I’d never journaled before, I’d had a beautiful journal sitting in my bedside drawer for a couple of years with the view that I would start a journal - one day. That day was November 13th 2023 the day of my breast cancer diagnosis. I would write in my journal every night before I went to sleep, it became my best friend. I could tell it anything, things that scared the heck out of me, things I didn’t want to burden my family with, stupid things, anything. It never judged me, it never told me to get a grip on myself or that there couldn’t be much wrong with me as I looked fine - all the sort of things that really don’t help. Without if I don’t think I would have ever slept, I got things out of my head. On the 24th of April I got to ring the bell, it was gone. My last entry in that journal was on the very last page and down to the very bottom - the journal had been exactly the right size for my journey, it was definitely meant to be. I had a new journal ready to start the next day and I’m still journalling last thing at night. Getting rid of any negative thoughts, being grateful for any positive things and recording all the many blessings we receive every day. Always having been into papercrafts my journal has now become an art form and I look forward to that half an hour each night before I go to sleep.
I’d recommend everyone going through cancer to try journalling, I didn’t think I’d become so “into” it to start with but honestly it is so therapeutic. Try it, you’ve nothing to loose.
I think I have used this forum as a sort of journal . Having looked at some of my old posts - either to check something or because someone liked them I can see how my mindset has changed . I wish I had found the forum earlier but I have used a journal technique to deal with particular problems that have cropped up at work as sometimes I bring it home with me , it has always helped me to get some perspective . I’ve even been known to write the odd poem. Xx
I totally agree, I started writing my thoughts down at the very beginning of this journey and went to some very dark places that I couldn’t say out loud, my friend bought me a happy journal which encourages me to think more positively, it definitely helps me to control my thoughts.
The day after i found the lump i knew I’d need to get stuff out of my head because walking the hound wasn’t going to be enough
Some days i wrote pages, some days nothing at all but it took my fears, my emotions, my thought, my day by day
I used it for almost all of last year and then when my annual mammogram came up i knew i needed it again…
No one will ever read it but it helped so much and when i went to dark places it held me together
Friends, family, the breast team, this forum, complete strangers were amazing but for me writing it down packed it away in a way I could cope
Whatever gets you through
Just really be kind to yourself and
do obe thing every day that makes you smile…sometimes a fabulous lipstick or getting my penciiled brows to match was enough other times just lying down and healing
And always remember that there is help and support…just reach out xx
@Curlywurly1 Oh I can relate as regards the eyebrows, my makeup became my armour and the day started on an even keel if both sides of my face looked even, but watch out if my blusher or eyeshadow was heavier one side than the other. It would cause an enormous hissy fit. I’m sure that November come my one year review I will be writing pages again, I even found myself apologising to my first journal if I hadn’t written anything one day. It truly was a dear friend.
Wishing you and all on this roller coaster peaceful, calm and healing days and restful sleeps at night. xxxx
I know it’s not quite the same, but i got photo’s taken during my months of treatment, then would put a post on facebook, like a record of my progress, all my friends said how brave & inspiring i was to do that, even i can’t believe i put certain photo’s of me on there. The good thing is i can now look back at it all, It feels surreal now.
@kar3n your friends are right it was extremely brave of you and yes inspiring. I thought that of the lady who recently ran the marathon after a double mastectomy and didn’t wear a top, proudly showing off her scars. I salute you for your bravery. xx
LOL
I took photos of my boob pre, during tests, biopsies and post surgery (lumpectomy and sentinel node and 4 lymph node removal) then after radiotherapy and at the 1 year anniversary ( i have a reluctant seroma/haemotoma and its been drained 7 times so far) to help me see what was changing
The photos are stored in an encrypted file and along with the journal helped me cope with changes in my body and boob