Introducing myself

Hello everyone

I’ve been lurking for a couple of days and thought I’d finally say hello. I’m 32, married with no children and on Friday 11 April my world fell apart.

I’d found a lump in mid-March but didn’t think too much but saw my GP the following day who referred me to the breast clinic and she didn’t seem to think it was anything to worry about. I got my appointment for 2 April and wasn’t worried. We went and saw the consultant and she did an ultrasound and a core biopsy. We got a call to say that hadn’t shown anything but breast tissue and they’d need to do it again but use ultrasound to guide them, so we went back last Tuesday and they did the same again. We went back on Friday for the results and hadn’t really contemplated that it could be anything serious… and these things never happen to you. The consultant didn’t mess around and came straight out and said it was a tumour and I didn’t really hear anything else. They sent us off to have an ultrasound on my armpit and a chest x-ray and then home to read through all the information they’d given us.

I’ve got an appointment to see the Oncologist tomorrow afternoon and I’m having a sentinel node biopsy on Friday.

Anyway, they seem to suggest that treatment will involve having chemotherapy first and they’re keen to get on with everything, but having not yet seen the consultant I don’t really know what’s going on. Having read through all the threads everyone seems to know what grade and type they’ve got. All I know is what they told me on Friday which I didn’t really hear (and I know they didn’t tell me grades or types or anything).

I’m generally a very positive person and although Friday was the worst day of my life I’ve managed to be quite positive so far, but wavering slightly this afternoon at seeing the consultant tomorrow.

That’s all really - just wanted to say hello!

Hi Neleh

Welcome to the forums. I am posting to let you know that Breast Cancer Care have published a Resource Pack, it has been designed for anyone newly diagnosed with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and various treatments, it is available via the following link or by contacting the helpline: You may find our helpline useful to call to talk through the specific concerns about treatment possibilities that you may have, they can talk to you about our other support services too and also offer support, information and a ‘listening ear’. The number to call is 0808 800 6000 Monday - Friday, 9am - 5pm, Saturday, 9am - 2pm. I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Hi Nelah,
sorry to hear your news and that you’ve had to join us. Don’t worry about not knowing your grade/type tumour, that bit comes later when they’ve sent the tumour off for testing. You get info gradually as they do the various tests. Jot down all the things you want to ask the consultant and write down his answers, appts are always so stressful you can never remember what they said or what you wanted to to ask. Also ask if you can meet the breast care nurse, there should be one & normally they are very supportive & good at answering questions. Try not to do too much internet trawling as most of us seem to find it can scare us often unneccessarily. Take one day at a time, you will have wobbly/tearful times, that is quite normal. Have a good cry if you need to it normally helps. Wishing you all the best with your appt tomorrow & sentinel node biopsy on friday, keep us posted as to how you’re doing.
Sending you my best wishes,
Rivergirl x

Hi Neleh

I’m now 29 but was 28 when diagnosed last feb 07 and am also married with no children. I am so so sorry you are having to go through all this too. As Rivergirl says, you will find out more information as you go along and it is helpful to have some questions in mind. But also, as everything will feel so overwhelming have someone with you too as sometimes I forgot what they had said to me as to be honest you are probably in shock and will be for a while. Try and take it a day at a time and be kind to yourself.
I had surgery first, full mastectomy and node clearance, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and am now having herceptin. Each treatment programme is invidual and specifically down to the type of cancer they find and your own situation so don’t worry too much about what other people seem to be having or not having.
Do you have a breast care nurse? When I was diagnosed she was incredibly helpful as she helped me navigate the appointments and the whole raft of information I was given.
I can honestly say that the first few weeks were a total blur for me, and in some ways the worst time of all of this as you don’t know what you’re dealing with or what to expect. It is terribly frightening and seemed totally surreal. Lean on those who love you and take it slowly, you can get through it. Each step is another little victory against this bl88dy b9stard disease. They have found it now, and will be working out what is going to be the best way to treat it for you.
People on here are very supportive so please let us know how you’re doing.

Liz x

Sorry you have had to join us here, but good luck for Friday. As the others say the grade/type/status stuff will filter out as and when they have that information. If you think you have missed something along the line ask your breast care nurse… everyone here swears by them, I personally have only seen mine tiwce (at oncology appointments) but that’s down to me having an easy go at this BC, very few problems and very few questions. If I had anything to ask I’m sure she would be the one with the answers.

Coming on this site at the early stage can be both helpful and scary … so much information is available here but it can be so easy to relate every symptom and condition to yourself and scare yourself witless. Every case is different and every treatment plan is individual. Good luck with your journey.

hi neleh,
as comment above says every treatment plan is different. i had chemo before surgery,then mastectomy,recon and now moving on to 5 weeks rads and then a year of herceptin. a bit of advice stick to the uk websites as i didnt and scared myself
sh…less for a while. good luck and best wishes and please keep us all posted on yr progress throughout treatment.
take care

Hi neleh

the best advice I can give you is to get a copy of your path reports - they will be like double dutch at first but I finally figured out what they meant - mostly with help from this site. My bc nurse was like an angel on my shoulder - always there in the hospital when I had two surgeries, and at the end of the phone. Sadly, she has now recently retired and the hospital are under stress and waiting to get 2 new ones.

Take care,

I’m so sorry Neleh - it’s a frightful shock, isn’t it? I’m a couple of months further down the line than you are and I remember the moment when the diagnostician told me, over an ultrasound, the bad news, and I assure you it was by far the worst moment throughout all this, op included. So there is only ‘up’ in front of you.

I’m Finland-resident, so I’ve been very dependent on this site to fill me in on stuff I haven’t understood, or forgotten to ask the medics here - it’s been great. Sometimes too much info, as people have said, but only because there is only so much any of us wants to, or can, face at the one time. Most likely you won’t have to, so stick to the stage you’re at. You are already very lucky, as I notice that much of your mail talks of ‘we’ - seeing the consultant, hearing the results, going for unltrasound - it’s not universal. It sounds like you’ve got a wonderful buddy in your partner - you’re blessed.

Best wishes, M-L

Neleh -
welcome. I am also sorry that we all have to meet here. But since you are here, take advantage of the wonderful information. As everyone above me has said, stick to your own stage. I am at the chemo stage right now, going into my third chemo treatment. Have not dared to look at the surgery posts yet – there will be time.
If chemo is going to be part of your treatment, please read the post with the tips. They are great! Feel free to rant, rave, scream, and count your blessings to all of us as you move along in your journey.

Waiting is really hard. We are with you!


Thanks everyone. At work this morning keeping myself busy and then to see the oncologist this afternoon. Mixture of feelings… scared at what they’ll say but pleased that we’re moving along and taking some action.

Nel x

Hi Neleh

Good luck for this afternoon, be thinking of you.
Stay positive
Luv Mel x

Hi all

Well appointment this afternoon went well and feeling very positive. Oncologist was lovely! Anyway, put my mind at rest and said it’s not “that large” - about 3cm. I’d had real worries as the first consultant we saw at the breast clinic said it was “quite large”. It’s grade 3 and not oestrogen sensitive. She did suggest chemo first and talked us through everything but has suggested we are referred to Birmingham Women’s Hospital first to talk about egg preservation for the future, which will delay everything by about six weeks, but she didn’t seem to think that would be a problem. So, feeling good and just got to get over the sentinel biopsy tomorrow now!

Thanks for all your support!

Hi Neleh,

I was diagnosed in mid July I had a grade 3 like you and took option of chemo first I had EC and Taxotere, but everyone has different treatment regimes, it shrunk down really well and have had lumpectomy in one op then further op recently to get better margins and full lymph clearence.
I got results of that all today, margins now clear, and only one lymph node was slightly affected, chemo has killed all off and now they are all removed . Next step rads.

Take it one step of the time that was the best advice I was given by a friend in same position, concentrate on step your in and try not to worry too much about whats to come. My breast nurse has been brill and always try to write down what you want to know and what they say after your app cos it so easy to forget or get muddled. I kept a notebook and file of info, So many new words and terms which we would really rather not know about, but now have to.
This site is brill for support advice, and to share hopes, fears and worries, we all have them.
Ask what ever you need to know or are worried about and Im sure someone can help
Egg preservation sounds a good plan,
Good luck with Sentinal node biopsy tomorrow, let us know how you get on, I did not have that.

I am a positive person and have tried to hold onto that, although hard at times, keep hold of that it reallly has helped me.
Take care

Dawn X

Hi neleh,
so pleased you got on ok today with the onc, hoping it all goes smoothly for you tomorrow.I had sentinel node biopsy which was ok, just had a bright blue nipple for a while! my tumour was grade 3 too, i had lumpectomy, chemo & rads, finished treatment in feb, went back to work mid march, enjoying being back. Its a longish journey, not always easy but doable. Take care of yourself, i’ll be thinking of you tomorrow,
best wishes

Hi Neleh
As has been said every one has varied treatments, but I have noticed we all have same reactions ie mood swings, teary etc, keep the positivity up and your family /friends close. Other than that vent your feelings here ,there is always someone who can relate to you.