Well, I will start by saying that I am a a conciencous person who does not lay about feeling sorry for myself and try as hard as I can to get my housework done in the mornings so I can chill out in the afternoons. I have noticed that since my initial diagnosis in May that the amount of help i have been getting has been decreasing with every passing moment! My lot obviously are too used to having me at home doing everything they seem to have given up!! We have had the discussion ‘I would like you to want to help me’ not just when i ask. Nothing seems to be working. I could sit on my bum and say well i am not doing it, which i have tried but the only one to suffer is me, because i can’t stand the mess. I am not an obsessive cleaner i just like a general state of tidiness and everyone to take responsiblity for their own mess. “Put the Milk Back” “hang your coat up” “put your dirty washing in the basket” AAAAARRRRRRRGHHHHHHH it is really getting to me and i think I am probably taking it too personally as I wish they wanted to help me but i think children and men are just not that deep and probably are just lazy and too used to me doing it.
Well thats my moan over with for today, I am off to sit on the sofa trying to avoid the school bags all over the floor on the way past!! LOL
Gaynor p
x
We sometimes have a ‘sweep’. Which means everyone has to come and help, and we all tidy up a different room, or I stand there and say ‘take those up to Sam’s room’, take this pile of washing and put it on my bed’, ‘put those shoes away’ etc. Everyone has to keep coming back until I say we’re finished!! (They will try to sneak back to their rooms or into the loo!) This is great as there’s no rows about who’s done the most, and it gets done properly as I’m telling everyone what to do.
I’ve given up expecting anyone to take an interest in ongoing tidyness - I think you’re right about kids and men! they seem to be missing a gene or something.
Good luck.
Jacquie
Thanks Jacksy
I like the sound of that, I can take command from one central point and have everyone rushing about til the jobs done.
Also as you say its a fair way to do it as they just keep coming back till the work is finished. I think I will allocate Saturday morning and give it a go.
Thanks again.
Gaynor
Hi Gaynor p
Gosh how alike we seem to be. I have a system similar to Jaquie, it works!
Mind you I have done something awful over the weekend.
My son is on holiday in Malta and we have an ongoing battle over what he sees as cleaning his bedroom.
I went into his room on Friday and tried to ignore the dust and the fact his carpet cannot be seen for disc’s, clothes (Particularly socks) and pots.
He is 22 and so I should not interfere in his private world. But no its my house! So I cleared his room of the offending articles on the floors, took out the games, dvds and cds. Blimey this sounds bad doesn’t it! Well he can have it all back when he comes home ( I don’t want it stuck in my bedroom for long!) providing he thoroughly cleans the room and puts every thing back in place. I know this will take forever but perhaps if he does the hard work he will understand what cleaning really is.
From past experience it will be back to square one in two weeks but still he’s a lovely lad he’s always been the same and unlike his sister he will not get nagged out of the house.
Carol
Hi Ladies,
How lucky am I, three teenage sons, who all look after their own rooms (do have to venture into the eldests to retrieve cups and glasses), also do their own washing, well if they left it up to me it would never get done! (I was working some weird hours prior to dx).
Best of all when I returned from my first chemo session, they had cleaned the house from top to bottom. So although I felt rough after the chemo, didn’t have to worry about the housework.
Next one on Wednesday, so have to see if the housework fairies come again!
Take care all
Maggie x
Hi there,
reading this thread brought me back some memories - bedrooms with pots growing new life-forms, me “stealing” favourite jeans once tey’re asleep - and getting them washed/ dried and back on the floor before morning!
It seemed to me that they were always very helpful when I was sick enough to be confined to bed, but the moment I was up they saw me as well, and stopped.
When they were teenagers I deided that, if they devised the work rota, then maybe they would keep to it … no prizes who had 99% of the chores to do … but yes ladies, it is your home and they do need to respect your standards. When they pay all the bills is when they have the right to be as messy as they like - and, i bet you that their homes are as spotless as you tried to keep yours.
Just before my chemo started they came to “tidy mum’s flat” … four weeks later i still can’t find things!!!
Oh Gaynor, how I can relate to this !
I distinctly remember my husband telling our girls when I was first diagnosed (they are 14 and 10 by the way), that as Mum was going to be not her usual self for the next few months, then they would all have to help with housework/dishes/general tidying up. The first few weeks were great, then gradually I think they all got fed up with it, and particularly as I was going into work as much as I could, they obviously thought “oh Mum’s ok !”. In fact I was absolutely shattered, but was still running around doing the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning ! Since my chemo finished on 31st August, I think they all think I’m better now (including my own Mum who used to hoover for me every Thursday - that’s stopped too!).
Anyway, I’m in hospital tomorrow for my mastectomy so they’ll have to cope without me for a week - I’m looking forward to the rest to be honest !
Of course, I’ve taken the day off work today so I can clean the house from top to bottom, make sure all the washing and ironings done, etc etc - more fool me eh ?
What would they do without us ? I’ll let you know the answer to that when I come out of hospital next week !
Lots of love to you all
Julie xx