Its made me so paranoid!

I am so angry with myself. I am paranoid about everything to the point of being hysterical. Not exagerating at all.
My son says ‘feel this lump on my neck’ as soon as he said that my stomache came up into my mouth and when i felt it thought i was going to pass out. I had to go and lay down on my bed a for a couple of hours to try to compose myself.
After a visit to the doc, he said it was an infection but of course i started surfing the net and came up with hodgkins disease. A week later and its got bigger so took him to A&E (this morning), she looked in his ear and said he has a massive abcess. She phoned up and we have to go to a specialist this afternoon.
I am sure i wasnt like this before BC.
My best freinds huibby had a problem with his throat and honestly i had him dead and buried, it turned out to be sinus infection. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

Oh, I can soooo relate to that. Since my dx I don’t trust my body at all. Things that felt ‘normal’ b4 dx now feel swollen or different in some way. My daughter had sa sore and inflamed breast a few weeks ago and I was devastated. While saying to her ‘oh it’s normal for a girl your age (she’s 25) to have tender boobs, nothing to worry about but we’ll get it checked, to be sure.’ Until she was seen in the breast clinic and had ultrasound, I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly. And it was perfectly okay, she was advised to take evening primrose or starflower to help with tenderness, and that was it. Other people have told me that you eventually calm down about things but I just can’t see it. Maybe once treatment’s over and I’m back at work, there will be less time for the worries, I hope so. I hope your son recovers quickly, an abcess must be v painful. All the best, P x

Pineapple I hope your son is ok, abscesses are nasty and painful so that in itself is enough to worry about.

As for the paranoia, I think its power for the course after BC,I can’t imagine life will ever be the same again.

You have my hugs.

Carole x

Hi Carole, i am just back with him. Its NOT an absess, the specialist said it wasnt and there is no sign of infection. He sent us back to Guingamp for a blood tests and then have to go to Docs tomorrow afternoon for the results. i feel so sick and stomachs churning. We are supposed to be going to Turkey in 4 weeks now i am imagining all sorts of stuff.

Carole, i have just read your latest post. I will PM you tomorrow.
love shirl X


BC messes with your head big time. I hope you get the lump on your sons neck sorted. I so know its easier said than dun but try not to worry.

I too am seriously paranoid about everything. I went to the docs on tuesday and about tummy pain surfed the net and dx myself with liver mets. My brother in law has been getting headaches and i have dx with with brain tumour…the list goes on and on.

keep your chin up and try not to worry.
keep us updated about your appointment tomorrow,

I made a pact with god :slight_smile:

Had blood test results GLANDULAR FEVER

I am one happy mother.

Hi Pineapple

what a relief i’m so pleased for you

Hi Shirley

What a big relief. I am so pleased you know what it is. Bad enough but could be worse. Keep us posted on his progress.

By the way, would you still like the wig?

Much love


Thanks ladies, i cant explain how i felt. I just thought my head was swimming and you know how you feel when you are just DX ? i felt like that. Any moment i was going to wake up from this nightmare and it wasnt really happening. It lookes like someones elbow sticking out and as it was getting bigger and wasnt reacting to the anitibiotics i was getting in a terrible state. I tried to hide it from him as i didnt want to worry him but it was just so terrible.
Anyway, a copy of the blood test arrived this morning and there it was in black and white that it was positive for the epson barr virus so happy days. I feel absoloutly drained.
Dilys, i forgot whats the wig like again? Thanks
shirl X

Hi Pineapple

The wig - if you have a look at, it is the wig called Stacy. And the colour is the one that comes up when you search their site for “Stacy”.

Let me know! I have of course completely lost your address by now…



Hi Dilys -thanks for the offer but i think what i am going to do is this.
When i go to Turkey in 4 weeks, we have to have 2 days in London so i might try to get a wig while i am in Oxford street.
I looked at your website and emailed them because i see they have an outlet in Selfridges. We were going in there anyway so i will go to where they are and see what they have got. I emailed them and asked them if they are well stocked up and she said yes so…
I will let you know what happens.
shirl X

Dear Shirley

OK then, that’s fine. The Selfridges wig place is meant to be good, or so I hear, so you may well find something excellent. Fingers crossed. It must be so very frustrating for you after all this time.

Lots of love