Is this me?

Public Archive
1

Hi. I’m due to have my last FEC in a couple of weeks, following 2 lumpectomies which failed to produce clear margins and a mastectomy (thankfully clear). I hit rock bottom, especially when I got the results of my 2nd lumpectomy but have since picked myself up and am now looking forward to my ‘new’ normal life, God willing. During the last few weeks I’ve written a poem to describe my journey and thought I’d share it with you. Not sure it’s very good, but it is written from the heart.

Is this me?

I look into the mirror and the woman that I see
Is a sad and lonely person, so surely that’s not me?

I look again and see the eyes so drawn and tired and grey
Within, a look of fear and pain, and a girl who’s lost her way

Her hair is gone, her lips are cracked, her skin is dry and pale
She looks at me with tear stained cheeks, her mouth lets out a wail

I look into the mirror and the woman that I see
Is a sad and lonely person, but I’m not letting her be me

In months to come I’ll look again and see a different hue
No pain, no tears, no grey tired eyes, no more, because they’re blue

Her hair is grown, her lips are full, her skin is smooth and clear
And most of all, at last thank God she’s lost that look of fear

I look again and see the scar where once her breast had been
Still livid in it’s colour, with a hard and shiny sheen

She looks at me defiantly with a look that seems to say
Yes, I may have lost my breast but I am here to stay

I look into the mirror and the woman that I see
Is a well and healthy person and that person will be me

2

Lump in throat.
You have expressed what a lot of us have lived.
Thank you

3

Tears flowing what a wonderful poem
Thanks Judyxxx

4

Very very touching hugs your way x

5

What a great poem xxx

6

Beautiful!! Only we could know. Lump in my throat, tears in my eyes. We all must recognise this so, so well. A reflection of us all and you have managed to put it in print!! Well done!
Thank you and a big hug towards recovery!
Ami xx

7

That just says it all and so beautifully. Thank you for sharing.
And here’s to many more lunches!!
Angelfalls xx

8

well done,a beautiful poem. missmessyx

9

You have put into words exactly how I felt today, tears are flowing, I went out with my best friend to find a dress for her too wear to a wedding she is soon to attend and whilst waiting for her to try a dress on I sat down on a bench in the changing room they had these huge mirrors and I could not help but stare at the strange person looking back at me, such a great description of how I feel. Thankyou.
Love and light
sarahlousie xxx

10

You should post that on the new BCC campaign website. That is so in touch with so many.

11

How beautiful that poem is. Like the rest I had a tear in my eye once I had finished reading it.

You have managed to create beautiful words and put our thoughts and feelings into an amazing poem.

Thank you

Alanaa xx

12

Absolutley stunning poem! Xxx

13

Thanks everyone, I’m touched with your comments. You are welcome to use or reproduce this poem freely. All I ask is if you want to use it in any way you pm me so I can give you my name as the writer for you to add. I posted a reply earlier to all, but put my email address on so suspect it’s been moderated. Oops!

14

Loved it and all so relative and inspirational to us all!

x

15

Very moving&emotional. Thank you for sharing. xxx

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It seems odd to say thank you for making me cry… I have been back to work a few weeks full time now and am struggling a bit, I was thinking “will I ever not be exhausted again”, but I know things are getting better and I am a little less tired than I was last week. I spend alot of time trying to forget what I have been through, so then I give myself a hard time. One day I will get the balance right Im sure, I will have moved on enough to feel comfortable without forgetting the whole experience. I’m really beginning to see that I will never get back to normal, the old me has gone for ever and it will take time to get used to this whether I like it or not.

I sometimes like to think that I have come out the other side, then something hits me and I realise that I am still on the journey :slight_smile:

Thank you

17

That is so moving I would like to show a few people this poem if that is ok with you

18

Many thanks for putting into words what we feel, but let’s all aspire to be the lady in the mirror in the last 2 lines of your verse. She is there just waiting to emerge from her chrysalis like a beautiful butterfly.

19

Just beautiful, thank you for sharing xx

20

Thank you x