Hi Ladies, i’m really scared because i have been reading other ladies posts on the chemo threads, i really don’t want to be ill, i don’t feel like a warrior at the moment, feel like a total wimp anxiety kicking in again, scared in case i get an infection, don’t know if i will make it through the first one let alone 6 of them, am i alone here thinking this?
Definitely not alone! Keep in mind that people post more about their worst-case issues than just ‘I was really tired through this cycle’, so the wider image looks bleaker than it is.
Also, your team do NOT want you to suffer any more than you have to. Tell them about all your issues, even minor ones, and they will know ways to help, or even tweak the chemo to lessen side effects.
You’ve got this!
Hi,
I finished neo-adjuvent end of November, had surgery first week of January.
Chemo for me was fine. Not fun but fine. I think there’s a spectrum and I was luckily at the milder end (I was lucky enough to have a complete response as well). For me the “bad” days were no worse than a moderate hangover and I probably only had one or two “bad” days a cycle. I have a 1 year old and 3 year old and there was only a few days over the 5 months where I would have struggled to look after them alone.
The side effects do need to be managed. I found it better to be proactive rather than wait. So if I got a bit constipated I went straight to the chemist rather than see if it sorted itself out. I took anti sickness whether I felt sick or not. I used the special mouthwash the whole time before any ulcers happened etc.
So don’t be scared, you may absolutely sail through it. And if you don’t, most of the side effects can be managed. Don’t be afraid to ask your team for help. I think as previously mentioned, people that find it “fine” don’t tend to post which I think can be unhelpful as it can really scare people as they only read the really negative experiences.
Wishing you all the best x
Hi eeyore
If it helps, I was in an almost constant state of panic. What I did was to tell the oncologist how frightened I was and that there was a strong possibility I might panic and need to leave mid-treatment. They are obviously used to this and he just wrote a script for 2x1mg lorazepam to take before the treatment. It was amazing. I wasn’t woozy at all but I felt so normal and not scared.
Tbh, I was quite badly hit by the side effects but I took the anti-sickness med (I was never sick) and just dealt with feeling sh** for much of the time, mostly fatigue. The point is, even for a lifelong panicker with GAD and panic disorder, I got through it and came out the other side. Two lorazepam were prescribed just before each treatment and eventually I wasn’t taking them (I saved them up for scans lol). I did get an infection and was in hospital for 4 days but I never felt ill! I was just on drips that kept bleeping and getting no sleep because they were checking my BP and temperature every 2 hours, so couldn’t wait to get home. I would strongly advise you to get TWO new thermometers and check they both work and match in readings. If I’d known my new thermometer was reading 2 degrees lower, I’d have acted sooner and wouldn’t have had to stay in hospital!!
It is all manageable, honestly, and in a few months time, you’ll be thinking the same. So, contact your breast care nurse tomorrow, explain the situation and ask if the hospital can prescribe something as this isn’t the usual anxiety; it’s a chronic condition. I hope your hospital is as helpful as mine.
And forget that warrior business - we aren’t warriors, we are women doing the best we can; whether we are wimps or wusses doesn’t matter. There are many different kinds of courage and yours is a massive one to pull together. If you measure yourself against the women who run marathons through their chemo, you’re setting yourself up to feel inadequate. You have got through the last few weeks, you’ve reached out for support and advice so you are AMAZING! Keep going now.
All the best
Jan x