Hello everyone,
I’m new here & I’ve never been on a forum before so apologies if I get anything wrong.
I’m hoping someone can help me process the anger I am currently feeling regarding biopsy to results timeline. I had my 1st routine mammogram 24/07. On 07/08 am, I noticed a lump & arrived home that same afternoon to a recall for abnormality on 11/08 (coincidence). I asked outright & they said I had very suspicious masses that were highly unlikely to be anything but cancer. 3cm & 0.7cm in same quadrant. Told me biopsy will tell us what type etc.
I called the BCN on Friday & she said my case should have been on the previous Friday’s MDT (21/08) but further tests were required so I was on 28/08 MDT. I asked if someone could call me with the results after & she said that admin will call me next week to arrange an appointment the following week - w/c 7th September!
She said it’s policy to deliver results face to face only. I said it feels cruel to have to wait that long for the results when they have them - it is my body. She said there are lots of women & the admin team need to schedule them in.
I feel angry because if I slipped a week for MDT then I feel they should have had an appointment slot ready for me next week. Assuming I receive an appointment for 08/09 - that will be 28 days since biopsy.
It’s excruciating and disconcerting that they know what my life will be like for the foreseeable but withhold that information from me for over a week when I’m able to process at least the cancer yes/no confirmation over the phone - the nurse agreed, having met me already, but it is a one policy for all.
I don’t want to complain as it will only take time away from patients if they have to deal with my fuss + I don’t want them giving me someone else’s appointment. But I can’t seem to get past this feeling of injustice. I need to be informed to cope with this - that is the way my brain works since my occupational burnout last year.
I would really like to know if I’m being unreasonable/selfish in my feelings. I’ve been stewing all weekend over it so any tips on getting past this would be appreciated. Thank you
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Oh bless you @louise18 you are most definitely allowed to feel however you feel! Everyone will tell you that the waiting for results and a treatment plan is one of the worst parts about the journey we are all on. It’s excruciating having this hanging over you and we all know how you feel.
Your team will absolutely be doing their best for you and looking at stuff behind the scenes but I know how frustrating it is - it was almost a relief when my cancer was confirmed after the waiting. I too am a want to know everything now and all the ins and outs but they will want to make sure your case is fully discussed and they can come up with and present your treatment plan to you tailored to you. It’s so difficult waiting but it shouldn’t make any difference to your treatment timings ultimately.
In the meantime you are allowed to feel as you feel - keep posting on here everyone is so supportive and helpful. You can also message direct to the breast care nurses on here. Try and distract yourself if you can and do things to relax - take a walk, a nice bubble bath, watch movies whatever can take your spinning mind off of it even for a short while.
We do all understand here what you are going through. I found having some counselling through Macmillan very helpful and there are other organisations too you can speak to - I’m sure someone will post the links for you. There are all sorts of ways to access the help, not just face to face but online, by phone etc.
Good luck I hope you get your appointment very very soon - and keep posting. Your feelings are just that - your feelings and it’s absolutely ok to feel what you do xxx
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Hi @louise18 i am sorry that you are going through this process and as @surreydeb said the waiting is by far the worst part! Especially when you kinda already know you have cancer from the previous comments I had the same. But honestly the doctors and nurses are doing things as fast as they can but with all the facts the facts they can gather from your test results and in their MDT’s. With cancer there is a set timescale they have to meet so they will never go beyond these.
And look it is all fucking shit that you and all of us are having to go through this and you should and will be angry! No one here thinks thats an incorrect feeling to have, anything you are feeling is very normal!
But as soon as you get those results you may have some more tests just to make sure they have all the facts they need, so there may be a little more waiting before treatment, but they need to get the full “dna” of a cancer to make sure they give the correct treatment for it. It is all very important and yes very frustrating as you just want the fuckers out of your body. But you will get there with the best that they can give you.
Doesn’t help this has fallen over a bank holiday for you. But lots of walks, films and tv (gilmore girls was my go to on Netflix) that you dont have to do much thinking with to distract you. I was you literally a year ago 
Sending lots of positive thoughts and keep talking, these forums have been a massive lifeline for me and I have made life long friends here.
Hey @louise18
When I was first diagnosed, I had a telephone appointment already booked for the results two weeks after the biopsy as they were expected to be benign, however they changed it a few days before to a face to face appointment. This made me absolutely spiral and this was only for a few days so I can’t imagine how bad it must be to feel like this for almost a month!
It does sound like they want to have all the information they can so they make sure you know exactly what’s going on but in your situation, I would much prefer to just be told whether it is actually cancer and then I’d be ok with figuring out the details afterwards.
When I was in a mess waiting for those initial results, I phoned the Macmillan helpline just to get out the anxiety. The nurse I spoke to was so lovely that I just cried down the phone to her for over an hour! She was incredibly understanding and it really helped me feel a lot better so you could maybe try this or the Breast Cancer Now helpline.
I hope you get your appointment and the waiting is over for you really soon. x
Hi @louise18 im so sorry you are going through all this. It is absolutely awful waiting for news that you know could change so much. I lost count of how much I was left in the waiting room and it was excruciating. I always thought how unfair it was that on a computer somewhere were resuts of mine and I was powerless to know what they were. If only id learnt to be a computer hacker haha. The reality is even if I could find the results I wouldn’t be able to make heads or tails of them and Id need the experts to bring me in and explain everything. That’s the reason they give news face to face because they have to explain really complex stuff to us. Try to have faith in your team because they are the ones that will be getting you through all this. From your doctor down to the receptionist they are on your side. Thats not to say you should take your eye off the ball completely, if any of us have learnt anything its that you have to advocate for yourself. Everything is such a balance.
I remember one of the nurses saying to me, do what we ask and let us build this road map of whats going on in your breasts so we can treat you properly. Every test and every wait is leading to them knowing exactly how they can fix you. Providing they need to obviously. All of what you feel now will pass, whether thats good news or challenging news, once they have a clear idea of whats going on and get you on some kind of plan you will feel less anxious we can all promise you that 
As others have said above, try as hard as you possibly can to make the most of your time. Keep distracted. The results arent going to change if you sit there stewing in agony over things. You really have to force yourself up and out if you can. Its bank holiday and currently in the UK it isnt raining which is a huge win. If I was back in your position now id be taking myself to the local woods to walk under the trees for a bit. Really breath in some good oxygen. What ever calms you and used to make you happy, go do it
Big hugs x
@surreydeb - Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. After a sleepless night I have pin-pointed the reason for my anger. It is largely due to my ADHD not understanding why they did not have an appointment booked for me next week - that would be a logical step to reduce the agony of me knowing they know but potentially waiting 2 weeks to find out myself.
I’ve returned to my childhood coping strategy - I’ve written them a polite letter asking that they review the appointment booking processes so that MDT to results appointment time is reduced. e.g. they book appointments once they know a patient is on MDT for the following week.
I will give it to them after my results appointment if I still feel it is important to address.
This has helped my brain move on because I have an action plan. I am also cleaning and tiding like crazy today so my home is a sanctury for the road ahead.
You are very kind and I am pleased to meet you 
Have a great day!
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Thank you so much @mssteel . I have seen on here that many women like yourself had their appointments lined up - that at least gives you a date. I am sorry your case turned out to not be the news you expected 
I think pre-planned appointment would have greatly reduced my anxiety so I have written them a polite letter asking them to review their appointment process.
That has helped me to move on from it today. Still a little frustrated but nowhere near as bad as last few days.
It is lovely to meet you and I thank you kindly for your words and advice. I hope one day I can offer support to others whilst I learn on this journey with you all.
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Thank you @foxgem . Funnily enough I had same thoughts of hacking 
Advocating for myself as I live alone is good advice also - albeit I am not very good at it - guess I will have to learn quickly!
“This too will pass” is a term I need to repeat. I am keeping myself busy preparing my home and I have Gym later so I can output some frustration there.
I only started at the gym (after losing 5 stone) 6 weeks ago and I am sad that that may be difficult/impossible soon. I have a wonderful trainer though so no matter what I will find a way to continue with my healthy eating and exercise.
Have a great day today and I hope the weather is not too bad where you are. I’m in Devon and started out with blue skys but overcast now. A break in the rain at least 
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Hi @louise18 I’m glad you’ve found a way to deal with it - keeping busy will help and writing it all down is a great idea - whether you hand it in or not. Glad you’re feeling a little better. Keep posting we really do all understand here xx
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Hi All,
An update. The clinic called me this morning to say they are so busy they have added a special Saturday clinic. So I have my appointment early Saturday morning.
I feel bad for thinking bad of them but also super relieved to have a date & time now.
It is endearing to know that the team work overtime for us when needed. 
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That is amazing news. Great work @louise18!
@louise18 thats great! Must be a big relief for you xx
Hello,
I received my results today. Provisional grade 2 IDC / ER+ HER2-.
I‘m having therapeutic mammoplasty on Thursday! Provided the surgery biopsy results are good (staying positive as no sign on US), I’ll have radiotherapy and endocrine therapy. After the breast settles, they can look into any symmetry needs for the right breast. For now, we focus on getting rid of the cancer, of course.
I prepared for the worst but hoped for the best, and although not a benign result, I still feel very positive about these results and the treatment path.
The clinic staff were excellent, and I feel awful about my moaning on here. I now see, as others have said, that they are working very hard to give us the best care. They even worked overtime on a Saturday (especially appreciated as it was a sunny day, which we have not had for many weeks ) to get results to us as soon as possible.
I have complete faith in the team to look after me.
For those awaiting test results and reading this - Yes, the waiting is agonising & I wish there was a quicker way I found that preparing for either outcome (surgery/chemo) kept me busy - i.e.preparing my home, training colleagues for cover etc. It gave me some sense of control. I’m glad I did, as in my case surgery is just 5 days away!
Wishing everyone the very best in their journey
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Hi @louise18
I think it’s really great that you took control of the situation and were able to get your results and also five days to surgery is extremely quick. I was impressed with mine at 4 weeks.
Don’t feel bad for “moaning” here either. That’s what the forum’s for. All the best for your surgery and keep us updated on your progress if you’d like to. x
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@louise18 so glad you’re feeling better and have a quick surgery date. Let us know how it goes if you’d like to xx
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All the best for today @louise18. x
Thank you so much. It is so kind of you to think of me today.
I have awoken with a good fighting spirit and ready to kick this cancer out!
I met my surgeon yesterday who is lovely. He may have some challenges with my nipple so he’s prepared me for those possibilities. I do of course have some feelings of sadness & concern about how I will look but ultimately I want the cancer out. I am preparing my mind to see those scars as battle scars - a reminder of how cancer tried to get me but I fought back!
I will let you know how it went as soon as I am feeling up to it.
Have a lovely day xxx
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Hope all goes well today xx
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Surgery went very well. No drains or pumps and nipple is saved. I am very lopsided (left boob reminds me of my 20’s before the droop 
) but will have right boob sorted next year. Overall I am very grateful and the hospital were amazing. Shed my first tear on the way to operating theatre as it was the last moment before my body changed.
Pain is very manageable. In fact the most painful areas are the lymph node incision and my throat which feels like having tonsillitis.
The nausea after waking was not pleasant but passed by morning. Slept ok with a wedge pillow. Anaesthetic effects have eased as day gone on.
Overall I feel happy that it is over and keeping everything crossed for good pathology results.
Hopefully some sunny weather tomorrow as I hope to go for a light walk in the fresh air. Thank you to everyone for helping supporting me on this journey xxx
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