Ellie, are you, Claire and I under the same oncologist? I’ve only had two appointments throughout chemo, during one of which I saw the registrar. I’m not due to see her for weeks now. I would’ve liked an appointment for around now, if I’m honest I’d be asking for a dose reduction as I’ve felt so crappy this time.
Claire and Kim, how are you both getting on? I hope the SEs aren’t too horrid.
I ventured out today for my head massage, which was a nice treat. It’s the first time I’ve worn something other than my comfies for 11days and it was quite nice to put a bit of makeup on my seriously depleted lashes and brows. Have spent a lot of time sat in the garden under a parasol, being a natural red head I catch the sun very easily. Despite being careful my feet have caught it a bit, then remembered that docetaxel reacts to uv light, so hopefully I haven’t upset my toenails too much.
Love to all xx
Ellie, I’m thinking you mean Dr (Removed due to Ts and Cs)? She has a lovely younger registrar named (removed due to Ts and Cs) I think. My rads will be at K&C, I know some people are having I go further up the county.
Claire, yes, rads is sorted I think. They tried to book me in for planning appointment on day 4 of last chemo, and then rads starting 3 weeks after last chemo. However, I’d have been too poorly for the rads planning and it should be a 4 week break, so I think I’m due to start around the 23rd may. I’ve asked for afternoon appointments so that I can work a couple of hours a day.
I’m feeling a bit happier in myself today thankfully, it’s been a hard slog this time. Temp has gone down, annoying cough is still here though. GP said I could go get some bloods done today if I still wasn’t feeling great, so I don’t really know what to do. As the blood will have to find from the picc line, I’ve found it difficult at times to find someone who’s allowed to take it that way.
Keep hanging in there Claire, I know it’s no consolation, but in a few days you’ll be out the other side xx
Hi everyone, day 5 and I seem to be having less stabby pains this time around and my mouth hasn’t felt so bad. I’ve been able to keep up the water drinking, probably about 2L in 24 hours which is a massive improvement from last time! I’m hoping that will keep my temperature in check (clutching at straws?!). Another difference is that I have recovered from the cough I had for about 4 weeks, so that’s got to be a good thing! I definately go downhill mid afternoon - way more achey and tired, then rally round again in the evening. I’m generally lazing around either in bed or on the sofa, just doing bits and pieces of tidying to keep me sane! Then at bedtime I tell myself that’s another day done, another closer to the end. Think I’m going to struggle most in a few days when I’m going to be totally fed up of feeling crap!!
How is everyone else? Who is having n5 next week? Any n6s?!! Elizabeth, how are the weeklies going? What are you on now? (Think I have this right!)
Lots of love xxx
Ellie, I saved this link on my phone months ago as we have a holiday booked in Greece in August. Before all of this I had/have chronic kidney disease and we had to pay extra for our bank’s travel insurance. I haven’t used this link yet - it’s on my ‘to do’ list!!
insurancewith.com/about-us/
Kim xxx
Claire, that’s what we’re all here for - to support eachother through our ups and downs, celebrations and despairs. Having a good cry is good, if it’s going to come out, it’s going to come out and being strong for everyone isn’t going to do you any good if you can’t have a meltdown too! It’s no small thing we’re going through and although chemotherapy is probably the toughest period, I can’t think that we’re all going to step back into our old lives unscarred mentally. So don’t be hard on yourself, whether it’s n1 or n5 - it’s bl%%dy cr@p!!
Sending lots of love xxx
Claire, we’re all here for you. How you’re feeling is completely normal and acceptable and sometimes you just need a good sob and cry. I spent a lot of last Friday crying big proper sobs where you have trouble taking a breath. And, yes looking in the mirror is difficult at times, I hate looking at old pictures of myself as I look so different from how I am now. Without makeup and with whats left of my hair and eyebrows turning light blonde I look so pale and washed out (I’m sorry if I offend anyone, but I think I look like that Russian spy who was poisoned). Chemo is so much harder than I ever imagined.
Claire, in a few days time you will be over the worst of this cycle, just try to hold on to that thought. Everyone keeps saying to me ‘just one more to go’ however, like you I’m dreading the thought of doing it all again. Sending you love and hugs xx
Oh Claire, it’s rubbish. You should not be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. The T is tough and you are no doubt on the massive steroid come down at this point. I remember it well and had a few points aound this time in the cycle in tears or just hiding under the duvet. It’s around this point as well that my eyebrows and lashes went - I coped fine with losing my hair but the no brows thing really got me down because I suddenly looked ill unless I spent a lot of time putting my face on, which frankly some days I just could not be bothered with. But it will pass, I promise you. I’m 2.5 months post final chemo now and hair is coming on great (your’s will probably be even better because you have braved the cold cap for so long). My brows are coming back too much quicker than I thought. I have even managed to go the last few days without a siesta and my energy is coming back. You are so close to the end now. Hang on in there. It is going to get better.
Ruth xx
Poor Mechele! Can’t believe the bad luck she’s having! Thanks for letting us know Claire. I’m entering the days where I was worried about my temperature last time, so I’ll wait until the end of the week before I decide if n5 has been better than n4! 2 more days of injections to go and 7 more days of the precautionary antibiotics!
Pleased you’re feeling emotionally better today 
Well as well as being bald, no eyelashes (actually I have 3!) very patchy eyebrows that look like I’ve thrown mud at them when I try to fill them in with make up - I’m also getting lymphoedema on my surgery side arm! So I have a withered, bruised chemo arm and a fat surgery side hand and arm!! It’s a good look! Haha!
I guess it will improve once I’m done with chemo and radiotherapy and can have regular appointments to relieve it. So looking forward to the day I notice my hair starting to grow back too!!
Xxx
Claire I’m pleased you are feeling a lot better. This totally plays with our emotions, I’ve had a down few days through every cycle- we are so close to the ‘end of chemo’ finish line.
I hope Mechele is doing ok, she is having so much bad luck. Sending lots of love and hugs.
Kim, I hope your arm is doing ok, that’s just what you need. Have you suffered with it much since surgery?
I’ve got my bloods tomorrow for my last chemo on Friday- yippee!!! I’ve been so tired this time since no5, I haven’t really had any good days, I’m not sure if I’ve had a bit of a stomach bug, I feel so run down, I just want to sleep. I know what you mean about looking in the mirror, I don’t recognise myself anymore! I’m sick of wearing my wig, can’t wait for my hair to start growing back, when is that meant to happen???
Well the sun is shining, I’ve got 3 normal days left before I start all over again so I best make the most of it!!
Take care everyone.
Debbie xxx
Mechele, so good to hear from you and you’re back home. Maybe 6 is your lucky number?! Hopefully you can rest at home now and get your strength up for the last one
Xxx
Pleased you are home Mechele, take care and get lots of rest. Thinking of you. Debbie xx
Having been ignoring the phone when it comes up ‘unavailable’ I decided to answer it this morning only to find it was radiotherapy dept to arrange my CT scan for the planning (oops!) So that will be on Fri 29 April the Friday before my last T (all being well!!) I had initially thought I’d be able to have my phased return to work during radiotherapy, but the my hospital is an hour’s drive away too plus I think I’d probably just be too tired. Must be so frustrating knowing you could have had yours done at a closer hospital Claire, I’m used to having to travel for everything!
No aches and pains today so far now the injections have stopped, so I’m feeling pretty normal again! (Day 10) Hopefully this is me on the way up now for the next week and a half before the last one!!
Pretty sure some of you are due your last one this or next week?
Good luck for n5 Fiona
Sissy - is it your last one tomorrow
Xxx
That’s good news Claire
When they rang with my scan appt, I had a pang of excitement! How bizzare is that?! I’m sure I’ll be fed up with the daily trip up the A49, but no more chemical side effects just sounds so good right now!!
Xxx
Hi all, sorry all, this is a bit of a long post as I feel a bit fed up and anxious.
Claire, it’s good they’ve changed you to K&C, driving to M everyday would have been a nightmare as its not the easiest hospital to get to. I’m interested in the wonder brow, is it worth investing in? For hair growth stimulation I’ve got the roots bar from Lush, I’ve been using it since the start of my first T.
My hair is still very very fair (which makes it more difficult to see) however I can feel and see that it is growing, though it does feel like the fluffy bit of Velcro and it is at different lengths. I think in a few more weeks I might shave it to the same grade all over. Eyelashes are becoming more sparse by the day, putting mascara on is becoming more challenging. Am also getting fed up with colouring in what’s left of my brows, they’ve also gone really fair.
Claire and Kim, I’m glad you’re both starting you feel better, hopefully you can enjoy the next 10 days or so. Mechelle, I’m glad you’re out now, it’s rotten how you’ve had to be admitted each time. Debbie, good luck for your last on Friday.
I’ve been and had my pre chemo bloods etc done in readiness for Monday. Went on my own as James is on a course today and the rest of my family are either at work or away. Had a bit of a melt down with the nurse. Over the last few days I’ve been randomly crying. I think I’ve just had enough of it all. I’m sorry to sound ungrateful, but I’m fed up with people telling me how brave/strong I’m being. I know I have to do it, but the thought of doing it again on Monday fills me with dread. I’m fed up with being off work, not feeling like me, feeling so exhausted and achy all the time, getting out of breath so easily and feeling so unfit and I just feel so tired of it. I keep worrying as is still have a cough and some times my pulse feels fast, so then I’m worrying that it’s damaging my heart and lungs. I’ve only seen my oncologist twice during the chemo process. They did an ecg at the start and I thought they might have done another half way through or something to check its all okay. The nurse thinks that I’m focusibg too much on the negatives of it all. I asked if she could ask the oncologist for a dose reduction, however she thinks that she’ll say no. Nurse also suggested I look into getting done counselling, which will probably help. Sorry again to be a bit moany xx
Sissy, no need to apologise for putting in here exactly how you are feeling! That’s what we’re here for too.
How long have you had your cough for? Mine lasted about 4 weeks until I noticed an improvement. It’s probably because your body is fighting off the effects of chemotherapy rather than fighting the cough which it would normally do. That will wear you out along with the fact you’ve had 5 doses of chemicals. I have a friend with lung cancer who finished 6 cycles of docetaxol about 6 weeks ago and messaged me yesterday to say she feels so much more energetic now - like her old self, and that’s what I have to look forward too. Gave me hope! I have that pulse thing too - at night I can hear it thumping in my ears - is that similar?
It’s great your hair is growing back, I keep checking mine but I think it’s wishful thinking! I might invest in a lush bar too! I have eyebrow makeup I got from the same place as my wig, it wasn’t cheap but when I apply it, it looks like I’ve rubbed soil in my face!! More practise needed I think!! Good thing the wig covers my eyebrows!
I think counselling is a good idea, I always have. I was offered it as part of going to Breast Cancer Haven where I go for reflexology. At the beginning I was keen as I wasn’t coping as well as I feel I am now. I’m saving it as an option in the months to come because although I think I’m coping quite well now, it’s quite possible it will be a different story later when I’m supposed to be thankful it’s all over - you just never know.
Hope you start to feel better xxx
That’s good to know - I’ll bear that in mind when I apply, thanks xx
Last chemo done!!! Woo hoo!!! I’m feeling very tearful, I help it together whilst at the hospital but had tears since!! Just need to get through the side effects now, then surgery on May 19th.
Fiona, I hope everything is ok for you today. You are nearly there, 1 more ticked off.
Sissy, hope you are doing ok, I think counselling is something you should think about. I am going to try and talk with my local Maggies Centre to see what they offer for after surgery and radiotherapy is over.
Claire, Ellie and Mechele hope you are all well.
Big positive thoughts to everyone, we are all nearly there, then we can put this chemo c**p behind us.
Love Debbie xxx
Brilliant news Debbie! Well done! ???
Hope your side effects are minimal! Xxx
Hello all, thanks for all of your words of support and encouragement. I went out for a nice dinner last night with James, which perked me up a bit.
I had a meeting with my lovely Bcn today to have a chat about things and my recent brca2 diagnosis. My mx has been confirmed for August, she’s going to book me in for the same day of the week that I had my last mx so that I can have the same anaesthetist etc. I’ve had what they call a small dog ear develop at the end of my old Mx scar so apparently the consultant will Tidy it up at the same time. Had a chat about SE’s from chemo, she thinks cough is as a result of losing the hairs etc that line the throat and nasal area etc. She checked my bloods from yesterday, they’ve all come back as being fine so I’m good to go on Monday. Neuts were 2.7 so she was very pleased as apparently that’s a good level after having 5 chemos. I feel a bit more positive now that I know the bloods are okay.
Debbie, that’s fab news, I think you’re the first one of us that’s done?! We’ll soon all be at the finish line!
Quick question, does anyone else have sore feet with pins and needles? Xx
Pleased you’re feeling better today Sissy!
Yes me! Pins and needles and really sore feet last week of 4th dose, so I’m expecting the same next week! I developed blisters so my toes are wrapped in cotton wool today as we’re on the way down to Bristol for the weekend and it will involve a fair bit of walking once we’re there. Just stopped at the services on the motorway, off again now! Xxx