is there light at the end of tunnel?

I had a rollercoaster year, diagnosed with BC this year in JAN.iT Mammogram 6 months ago was negative.I discovered the lump myself.It was 2 cm grade 3 with LN clear. I had 6 mths of chemo.soon I discovered that I was BRACA1 positive. My mum died of breast cancer when 47. Hers was advanced at the time of diagnosis.She died after 9 months.My memories of all her suffering has come back. I feel tearful.I underwent prophylactic ovaries removal with uterus as well a month ago. I am due for other breast removal with reconstruction next year.why life is so unfair with some people?

Hi Neelima

I am sorry to read of the difficult past year you have had and just wanted to let you know of some support services run by Breast Cancer Care which may help you to manage how you are feeling right now.

We have a confidential freephone helpline which is open Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm on 0808 800 6000, you are welcome to call for support, information or just a ‘listening ear’ if you are finding it hard to cope or just need to offload. You may also find our ‘Peer support’ helpful, this involves you being put in touch with someone, by telephone, of a similar age and diagnosis to you so that you have the chance to talk to someone who has some understanding of what you are going through. Details of this and other support can be found under the ‘Support for you’ tab at the top of this page or our helpliners will be happy to talk to you about it.

I hope this is of some help to you and I am sure other users will be along soon to offer support too.

Best wishes

Lucy
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care

Hi Neelima

Really sorry you are having such a horrific time. I am so sorry about your mum too.

Hang in there as sometimes all the bad shit makes way for all the better times. It must be extremely painful emotionally. Take each day as it comes and go with how you are feeling but do try and be as positive as you can as it really does help. I hope you have close family and friends to support you through this.

I have had nothing on your scale of bad things and haven’t got cancer but had to watch my dear sister die age 35 in march 2 months before I got married, then 2 months later found I was brac1 and then 1 month later was advised i should have double mastectomy, my cat got really ill, my work got restructured and job completely changed all within about 7 months! I have my surgery dec31st and know I am lucky to have a choice. It does feel like everything is dark and unfair.

Do realize that even though your mum died it doesn’t mean you will. So many people make full recovery from bc. I completely understand that you feel very frightened and having watched a loved one die maybe have little confidence. Be strong and you will get through this.

Take care and Good luck

Lots of hugs and positive vibes

Katie xxx

Hi Neelima

sending you hugs, this BC is a rotten ride to be on, especially when it churns up memories. Please also remember you’re still recovering from surgery, and that doesn’t help.

My mother was told she had breast cancer in february 2002, after they found cells in her bone marrow (she was being treated for something else at the time), they then did a scan and discovered there were also secondaries in her liver. At the Easter both my sisters and I went to stay and we had a glorious time together. We had days out - Mum was doing really well, just a little jaundiced. A month later we were together again and with her when she died.

Last year I went to live with my father during the wek after he was diagnosed with terminal secondary cancer of the bones (my sister took over at weekends), beginning of march we lost him too.

A neighbour, who i had grown up with as an uncle, was diagnosed also, not long before dad died, we lost him in august. The other neighbour was also taken seriously ill in june and was not expected to live, he too died in august.

The three families were very close, had been for 47 years. Even moved together!
So, when I discovered Larry Lump in July, i told nobody. most lumps are benign and I knew my family really did not need another worry. But, when i was diagnosed on 3rd august, that had to change. Our old neighbours were not told though. I managed to miss the funerals - one was when i had a bone scan, the other when i had my ct scan. My sister covered for me.

This year, also, my younger daughter has been dx with a cervical syrinx which will probably require surgery to her neck next year. Hopefully this will be after my treatment is over so I can hep out - not least of which will be with her three young children!

So, i understand a little of where you’re coming from. If i let it be, it could be very scary. Within my family and close associates i know nobody that went into remission and, in fact, all died within months of dx! But, I am going to break the trend. Unlike them, and like you, I found the tumour quickly, and therefore treatment started early. We ARE going to get through this and we ARE going to be around for many more years yet. There’s a lot of living to do yet - so let’s get on with living and kick this cancer just where it belongs.

hugs

Ruth x x x x

Kaiecat,
thanks all for your support. You are very wise to have prophylactic mastectomy done. I wish I would have known my status earlier. In absence of living relations they wont do. Good luck for the operation.

Thats ok Neelima and thanks. Just hope your ok hun. Just know that everyone on here really does care about you. xxxxx

Ruth

you really have gone through so much already. I admire your good spirits and strength. Keep on fighting!

Best Wishes

Katie xxx