I was in the supermarket and bumped into a friend I had not seen for a while,
it was my second outing wearing my wig, she screeched out loud “Oh my God What have you done to your hair?”, to which I quietly replied “Its a wig” before I got chance to tell her why I was wearing a wig she started tugging at it saying “Never!”. After I had retreived my crowning glory from her mitts, albeit a bit lopsided I explained that I had breast cancer and then was even more amazed at her reply “Well you never did do things by half did you! Must go me and OH are going for the flu jab!”
A sorry to hear that would have been nice, but never mind another one off the Christmas card list this year!
Jillianxx
Dear All
Oh wow, the things people do! Mind you I quite like being an inspiration, showing humour and quiet courage, being brave and admirable and ALL that whilst looking so stunningly well! I have never had such nice things said to me in my life!!! How do we do it?
Ho ho
Dilys
xxxx
Oh Dilys, you do make me laugh. That was funnier than some of the stories themselves. 'Tis true though, compliments abound - perhaps we should be more grateful for these kind words!!!
Love and hugs
Ali
x
When I was first dx’d I had the expected responses of people showing their concern and giving good wishes.
One particular male colleague was standing with his male work partner and said. ‘Hello Carol, we have heard about your breast cancer, so sorry to hear of this, of course did you know that John and my partner died of breast cancer so we know how you feel’
Well I smiled and laughed inside and just hoped he realised later what he had said. If he did I bet he wish the ground had opened up and swallowed him.
It just made me smile again to recall the event!
Carol
I’ve just remembered a classic that was said to me by a male colleague when I was first diagnosed with bc :
"How come it wasn’t picked up when you had a smear test ? "
This man is 35, married, and - I thought - quite intelligent.
Julie xx
Brilliant Julie, that must be the best!
Does he have a sex life in his marriage? His biology teacher obviously missed the spot that day!
This thread is so funny I will have to email some of these corkers to friends.
Cheers
Carol
Dear Ali, Carol and Julie
Oh my god! I am still laughing! Smear test? What??? Does the man talk to his wife? Does she talk to him? Until now I have never really believed this different planet stuff! My OH has his problems but - oh I am still laughing. Who marries them?
Ali - I am here in all my bravery, quaking in my boots at the inflation tomorrow, but looking WONDERFUL! Ho ho again.
Loads of love to all
Dilys
xxxx
Hee hee!! I was having a rubbish day and was coming on here to moan to you lovely people so you could cheer me up, and like magic here was this thread!! Thank you for that.
I have one, although nowhere near as brilliant as the smear test - men??! - one friend from uni i’d not seen for a while said “When I heard you had cancer I thought ‘Oh No!’ but then when I found out that it was breast cancer I thought well that’s alright then.” AAAARGGHHHH!!! I very nearly said yep, it’s a breeze had my boob chopped off, pumped full of crap, fat, bald, scared and miserable but really, it’s easy peasy!
xxx
Hi Lizalou
Well of COURSE it is OK. What’s a breast after all? Can you believe them?
Sleep tight my love
Dilys
xx
Really enjoyed this thread. I can relate to all the oh you look so well. My sister phoned 2 days after my chemo when I was feeling rough complaining of the worst hangover - I couldn’t imagine how sick she felt - really go on try me!!
Also a business colleague of my husband in the other night and his cow of a wife got up from her chair -came over and put her hand under my head scarf and said I can feel your fuzz - is the hair starting to grow.
I nearly fainted. Felt like punching her. Even my 11 year old son who was sitting in the room looked aghast. I said nothing and reminded myself that she is an ignorant i.e stupid insensitive woman who has no class or breeding and I won’t stoop to her level and thump her like she deserves.
But on the postive side I do look well!! Oh yeah tell that to the bags under my eyes and I’m only 37!!
I’m so glad I came across this thread - it’s really cheered me up! With all the compliments I’ve been receiving lately -“fantastic skin” (flushed by the drugs),“lovely makeup” (to hide the bags) and “lovely colour and styled hair” (wig which I’m still not confident in), I’m really worried about how I must have looked before BC - I must have been a frightening sight!
Oh God Muddy, that is sooo out of order, silly cow - surprised you kept calm, but good on you for doing so.
xxx
I have found amongst company I am also I brave, inspirational, postive and bald but have had some lovely comments eg.
“What a lovely shaped head you have”
“You look like a pencil with a rubber on the end”
“You look just like uncle Fester of the Adams family”
Best of all, let’s name names, PAT (ex colleague) said to me “oh you are just like my niece, she was really positive and cheerful when she was going through BC treatment” .
“I didn’t know about her Pat” said I “how is she now?”
“Oh she died” said Pat
As you say you just need good friends to get you through this!!!
I’ve had all the you look great and havn’t lost any weight comments plus your hair looks great you must keep that style and colour (my wig is totally different than my own hair) they must have hated how I looked before. The worst is never mind it will soon be over and at least its only breast cancer. I was dx at Easter and some people say you cant still be suffering as if I’m malingering. Keep Cheerful.
Val
Ha ha, someone said I looked like Uncle Fester too. O and what was the other fellas name that someone said, hmmmm, o yeah Senator Palpatine from Star Wars. I never laughed so much when I googled him in images. Tis uncanny.
Txx
Ladies this is great, i haven’t been on the sight for a few months now as I’m further down the line… Chemo, rads and a year into Arimadex etc. I’ve a had a good chuckle! However I’m sorry to say they don’t stop!
I’m still been told “you look really well” - yesterday in the middle of the returns queue in M&S, by a well meaning ‘friend’ that I hadn’t seen for a year or so.
But my best one was … “oh yes that’s the fashionable one at the moment isn’t it”…after telling a colleague why I wasn’t at work ******* priceless.
keep smiling ladies, you do get through it, the hair does grow back and the smiles start to be real again, not just for “them”
xxx
This is hilarious - I’ve been laughing out loud. My BIG bug bear has also been ‘keep your chin up’. My mum said it whilst actually tapping me on the chin, and when some friends sent some flowers with ‘chin up’ on the accompanying card I had to throw it away (altho’ not the flowers obviously!)
I have always been slim and struggle to keep weight on - so I was not best impressed when a so called friend visited and said twice in half an hour - ‘oh you have lost weight, you should get some Complan’ . Yes well I have had three general anaesthetics in seven weeks and actually I’m a bit anxious about starting chemo…
I know some people just don’t know what to say, but it is new friends who I’ve met at the school gate who have been amazing. Some mums who I didn’t even know that well have just said ‘we’ve been thinking of you’ and that has meant so much - while one who I’ve only known for about a year came into hospital to wash my hair, has been shopping for me, helped me choose a wig, and has just been fab.
As a previous postee said my Christmas list also will look very different this year!
Hi - what a good thread !
Like everybody else I have been told it’s great that I have kept my sense of humour - they don’t see me sitting crying . That I look great bald and got a good shape of head. I look really well - put on over a stone and don’t like it but nothing I can do. They are surpised how well I look but like you say it’s the make up and the kick up the a*** you give yourself to carry on.
The best is my "friend " who has used my illness to tell her husband she is out with me but meeting another bloke - apparently even before my diagnosis I had been many places with her - without my knowledge of course. The day I went for my diagnosis she told her husband she was with me !! Then the other week she had had a row with her husband and accused me of not being there for her lately !!! and I didn’t know what she was going through at home. I replied if I had a choice I think I would prefer a row with my hubby than breast cancer. She only texts me when she needs info on my condition I suppose this is because she is supposed to be with me and needs to tell her hubby something !! As you can imagine I don’t tell her anything.
Another one is the sister in law. Seen her twice since coming out of hospital in June !!! Had 2 cards off her saying she is thinking of me !! only lives about 5 miles away !!
Anyway - rant over !!
Liz xx
Hi all,
Friends - Split into 2 camps
Firstly - Those practical mates who know where the kettle is and will wash up without tutting and making you feel lazy.
Will turn up with a bottle of wine and the latest nail polish just to paint your toes and have a girle chat.
Will turn out to take you half way across the city and wait whilst you have your treatment. These are good mates and definately worth keeping.
Secondly - Those that turn up and ask you a barrage of stupid questions that make you feel knackered by the time they have left. You usually know who these mates are going to be after thier first visit. Don’t encourage them round again or at least until after your treatment.
Unfortunately the first group will be small in number, but they are the diamonds without whom I think this journey would have been completely unbearable.
Adrienne
Hey what everyone!
I have the best shaped head ever! Tee hee. And do I want some hair to cover it? Oh yes I do!
Aren’t people great?
Much love
Dilys
xx