It's the waiting that gets me down

What a wonderful site this seems to be - have been reading some posts and it has encouraged me to share my story - I thought I could manage alone but I can’t. My lump was found in a routine mammogram and I had it and some nodes removed on 4th March - all went well - was even out the same day. Had to wait 2 weeks to be told they have got to take more tissue and all the nodes from under my arm - that’s happening on the 17th of April, then it’s another 2 week wait to get the results of that. I understand that they obviously have to prioritise the urgent cases but the waiting has really started to get to me as I am still quite sore and unable to work. I can see there are many people a lot worse than me but how do you stay positive? Have just heard a friend’s wife diagnosed and she is going in on Monday so she must be very serious which makes me feel bad for going on about the waiting but I seem to have become this ‘person with cancer’ and my whole life is on hold and revolves around it. As you have probably gathered I am fed up but I feel better for letting it go. xx

Hi Estelle

In addition to the wonderful support you will receive from your fellow forum users,
BCC have published a booklet for those newly diagnosed which may help you to understand more about diagnosis and treatments for breast cancer, you can order it via the following link: … ationId/82

Please also call our freephone helpline on 0808 800 6000 which is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm, here you can speak to one of our team who are either specialist breast care nurses or have had an experience of breast cancer themselves and are here to support you and help you through this difficult time.

Best wishes

Hi Estelle and welcome but sorry you’ve had to join us lot!! You’re right the waiting is the killer with all this and I really can’t tell you how to make it go - it just does eventually…in a funny way it lets you get your head round things or at least start to…I was diagnosed on jan 7th, had surgery 3 wks later on 28th but they took all my nodes in one go so it spared me more surgery I suppose. I was just in for the day too. Just rest and look after yourself and listen to your body…when you get the results and you know what you’re facing it starts to settle a bit - think you feel more in control when you know whats happening etc…but keep talking and posting on here…mary x

ps love your cat!!

Hi Estelle, I’ve found this site so wonderful whilst playing the waiting game!! Think Mary is right it does give you time to get your head round each stage! I had lump ot and snb on 20th march, had 21 nodes removed only 2 infected. But now have to go back in on 1st may for more removed and yes another 2 week wait! Although have already been told it will be chemo and radiotherapy.
Keep chatting on here its a great way to make friends with people who do know how you feel!! love debs xxx

Hi Estelle, You will get through this! It is hard at the time but things will get better. I was diagnosed 2 1/2 years ago and had mastectomy and chemo and radio and now its all over it feels like it didn’t really happen to me that it must have been someone else!!

There is lots of help and support here for you and to know your not alone will help you get through this very difficult time.
Take care Helenxx

Hello guys

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies and yes, I can understand what you are saying - it does give you time to get your head round things but also gives you time to think and I think that’s the problem - you start imagining all sorts of stuff. Having read some more has answered a few questions and lifted my spirits. Thank you again. Estelle xx

Hi Estelle et all!

Sorry you’ve had to join in, but a big welcome anyway.

The waiting is awful isn’t it? I’m currently in the process of waiting for a WLE on Weds. I’m quite early on in the road of BC so I’ve not got much experience of the treatments etc to share but I can certainly understand the difficulties of waiting and the mental torture it brings!

I seem to have big 2 week waits on every stage of my journey so far.I found lump,2 weeks later BC appointment and told it was all okay and not BC, 2 weeks later recalled and told of ‘suspicious’ results so told must be BC after all- another punch biopsy, 2 week wait for results of that-still ‘suspicious, probably DCIS and maybe some invasive’,so lump out 2 weeks later (this Weds) but results 2 weeks after that.The only definite information I have is that I have ‘atypical hyperplasia’. But I don’t have any definite information about what I haven’t got, if you know what I mean.

I know exactly what you mean about the priority thing. I know people who have been taken in almost the next day too. Whilst it is kind of reassuring in a way and I would in no way want to deny anyone in need of quick treatment, it doesn’t really help as in the meanitme we imagine everything!! Fear of the unkown is difficult.

All I can say is that the friends I have made on here are amazing. How they have put up with my paranoia and constant questions I’ll never know.I’ve found it to be a really useful way of gaining 'real ’ knowledge,experiences and ,above all, support.

I hope it brings you some comfort that I’m in the waiting process too!

Love Freddie xxxxxxxxxxxx

Am being admitted to hospital on Monday for the cancerous lump to be removed & some of the nodes removed as well. It was found following a mamogram a month ago, Even thou realy its not a long time it feels a very long time its the waiting around, & its the unknown. have started reading the forums & hopefully this will help you all seem so nice, & no what its like, I am lucky in having surportive partner & friends. thanks for listening, Pam

in the beginning I couldn’t sleep, eat, I lost weight - ok need to but doesn’t happen to me - it was all I could think about 24 hrs a day, I’d panic, feel sick and couldn’t settle to read or even watch tv as it all seemed to be about death, papers & Jade, kids were distraught and everything went round next appt with clinic, tests, results…it takes over our lives for a good while, people avoided me and others were nosey…the time dragged yet flew in an odd way, I can’t honestly believe its April, I have a bald head and 2 chemos out of the way…some results take even longer, I still don’t know if I’ll need herceptin treatment as here its normal for results to take about 12wks!! Now I’m trying to get it into my head that I do and then if I don’t it’ll be a bonus but who knows. The diagnosis changes you completely and every ache and pain is related in your mind to the cancer…sorry, woffling but you get the drift…Freddie - will be thinking of you and have been meaning to give you a ring, hope you’re doing ok…
Pam - come monday it’ll be out, you look after yourself and rest…mary x

It’s really good that information is available from the people who have ‘been there, done that’. I didn’t realise til I went on here today just how much it would help talking to people who know what it’s like. I have always been the sort of person who just copes, been through a lot - epilepsy, infertility, brain tumour, hysterectomy so I did start to feel ‘what the hell did I do to deserve this?’ which is fairly understandable, I feel, but in all the stuff I have been through I have never felt so supported and understood by people I don’t even know. Now I know that when I feel down, I have somewhere to go. Hugs, Estellexx