Sunnydaze, good luck for today ?
Sunnydaze - just a big hug from me. I totally get where you are. My daughter was 15 in November and, due to my recovery from a second stint of surgery a couple of days earlier her birthday was pretty low key which was rubbish and then I had my first FEC just before Christmas so Christmas was pretty subdued too.
Well done to you for making a cake though - superstar!
I TOTALLY agree about the hair thing too - I thought I was kind of prepared for it but mine has been shaved off for a couple of days now and I can barely bring myself to look in the mirror when I have nothing covering my head. I guess it must feel more “normal” (whatever that is?!!) gradually…
Big hugs x
Hi Sunnydaze, sorry to hear the shedding has started in ernest… that is the toughest of days believe me… once you have had the shave and given yourself time to accept the new look you’ll feel better. Once its gone you no longer have that to worry about but be kind to yourself… its a huge thing to deal with for a lot of people (me included) and it takes time to find your peace with the no hair look… but it happens. Its crap its coincided with your daughters birthday, I was having surgery the day my son had his first GCSE, having chemo right through them and had to rock up to this Prom with the wig in situ… actually would have crawled there bald to see it though. I was also in hopsital the day he got his results, he still passed them though… bless him. Just remember… next year you can celebrate her 16th in style!!
Kip
xx
Amazing how strong we can be yet how bloody vunerable and distressed we are at the same time, never imagined such feelings could co-exist, but they do with this. I too am dreading the hair loss, two weeks after first chemo and am just constantly thinking about it and examining it etc massive hugs to you all, and please continue to vent, laugh, cry, support, give comfort and ask for comfort here, think we are doing a grand job for each other xx
Hi I’m dreading the hair loss but I got 2 lovely wigs yesterday and I tried one on this morning- I liked it so much I kept it on - my hubby loves it ? Another good thing today - day 11 after first chemo- I enjoyed a sandwich ? I had gone completely off bread but today my taste buds have gone back to normal ? i’m going to try chocolate too ? the small things become very important - when you’re trying not to think too much about the big thing that we’re all going through. I’m getting such a lot of comfort from this forum even when worrying about those of you having a bad time. Hugs to all ?
Thanks for all the lovely messages. First EC went fine, I’m feeling pretty rubbish now though. Headache heavy legs a little dizzy and my tummy gurgling. I haven’t eaten much though. Trying not to panic:-/ it’s good to hear the hair stories. Xx hugs
Hello all, thought i’d chip in as I had my first round of FEC on Weds and have been finding this whole chemo business hugely odd. I had what felt like a hideous hangover about 3hrs after treatment which luckily subsided with paracetamol and anti-nause meds. I’m now on day two of the steroids which seem to be helping but making me quite jittery.
As with all things related to this cancer business it’s the mental side of it that’s doing me over at the moment and the fear of what lies ahead in the next few months. The rational part of me knows that this has to happen but the other half of me wants to run away as fast as i can! Does it get any easier the further you get into it please?
Welcome Gocat and Hi Sparkie2001!
We are mostly all in the early stages of chemo so hard to say how things are further down the line here. I do know that each bit of the journey does progress and you do move forward with it even when you can’t imagine ever doing so. I have had a lumpectomy and then needed a mastectomy and now obviously chemo. I have my second EC next Friday so I have spent this cycle trying to work out when my good days are, and there are lots, and the week of hell is a memory, albeit one that I know this time next week will be back but I also now know it will pass. I too have very much had the feeling of wanting to run, especially before the first EC. I am also struggling with not just feeling poorly after it but with what and why I am feeling poorly. I haven’t come to turns with the fact that I am doing this and I am ‘hurting’ me, all for the right reasons, obviously trying to help me! However I am finding it a little internal battle that I can’t get my head round still!
With regards the hair. I have cold capped however my hair today seems to be acting strange. To be fair I have long hair and used to lose quite a lot everyday in my pre chemo world, forever hoovering up round my dressing table! However since the chemo, strangely I hadn’t been losing any, and then today it seems to be shredding a few strands throughout the day…anyway else experienced this pattern? Could this be the start?
Hope people are/have a good nights sleep xx
Hi everyone, I’ve been catching up on all your posts, those getting through the first few days after chemo and those getting ready for the next one and those still waiting to start. This is a tough business! Sunnydaze & G I’m in a similar place with the hair. My scalp has been prickly and painful for days, I am shedding random hairs everywhere, I know for a fact that if I gave a tug it would just come out by the handful, so I am not touching it at all! As a consequence my hair is unwashed, unbrushed and basically just horrible looking, but I’m completely unable to accept the inevitable. Maybe tomorrow if I’m feeling stronger I’ll do something about it.
I just got out of hospital today (after pleading with the registrar to please let me go - they wanted to monitor me for another day!) and am a physical and emotional wreck. I barely slept for the 3 nights (constant noise and disruptions all night - I’m not a great sleeper at the best of times). That on top of the IV antibiotics, bad hospital food and lack of exercise have left me feeling 10 times worse than when I went in. Far harder though was seeing all the very sick people on the oncology ward with me and hearing their stories. Obviously the hospital has the worst case scenarios and not all the people who’ve recovered and been 20+ year survivors, but it really did my head in. I’m hoping a good night’s sleep at home will restore some of my positivity. There are only a few days until I have to start fasting for AC#2 on Friday, so I really need all my strength! It’s a bugger because I was feeling so good before I went in.
Hugs & strength to all of you xx
Sparkie2001 hi i’ve just turned the corner after my first FEC - 11days and I felt back to my usual self. I tried to keep a note of the things that I hated to eat - bread and chocolate, strangely, were top of the list of hates ? ok now ? foods with ‘umami ‘ that’s the stuff with garlic, chilli and get the taste buds going help. Salty crackers for that steroid starving feeling worked well and for the slight nausea when you’re not sure if you need the breakthrough anti sick. Good luck ?
B74 hope all goes well ?
I’m in a dilemma. It’s my birthday weekend and more friends and family want to pop in and wish me well - I’m now the ‘cousin who’s having chemo ‘ but i’m So worried that any one of them could have a cold brewing. How did any of you cope with people coming to the house? I feel I want to put a notice around my neck saying “NO HUGS” ? on the other hand it’s so nice to know they care.
Hello lovely ladies,
Just catching up on all of your messages. It’s a lively thread? I have to say your heart warming messages are very comforting, it’s a horrid time for all of us, but
it’s great to come on this thread and realise you are not alone. So I’m sending a huge hug out to each and everyone of you ? G, you are so right when you say we are strong and vulnerable all at the same time!
Thank you B74, G, LB , Nelly Mcnelly and Kip for your reassuring words. B74 I am so pleased you are now out of hospital and that you can enjoy some quality time at home getting your strength back. Onwards and upwards.
I send out get well vibes to stuck at 14, sparkle 2001 and Go Cat as they deal with their infusions. I had my second poison yesterday . The steroids kept me awake last night, ravenously hungry too, but I’ve realised I burn the excess of during the good days in the latter part of my cycle when my appetite normalises.
I do feel like a “dead battery” today after yesterday.’s Chemo, more so than last time. I guess the next few days will be tough. I think you are right. Day 1-7 you feel rough and from day 12 you feel grand again.
Well I braved the final shave yesterday and I have now got a baldy, funnily enough, honest to god it quite suits me. I am channelling my inner wild rock chick at the grand old age of 49. ?
I was crying the night before it happened though. I had a bath and afterwards my hair was coming out in big clumps. Very distressing and the same happened yesterday morning. My hair was looking raveged. I had it shaved as a half way house last Saturday and then again yesterday, Three weeks to the day from my first chemo I got a baldy shave. Once you start losing it, it falls thick and fast in that final week. I had a medium length blonde bob 3 weeks ago. I am glad I did the shave in too stages, it helped me to cope.
So, now it’s gone ? and you are so right Kip, the Shedfing and the anxiety attached to it all is really tough, but when it’s gone you do feel so much better. It’s both freeing and liberating in a sad kind of way. You’ve just got to embrace your inner Sinead O’Connor. Big earrings definitely help. We are beautiful in the inside and outside and we can positively rock this. So all of you ladies losing your hair I send you huge hugs and positivity…
Ok, I’ll leave it here for now. Yours in sisterhood.
? sunnydaze xxx
Feeling so much better today, so I got my 13 year old daughter to cut my hair really short. At first she was reluctant & a bit freaked out, but I said “come on - how often are you going to be given a pair of scissors & free rein on someone’s hair?!” She ended up giving me about 5 different hairstyles along the way & it was fun. Everyone agrees I look better with short hair anyway!! I’m going to keep it til the morning & then shave, the prickling has become almost unbearable, and it’s shedding everywhere.
Glad you’re feeling better B74 and glad you had some fun along the way with your daughter cutting your hair. It is quite freeing really, a rare opportunity. Good luck with the rest of the shave xx
Hello Ladies, I am with you all on the hair loss. Sunnydaze I am one day behind you on treatment, had my second FEC 100 yesterday. Still did the cold cap but the nurse said it rarely works with the high dose, gives better results with FEC 75 so that might be something to consider for those about to start treament. Washed my hair this morning and still loads coming out but when I look in the mirror there is still some left, more than I thought. I will keep persevering before I brave the shave.
I feel pretty good today so that is something, my nurse also said you can expect to feel 5% more fatigued with each treament but everyone is different - I have asked that question before but she is the first to give a definite answer. Start my injections this evening, not looking forward to it. But am now a third of the way through the chemo journey.
Sending good vibes to everyone.
Good luck LB2 with your chemo, round 2 and good luck with your cold capping? I hope your perseverance pays off. Even if your hair is not behaving itself now, it should grow in much quicker, once we’ve walked through this hellish journey.
It was useful learning about the 5% thing. A good way to help us pace ourselves. I feel worse this time because I have got my period to drag me down too. I was hoping chemo would kiss goodbye to those. No such luck.I hope this doesn’t effect my neutrophils later this week ? I was wondering if anyone on here has been told they have to have those ovarian suppression injections if chemo doesn’t arrest their periods? I am 50 in a couple of weeks time and really hope that chemo kicks in an earlier menopause so I don’t have to deal with ovarian suppression injections. Breast cancer is pretty dehumanising at best isn’t it! I can’t wait for sunnier days.x
Hello ladies, I’m day 13 and I’m so pleased that I was able to do the whole of our usual dog ? walk today - about 2.5 miles. It feels great that for a few days I hope to be myself ? good luck and best wishes to all ?
Lorraine.1 that’s a good idea thanks. A couple of people who wanted to call in have colds so they’re going to come another time.
Here’s to a new week ahead ladies. For those on a good week like myself then here’s to making the most of it (although having my port fitted tomorrow before Friday’s second lot of EC so that will curtail exercise I had planned to try and maximise in my good weeks ?). For those on not so good a week, big hug and be kind to yourself, you will get through the horribleness xx
Hair update, despite cold capping, definitely shredding, handfuls are coming out, this is my girls (age 9 & 11) biggest fear in the whole process and it is happening. I haven’t told them yet, I have just said that my scalp is now very tingly so we should expect this, just to position it to give them time, as the week goes on I will explain it is happening. B74, it is amazing you were able to put an element of fun into it and a bonding experience, I know this won’t work for mine but well done you on every level ?
Hi Lorraine1, I am with you on the first part, 4x EC (second one this Friday) but then I have 4x Taxotere.
xxx