Rant away, bc is sh*t for leaving us different to how we were when we didn’t choose any of this.
That said, my hair was like your post chemo all of the time and I am saddled with it forever… If its any consolation, when shorter my hair is exactly like yours is now and when longer the weight pulls it down. So it looks like two choices, keep it short (loved that short hair do linked above by the way) or let it grow so the weight pulls it down. Alternatively have you considered a reverse perm??
I guess they may be frowned upon on post-chemo hair ?? but hair straightening and hair straighteners have been my best buddies many times over the years.
PS: I escaped chemo so still have my hair but if anyone has seen my missing half a boob could I possibly have it back please? Put on a stripy top the other day which proved to me that it is REALLY obvious that they are wonky… bring on the lipofill
wow scaco your hair does look fab,seriously…mine grew back very curly and wiry and it took ages to grow out in fact I kept cutting it just to get the curl to go… i started to use morrocan oil on it and this really helped soften it and helped it to grow…
xxxx
I remember going to answer the door when my hair was just coming back in my jeans and a baggy t-shirt and the man at the door said “hello mate, blah blah”. He was selling something I think and when I spoke he twigged I was a woman and he was mortified. So was I - that was a low moment, but funny now. Losing our hair is no joke however much we pretend we don’t care.
SCACO, if you think you’ve got curls, you should take a look at mine! I really do look like a spring lamb. Sadly mine is unlikely to grow out as it was very curly before all this. So many people used to tell me how they’d love to have my curly hair… pah! You can have it then!
I always had short hair as a child because mine just grows out, not down, as you’re all finding out. I then spent a hellish couple of years trying to grow it longer and finally got it past that stage. I then had long hair from about the age of 18 up until starting chemo at the age of 45 last January. Like yours Saralousie, mine was waist length. Also like you I felt quite liberated by having it cut short and then didn’t even mind being bald very much - life was a lot easier than with long hair!
It doesn’t matter how much anyone says your hair looks nice SCACO, it’s not YOU and it wasn’t your choice. It’s no great surprise that you’re not terribly fond of it. I know it’s no great comfort at the moment but for most people their hair does eventually get back to being pretty much the way it was. It’s hardly surprising it takes a long time when you consider what they pumped into us.
All rants are permitted here - no apologies needed and being rational is positively discouraged.
I was expecting an Angela Davies do and … this is not too bad! Says the woman who is bald at the moment.
I just started in the dark, dark woods, SCACO, and just getting used to the beautifully shaped head comments. You know what gets my goat? That I had cancer in my ‘good’ breast. I don’t have large ones, but jolly! They were magnificent. But now, I look in the mirror and I see one perky, albeit somewhat lopsided one and one that sags and it is twice the size. It upsets me. At the moment it is my last straw. Yes, I know, it could be worst. I know, I know! And it is not my biggest problem at the moment: let’s face it: I am bald, overweight and can’t stay awake for more than a few hours during the day but can’t sleep during the night. And I still have tons of effing fecking treatment ahead of me.
Don’t panic, don’t panic. The hair is strange at first but you do eventually get your own back again. I was fortunate that mine grew again very quickly. Weird & curly & lots of grey ( but previously I hid the grey with dyes so can’t blame the chemo for the grey) at first. I started using hair wax to give it a trendy texture rather than just be fuzzy/fluffy and soon went running to a friendly hairdresser for some colour when I had a good covering…boy did hiding the grey make you feel better. Highly recommended plus using hair product for texture makes you look a little less obvious as a post chemo weird hair person! Am wondering how I will feel this time around as I face chemo again after a recurrence. Been six years but just found my wig, hats & pre-tied scarves. Here we go again…hey ho
In your ‘good’ breast. I really know what you mean - same here. I’ve always liked my right one better than the left one. Better shape, feels better etc…but now I have a dodgy breast in place of it. Not only that, but the cancer came back in the recon, so I now have a strangely scarred and even dodgier breast.
I tried to explain to OH that I was mourning my old self (overweight now too), and he said ‘well, I have to mourn the loss of your body too’!!! Probably true, but there are times when a small lie might help.
Anyone else have OHs that have never said ‘you’ll always be beautiful to me’ and nice things like that? If so, what do you do with them?
OK Frizzy Friends… I put something on my “blog-thing” today about hair growing out rather than down (good description - thank you!) and my SIL (who’s an experienced hairdresser) texted to say use Aussie conditioner and John Frieda hair serum… so I’ve used conditioner for “hair that is a bit fed up” and the serum, and it’s softer… much softer. Still looks the same, but it’s softer! I guess as it’s still only 2cm long it’s not GOING to look significantly different, but it does FEEL better…
I think…
J
Hi All, speaking as a habitually frizzy one, the serum is Frizz-ease and it workes, their heavy moisturising mask (not ordinary conditioner) also help to loosen the curl. Both of these work better than Aussie for me. Best of all though, although not cheap is Tigi Curlesque curl collection shampoo and conditioner which you buy from salons. Really does flatten and soften the frizz for me… xx
SACO , I can understand how you hate the “New You Hair”, because it isn’t the picture you have of yourself . However ------spikes on and on the blocks…oops hum ( she hesitates) I think you look GOOD…i am hoping you are slower than me as I duck back into the woods to lose you. Damm, you were the one that showed me the way through them. No where to hide…how about a few in the JM with lemon Drizzel and I will prostate myself at your feet oh my Oracle!!! Sorry sorry sorry!
Wishing me fluffy sproutings were as long
Frightened of your wrath
Cackles
Annie,
Not having got as far as hair yet, I want to let you know you’re not alone in wanting a comforting lie right now. Through five pregnancies and subsequent saggy bellies, through snotty colds and two bouts of pneumonia , my OH always made me feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. Now I can’t even let him look at my bald head and he hasn’t looked at my body since my mx. The night I came home from hospital he sat reading in bed while I sat struggling to get out of my clothes. I ended up in tears In the spare room and it took him ten minutes to notice I hadn’t come back!
Three months on, I’m a lot stronger than that sad night, but yes I’d give a lot to hear “you’re still beautiful” from the person whose words count most.
Is it crazy to add that I’m not sure I’ d go back to being that other woman again? There’s more to me now than there was before, despite losing bits of me that mattered a lot.
Sorry for all the self-pity - and I’m storing all the hair tips for the joyous day when sometthing more than a faint white fuzz forces it’s way through. My hair was always thick and fairly straight, so chemo perm will be the next challenge.
Aren’t we lucky to have something better than soft green soap to treat our locks with - and if you get that reference you must be as old as I am and can probably remember the Coronation!
I wish you all glossy locks.
Hugs,
Kathleen
I recently gave up on whole hair thing, I have tried to grow it “out” & out is what it did, I looked like a cross between Brian May & Thora Hird, no grey for me either but … Ginger ( as you saw) I have now had hair cut & dyed & it is very short but at least I can cope with it, my hairdresser has much experience with post chemo hair & said it has to learn to grow uninterrupted which takes a good 18 months after chemo, so I for now am back sporting the overweight pixie look xxx
Thank you for compliments and advice. This is exactly why I feel faintly ridiculous when whinging because I know lots of people genuinely think it looks nice - it’s just that it’s been foisted on me rather than me choosing it.
I use the 3 day straight serum and dry it straighter with my fingers and then wack a load of wax in it to make it look like that. If I leave it it is really, really curly. I managed to straighten it completely last week, but this is only fine if there isn’t even the tiniest bit of moisture in the air because if there is the curls start making a bid for freedom! I’m in for my 3rd haircut in a couple of weeks so that should improve things!
Annie, have you explained how you feel? I know it sounds obvious but men are simple creatures who don’t always pick up on these things. Ridiculous I know, but if he thinks you’re strong and getting on with it he might not have appreciated the emotional side. It’s difficult to explain to a man what it feels like to lose a breast, there’s nothing really comparable on a blokes body. I mean, I know you could say the obvious but it doesn’t really compare. Before I had my op I used to occasionally howl and say he wouldn’t fancy me when I looked like the Bride of Frankenstein and found that this approach would generally bring the right responses, ie:“of course I will, etc, etc”. So maybe it’s time to just say what you think and then you know he knows.
Have a happy hairday if you’ve got some, have a gentle SE freeday if not xxxx
Have you tried kerastase oleo relax shampoo? I use it or lee Stafford poker straight shampoo and conditioner and both make my hair more manageable. Saying that, its still woolly and I keep getting it cut off, but with other shampoos its much more sheep-like and out of control. Al x
Hi. Ive just discovered this thread and been sitting here laughing my head off!!! Especially in your first post, SCACO, when you say you looked like Zippy when you took everything off!!! I used to compare myself to Confused.com!!! But I think Zippy sums it up even better, because of the “beige” colour. Not sure about everyone else, but when I was in bed post Taxotere, with no make up on and no hair and no eyebrows/lashes, in the mirrored wardrobes at the end of my bed (AAAARRRGGGGHHH!!!) I looked almost invisible against the beige bedding!!!
I used to tint my hair and like most women took a lot of pride in styling it every day.
Now, it has come back grey, but completely white at the sides, which I actually quite like. And I think I’ll keep it grey as whilst its so short I think the colour looks a bit more forgiving.
However… the texture and the curl now, 7 months post chemo!!! When its wet it looks like a little old ladies VERY tight home perm!!! I use Joico Moisturising shampoo and conditioner, from my hairdressers, and then Frizz-Ease serum, then Joilotion to style it! I smooth over it after with Wella SP Satin Polish, just to smooth the finished result!! I can just finger dry it and it looks “ok” apart from a section right in the middle at the front. I never fully lost that little section during chemo, so it must be really strong hair there. Well, that bit is IMPOSSIBLE to do anything with. I have to REALLY stretch it down (all 1 inch of it) when I dry it to try and create a “fringe”, and still end up looking like the village idiot, its that short!!! Still too short there to get straighteners through with out burning my forehead!!!
My 16 year old son said it looks like Ive put my head in a mouse hole, where a mini stick of dynamite has blown up and Ive been left with a mini 'Fro!!!
I’ve had about 2-3mm trimmed off it all over, to give it a more even edge, but I’m hoping as I get more cut off it, it will cut the chemo curl off and it will go back to normal.
( as you saw) I have now had hair cut & dyed & it is very short but at least I can cope with it, my hairdresser has much experience with post chemo hair & said it has to learn to grow uninterrupted which takes a good 18 months after chemo, so I for now am back sporting the overweight pixie look 
xxx