In a nice way.....are you a 'Mean Mum'

Thought this was appropriate as it’s almost Mothers Day. Unfortunately I lost my Mum to bowel cancer some years ago so don’t have anyone to send a card to - but this anecdote really touched me - and it is so true.

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mum told me:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
must learn that their parents aren’t perfect…

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

Was your Mum mean?

I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a biscuit for lunch,
we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You’d think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were
and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to break
the Child Labour Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night
thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds
and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk
the horn when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date
when they were 12 or 13,
we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out
on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s
property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mum was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world today.
It just doesn’t have enough mean mums!

(and yes - I’m definitely a Mean Mum!)

Margaret x

I aspire to being the same kind of Mean Mum, that my Mum was to us!

She certainly ticks lots of the boxes above, and a few more choice ones too … but I managed to be a fairly well adjusted adult I hope.

One thing I’ve noticed since I got BC is that it would be so very easy to be a Softy Mum, giving in for an easy life and to keep the peace rather than deal with challenging behaviour … but in the long run it’ll make things tougher I know, so I’ll be sticking with what I know best. Being a Mean Mum!

Rebecca

How lovely to read, some things brought tears to my eyes and others made me laugh but not a truer word spoken. I am pleased to say that i also am a mean mum and proud to follow in my late mothers footsteps. Among all the things we are mean for doing (for the good of our kids) don’t forget the ferrying round to all the various activities we do that keep our our children occupied and keep them off the streets. All I can say is that Mean Mums are among the best.

Happy Mothers Day to you all tomorrow x x x
Sandra x x

I too am a mean mum, and as i tell my children i am fighting my breast cancer so i can interfer in their lives till they are at least well into their 60,s.

hi all, think im in the mean mum mode too (i get it from my mum and my nana) who btw is 90 on the 7th march.............im also not afraid to use the bc card with my 2 girls either they do somethink i dont approve of and they answer back i just point to my left breast and cough, works everytime.and the poem…loved it they whoever wrote it must be related to my mum…caroleann

Hi Margaret
Like you lost my mum, for me 3 years ago, one day she was here the next gone, awful time. She tried to be a ‘mean’ mum as I have too, not always easy or a success for the both of us, still have one child at home(well he’s 20) and god it is still soo relevant. I can relate to the poem, thanks for posting it.
Have a good w/e
love Alicex

Thanks for posting the poem Margaret - especially before Mother’s Day. It certainly made me chuckle - I shall show it to my sons tomorrow and see if they agree!

What an interesting poem.
My mum was many of the above things mentioned but she was also very gentle patient and generous.
Its 4 yrs today that the hospice rang and we were told mum hadnt got long tio live. She died on the 3rd. It would have been hers and dads 50th wedding anniversary today. These next few days i will be thinking of her so much.
Its tough with mothers day being slap bang in the middle on the 2nd. However i am a mum to 3 girls. I havent always been mean infact sometimes i am too soft but they have all grown up into wonderful adults.
So i will enjoy mothers day its what my mum would want.
Just off to the cemetery to put flowers there, only thing mum would be furious about is the price of the darn things.

Take Care
Rx

Hi everyone

Came across Margaret’s words which so pulled at my heartstrings, as I lost my dear Mum over 30yrs. ago and reading them brought back so many fond memories of those early years which helped to shape my future, although sadly she never got to see my adult life.

I like to think my teenage son sees me as maybe the ‘Mean Mum’ sometimes but ALWAYS, one tempered with love and a ‘listening ear’ - I always say that’s what Mums do! It was certainly what mine did.

Guess it is always going to be a poignant time for those of us who have lost our Mums.

Thankyou Margaret for the poem, a reminder that I am definitely ’ turning into my Mum’ which cannot be such a bad thing for my son!

Love Seren X

I have only just seen this Margaret, how fab! I will be sharing this with my sons…

Louise x

Hi not long been on this site!! This really made me cry!!! Have always been 'one bXXX of a mother" even until last Friday when my mum was DX!! Since then been a bit CHAVTASTIC !! Will getback to normal with immediate effect!!! Gruel for breakast!! AGAIN!
Love to all you ladies- you are all the support I have XXXXXXXX