Isolated and not Coping.

Hello. I coped well with a biopsy, a lumpectomy without a diagnosis and later operation to remove lymph nodes which were clear.  
radiotherapy followed.    All this happened during lockdown.  
The medical staff were amazing and I didn’t cry once.   Now that I have been given the all clear until a mammogram next Spring and continue taking Letrozole I feel awful.

I’m in my seventies and live alone.    I have a great niece who lives 4 miles away and I have friends on the phone but I feel totally isolated.   Over the weekend I couldn’t stop crying.

I can’t live like this.   my prognosis is good.   I had thyroid cancer 50 years ago and have many other chronic problems.   I look very well and I am happy to be alive but I am not coping.

Hello, reading your post made me very sad.  You have coped with medical challenges so well and the outcome is so positive.  Feel proud of that achievement and remind yourself you are now well and being monitored by the medical team.  The weekend was a release of all that pent-up emotion and crying is not a bad thing.  Allow yourself that emotion.  Be kind to yourself you’re only human !

I’ve been in isolation since the March lockdown, but fortunately have a brother & his wife who are my support bubble.  You qualify to have someone for support if you’re an adult living alone so check out who that can be.

I was diagnosed with early breast cancer in 2010 and had a mastectomy of my left breast and immediate reconstruction.  It was aesthetically very pleasing.  The cancer was confined to that breast so no need for radio- or chemo-therapy.   I was prescribed Letrozole for the following 5 years and had no adverse reaction/side effects.  Maybe contact your medical team to look to see if there’s a comparable medication which makes you feel brighter ?  You shouldn’t need to suffer unnecessarily.  Ten years later I remain well and very happy and every day thank God for that early diagnosis.  I am very fortunate and a survivor.

You are too.  BIG hugs and best wishes for remaining positive.  I’m here if you’d like to keep in touch. xx


I hear you. You are hurting and that’s normal. I have found that blogging has helped me to process everything I was and still am feeling through my investigations, diagnosis and treatment. Once the treatment is over you can feel very abandoned but also guilty for not feeling on top of the world. Add to that the Covid-19 restrictions and loneliness and isolation and bam, it really knocks you for six. You don’t feel like a warrior or a survivor. You’re just on the floor feeling battered and deflated. But you are still here, sister, and you will feel better with time. Cry as much as you need to. Then dry your eyes and notice how green the grass is and absorb the autumn colours. Just be for a bit. I find posting on forums like this helps too. Do you have children? I don’t and some time ago I joined a support group for childless women which has helped me more than I could ever have imagined. Let me know if you want the details. Sending much love to you,

Marisa x

Hi Prem

I’m so saddened by your post. Breast cancer IS very isolating. I don’t think anyone really understands the complexities, physical and emotional so, unless you are ‘fortunate’ to have a friend who’s been through it, you kind of educate friends and support as you go along. I too went through all my treatment without crying. I even spent four days in isolation with neutropoenic sepsis and couldn’t see what the fuss was about. It’s a powerful defence to help us get through but the emotions and fears are still there, locked away, ready to find the cracks just as you hope to get a break from the blessed thing.

Unfortunately, end of treatment also means end of medical support - see your GP. In the current circumstances, it’s impossible to see your GP unless it’s a dire emergency and who can describe a broken spirit after you’ve been seen going through hell without tears?

You still have access to your breast cancer care nurse and I think you should contact her and tell her exactly what you’ve said here. You are by no mean the only one and it is harder during the pandemic with support services postponed but she may know of online support. I also would recommend that you visit the website of Breast Cancer Haven.

This link is to the online classes they are running via Zoom. They are free, available to anyone with breast cancer or who has had it and some of the sessions end with personal support free of charge (eg I am trying the EFT and the course leader sends a personalised recording of positive messages to work with - it’s very helpful But the most helpful thing was logging in and realising there were four other women with the same experience as me!). But if you go to How We Can Help, you will find other things that may help you feel less alone, not just physically but in terms of getting through and surviving breast cancer.

There is nothing wrong with crying. It’s natural and it’s good and you have much to cry about. But it’s better to be able to cry with someone, isn’t it. I hope something here can help x

Prem, you have a good cry. It’s bad enough having BC as that’s isolating in itself, but Covid has just knackered everything, . You have been given some good advice on here, but you need the will to carry it out. I do think contacting your GP would be a good step just to discuss how you are feeling, and you may be able to access some good support here. Also, your BC nurse will be able to offer support. When my friend finished active treatment she very much felt cast adrift and was quite anxious not being on constant touch with the hospital. She came with me to the local Maggies Centre and was able to attend a couple of courses before lockdown happened. I think, if you can manage it, a little walk somewhere would be excellent for both your physical and mental health. Also, zoom meetings, although not ideal, are a way of continuing activities. My book club and BC support group are using these . I’ve also continued my TaiChi in isolation as my sifu posts on YouTube for anyone to follow. Have you looked at this media for any mindfulness inspiration? Let us know how you are getting on. We understand what you have been through, and are here fir you. Best wishes. X


i won.t go into the details but I had a total meltdown at the weekend. Had .clear mammogram in March six months after finishing treatment we went into lockdown immediately afterwards. That is two years of hell and at least during treatment I could see all my friends and family. Just had call from psycho-oncology team who should have seen months ago . My heart goes out to you as I live alone too . At the moment taking it an hour at a time …