GP today. I’m hoping get my hair cut shorter too. I’ll speak to the nurse when she phones later.
My area manager is advertising my job. I’m going to take 6 months sick leave, and see what happens after.
It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’m 40!
Sorry to rant, I know you’ve all been through tough times, but i’m tired, tearful and lost. x
Elttiks,
Dont apologise for your emotions-rant away. We’ve all been there and can still remember the fear, shock, numbness no matter how long ago we were diagnosed.
From your posting, you still have such a lot to think about. My advice is to write things down as you go along-it can help to keep things in perspective and plus youll be able to see how far youve come.
Use any support around you- friends, breast care nurse, drop-in centres. It can help to ‘get it off your chest’ if youll pardon the awful pun!
Once you get going with treatment you really will feel ‘better’
It looks like work is heping to take the pressure off you-thats great to see.
Do come on here when you need us-we are all here.
Many best wishes
Cathie xx
Hi elttiks,
am so sorry that you have moved from the “waiting room” & have had to join us in the world of Bc,
I too was diagnosed just a week before my bday & had lumpectomy on Xmas Eve, I started Chemo yesterday & that will be followed by rads & hormone tablets, mine too is aggressive a Grade 3.
i totally understand the crying, i think many of us have been there & the anxiety too. I know at the moment it all seems unreal but i promise you that once you have a treatment plan in place & you get going with it, all seems to start to feel better as you are on the path to getting rid of this uninvited guest.
If you need to talk please feel free to Pm me & please try not to let your mind run away with you & stay away from google as everyone on here will agree.
Much love & am sending you a cyber hug.
Sarah.xx
So sorry to hear your bad news Elttiks.
Just wanted to send you a big cyber hug. We all know how earth-shattering that moment of diagnosis is.
There seem to be many ladies on here that are just starting out having chemo prior to surgery. I’m sure many of them will be along very soon to offer their support.
Best wishes
Sue xx
Elttiks - so sorry its become this for you. As Sue says, the DX itself is earth shattering and we can all feel it again, every time it happens to someone new, but please have some faith in the ladies that respond to you, even if you don’t quite believe it - you’re at the worst possible bit and it will get easier, and like i say that will be hard to believe when we say it. My advice to you is to let the world slow right down for now and try to focus on only one or two chunks at time. Don’t be tempted to read too far ahead, it can be a very scary place. I’m thinking of you and sending you very best wishes.
Lynn
x
Treatment though has moved forward so far. There are new and better drugs and new treatments coming along all the time. We are here to help each other through so anything we can do to help just say xx
Hi Elttiks,
Don’t be too upset over the ‘agressive’ word. It’s very common in younger women. I was dx at 44 with a grade three lump, also in my lymph nodes. I had a mx, chemo, rads, herceptin, tamoxifen. Four years on I am fit & well. I have several friends who have had BC in their 40’s - they are all still well, one is now 10 years on.
I remember how scary it was to begin with, and how convinced I was that I would die. I still think that sometimes now, but mostly I just get on with my life, enjoying every day to the full. You will be like that in the future too.
Dear Elttiks,
I’m really sorry you find yourself over here. It is a scary place. I can remember being told my bad news back in October; it felt unreal, as if it was happening to someone else. I promise it does get easier, particularly once treatment commences.
I have almost finished my chemotherapy, one more to go and will have surgery next month. There are others on the site who are also having chemo first: you are definitely not alone and as you can see already others on the site will support you.
Please do not spend too much time googling. In this period, before treatment, it is too easy to look at statistics. I scared myself witless. Then I rang the helpline here and it is the best thing I have done to help myself. That and joining threads.
I promise it will get better, this might seem little comfort but we have all been where you are now and you will find ways of coping, I promise.
Sending you best wishes and hugs
Sue
Hi Elltikks
I am another one - diagnosed at 45, aggressive cancer, in lymph nodes, and still around doing fine 7 years later. There are loads who survive a similar diagnosis, they don’t post much on the forums as they are now happily getting on with their lives.
all the best
Sarah
Hi Elltiks
I don’t have anything to say that the others haven’t said already, so just sending you a gentle hug in support.
CM
x
Hi Elttiks
So sorry you’re joining us. Those first few days post diagnosis are really scary and confusing. I remember the sheer shock I felt when diagnosed. I was 41 with a large lump & lymphe node involvement. I too had chemo first, then my op and I have just finished my radio therapy. Now on Tamoxifen for 5 years. And believe me, you are at your lowest right now, things do get better.
There are some good suggestios on this thread already like writing things down and take things one step at a time. You’ve had an enormous shock and need time to give this a place. Don’t worry too much about telling people - nothing wrong with next week or next month. When you are ready - that’s what counts.
Threads here are very supportive - I wish I had used them sooner post diagnosis.
Sending you lots of hugs!
N x
Hi
So sorry that you are now on the bc side of the forums. I was diagnosed 2 months after my 40th birthday and was grade 3 too.
The first few weeks are awful and frightening but I can only agree with all the other gals are saying. Once you get the treatment plan sorted it will all seem easier to cope with. Remember to ask questions to your bc nurse and onc, Never be afraid to ask them…I found that they were all really helpful and only too happy to put your mind more at ease.
I had chemo, mastectomy and then radiotherapy and it took just under a year in total. But I found the time actually went quite fast.
Sending you huge cyber hugs
Rachel
xxx
Hi
I can’t add anymore than what has been said but did want to add my support. You are amongst people who really understand.
I’m on 2nd chemo of 6, then mastectomy, then rads, then tam pills. The start, where you are, is the worst but once it gets going it feels better. 32 days into treatment I’ve met friends for lunch, had a weekend in London, still been a Mum, been to the cinema, etc with only 3 days out of action. Life will still go on, albeit one day at a time, and it will pass.
x
Hugs and kisses, Eltikk. You’re among friends here.
Cheryl
hi elltiks i am a newbie posting but listen to the ladies on here we have all felt that heartwrenching fear you feel but you will get your head round it and come out fighting its our survival mode just take time telling people i did stength and luv to you x
Hi. I was diagnosed on 25th Jan, and it has spread to my armpit lymph nodes. I went yesterday expecting to start chemo this week, only to be told that it had spread to my neck lymph nodes, and went for an immediate neck biobsy to confirm this.
I now have to go for a heart echocardiogram on Tuesday (so that i can start Herceptin).
I am presuming i will start chemo on Feb 18th, however, i don’t know how the neck issue will affect this.
I am very frightened. I had come to terms well with the cancer and the treatment to come, but to think it is spreading and the possible implications of this i find horrific.
I have a lovely partner (soon to be husband), and a 9 year old son (the effects of this on him i can’t even think of at the moment).
Can anyone tell me of their experiences with neck lymph issues?
Isn’t it amazing that time moves, but it still seems so fresh?
Hi elttiks, I am so glad you posted today. It gives me so much heart reading these posts. I am actually going in tomorrow to have an axillary clearance as one of my nodes was found to have tiny cells in it when they did an SNB. On the positive side I only have grade 1 but it is such a scary place to be in right now.
Glad all you ladies have come through all the treatment and getting on with your lives.
Hi sunshine. I’m grade 3, stage 3c. Affected nodes and supraclavicular and am getting there. I’m now 40.
You can see how scared I was at dx 8 months ago. I did my fec-t, three ops and tomorrow am rads planning. I don’t know what i’m planning yet, i’m also consenting to trials. Time really helps x