My chemo finished August 2017 and radiotherapy 2017. I still have chemo brain, I’m still really tired, not able to exert myself at all. Not only that I seem to dread to coming year with thoughts of “this time last year …”. Is it me? For the most part I’m very positive but when I’m having a bad day and someone says “keep positive” is it just me that wants to punch them in the face?
Hi Gruffalo,
I think many of us are reminded of the time of our diagnosis each year and think it natural given it’s breast cancer! Particularly regarding the one year check up tests and scans etc, it still feels very close in time. Additionally, if you still have chemo fog it is natural you will feel reminded of bc since you are living with it daily.
As time goes on (I am now nearly 4 years on post diagnosis) I feel more positive around diagnosis time of the year, it more being a reminder of the time it was caught, and that I recovered/reached a slightly new normal.
I agree the keep positive line can be irritating, I guess you just need to try to think the person who said it means well and probably just doesn’t really get it (at all). While I didn’t have chemo I did get severe anaemia after radiotherapy, and had bad fatigue for quite some time. The line that frustrated me was when people said they too felt tired, as though not understanding the total difference between your battery being on low charge as compared with having been yanked out of the power socket on empty! I compared fatigue to the feeble fading bleep of a mobile phone when it’s about to switch off, run out of zap etc and semi joked about going into plod mode…I found most people seemed to get it, when conveyed in those terms.
When I returned to work someone made a casual comment that I “just needed to get back into a routine”, in response to my saying I still felt tired/had fatigue from treatment. I felt like highlighting I hadn’t had a broken limb, but had had cancer…and somewhat gruffly replied I never lost my routine through cancer.
So yes, it’s a totally natural response you feel!
Have you tried gently building up via doing yoga, or going for a walk regularly etc. I know it doesn’t transform anyone, but it may help you feel slightly better slightly quicker?
Also so worth bearing in mind the the winter has dragged on so long most people, even those without cancer diagnosis, are feeling a bit gruff now and then and in need of spring, sunbeams, and unfurling leaf buds.
I hope 2018 see’s you pick up more energy and the chemo fog lift or at least become thinner.
All the best Seabreeze.
xxx
Thank you so much for sharing with me. I know it will get better as time passes. I haven’t tried yoga perhaps I need to. I try and walk the dog but I think I need to build up my stamina. I will get there ??? Xx
I will certainly check out BCC moving forward. I think I probably need a shove in the right direction. Thank you so much for your help xx
No, I know it’s not just you it’s me too and probably a lot of other folks. When I went to my sister-in-law, because we were neighbors, and admitted that I had been really sad, spoke about how hard everything was, her response was “but aren’t you glad you’re alive?“. My face went blank and I walked out the door. My ex, her brother was just about as deeply supportive, so I have since divorced the entire family and I am much better off for it - even better than a punch in the face 
Good for you. I have to say that did make me smile ?. How strong are you girl! Well done you. ?