Morning ladies. Well got up feeling better today. I wasn’t too bad yesterday so id say over this cycle. Had breakfast which included 3 different cereals in the same bowl.
that way more of a chance of liking something lol. I know a bit too weird now. Off shopping soon so hopefully something nice will jump off the shelves. @olli3 glad you’re home. I never thought i also had the covid jab before treatment but just thought this was the next one. Maybe i dont need to have it again? Xxx
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Just off for my 3rd weekly Paclitaxel and apart from hellish pains in my legs when I sit or lay down, thankfully nothing too desperate to report. Mouth as dry as the desert seems to be a permanent feature just now, but at least I’m not feeling sick like with the AC, so can drink and enjoy as much tea as I can stomach……. With a chocolate biscuit dunk of course 
6 more treatments to go, then radiotherapy for 15 rounds, hopefully just in before Christmas if I get my wish.
Strange mood last few days, bit down, bit getting used to my unrecognisable body and absence of hair. But woke this morning with a strong feeling of hope and a coming to terms with the opportunity to ‘build’ a new appearance. I’d thought we should be given a catalogue of ‘new looks’ we could choose for ourselves once this intensive and feminine destructive treatment is over! Like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis! I have a second breast removal next year and after that I can feel all kinds of wild and wonderful looks coming on!! Why the hell not eh? Who’s gonna stop me?! 
Sending hugs to you all, have as good a weekend as you can manage xxx
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Sending big hugs. Have a good weekend xxx
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Really good to hear that you’re over this cycle, only 1 more to go?
When I had my COVID jab in June she said still get the autumn one as well, am just thinking I might wait until after chemo to get that one and feel flu jab more urgent x
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Re dry mouth - I was given some Oralieve mouth spray at the hospital, it’s helped a lot.
You mention second breast removal. Is that preventative? My genetic test results have come back showing that I have a gene which makes me high risk for breast cancer (as well as a few other cancers) and I need to speak to a genetic counsellor about my options. I’m guessing they’re going to suggest I have right breast mastectomy. I had left breast removed in May after they found two tumours.
Hope your infusion went ok today and you’re not suffering with too many side effects. x
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Thanks for the recommendation for the spray, I’ll get some- mentioned it at hospital yesterday but nothing offered, so I’ll just buy some. Tired when I got back yesterday, but early night sorted it
Sorry it’s a long reply, but I think if it is relevant, then some people may benefit from it as possibly a viewpoint of a slightly less conventional route.
(Next bit for anyone who reads this is entirely my personal opinions for me and my decision, please do not take any of it as any judgement on anyone else’s thoughts, choices, or decision - what happens to our bodies once we join this awful club we didn’t seek to join should be personal and very well thought through, so here’s mine 
)
My second breast removal is my choice, although I lost my mum to breast cancer, no genetic connection. My remaining breast is G/GG size, and I am wildly lopsided, so matching with reconstruction just on the mastectomy side isn’t an option, I’d need to deconstruct the remaining breast considerably and my genuine wish is if any surgery on that side is required, then simply take away the whole potential next breast cancer problem. If I can’t have back my large, previously healthy breast, which clearly is now impossible, I don’t want to be left with two breasts I don’t recognise.
Frankly, at my 54 years and still perimenopausal so body still changing, I have no requirement or reason to start tinkering with both sides, I just think it is a potential recipe for disaster. I asked for double mastectomy for my surgery in May so my surgeon knows and is supportive of my decision and kindly explained why doing the one with the large tumour first and healed so we could progress with chemo and radio first was the only option. He needs to do paperwork for second mastectomy to be part of the ‘reconstruction process’ and not cosmetic. And after 4 months of being lopsided I’m more determined than ever it’s right for me. Without my almost pound and a half prosthetic, which strangely gives me numbness on both sides of my upper body after a day’s wear, I’m aware I’m ‘leaning’ on my heavier side when I don’t wear the prosthetic which will cause posture problems in the long term.
This is my well-pondered, well-thought and very personal decision in choosing flat closure on both sides, but for me 100% the solution as the best ‘moving forward’ event of this whole situation. I know I’m confident and strong enough to do this and live with it and I think it plays a part in my decision making.
Angie I’m sorry you know you are at potentially higher risk, and I’d speak with anyone who will listen about this. I’ve had good conversations with every nurse I’ve met along this way since March and other people who have been through the breast cancer process. They haven’t made my decision for me, but they have given me good information which has reinforced my choice to the point I won’t take no for an answer!! I hope you can find the same to make the right choice for YOU 
. Good luck xx
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Thank you @pipspops and thanks so much for sharing that. 
I totally understand your decision.
My first thought on finding out my genetic result was “Not another surgery, not something else to go through, I just want all this finished” but after having time to think it through I know that if I don’t have it removed and knowing I’m high risk, I will be forever checking and worried about any slight changes.
Hope you and everyone else are doing ok and all have a lovely weekend. I’ve got my daughter coming up to stay with me for a few days and I can’t wait to see her 
x
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Thank you
Yes, not easy to find the journey is going to be a little longer than we might have hoped for, but playing the longer game might just give a better quality of life for the ‘next phase’ and that feels like a better trade off in my opinion.
Have an amazing time with your daughter
I’m off in the garden, sun is shining and I’m making the most of it! Xx
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@pipspops thank you for sharing. You are making the right decision for you and thats all that matters. I totally get it. I wasn’t offered a mastectomy as lump was tiny at the time. So had lumpectomy. But when i found out it was tnbc i convinced myself id end up with both breast gone in the future and kind of came to terms with it. Dr google helped or rather didn’t help my thought process at the time. You just think the worst case scenario. Now coming to the end of chemo i know ill be living with the fear forever but i do think im strong so going to live my best life. I may be in the percentage who it doesn’t return to. 
enjoy the sunshine today and take care. 🩷 @angieb1 have a lovely time with your daughter. Ive just booked a cottage in north yorkshire to visit family after Christmas. It felt very impulsive for me. Well after 3 days of looking 
. But its something to look forward to and my treatment may even be over by then. Take care xxx
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Well ladies ive only gone and bloody done it. Had my head shaved today. It was getting to the point where i was wearing bandanas all the time in the house as well as outside. I looked like jedward with bald patches when i took them off. Full of hair when i removed it. Thought enough is enough. My hubby did it but i know he struggled. But i think he was fine when he saw how relieved i was. No more sticky roller taping my pillow on a morning. The best bit of my day was taking a bath and laying back with my head in the water. Yay. Xxxx
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Good on you darling! It is strangely liberating - glad you enjoyed your bath
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Thanks @pipspops for sharing your thought processes. I still have a number of things to weigh up before surgery. Its good to know we have a voice in this process as we are the ones living with the results and know our bodies. We are all individuals and it stands to reason we will need different options I hope you enjoyed the 
& your garden.
That sounds very freeing @debi1! If more of my hair comes out during EC I might do the same!
Happy Sunday everyone!
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Thank you I think it’s important to say we do have a voice and must be prepared to restate what we want and overrule if required, or ask for more information if unsure of outcomes, I hope you get the information you need to help you in your choices.
Just from my experience, I have had to restate what I want on a number of occasions, so I know it can be easy to get swept along with what may be a majority ‘usual processing’ for staff dealing with you, especially the reconstruction issue. Nobody ever asked me IF I wanted reconstruction, the conversation just goes that way, I have had to declare and/or remind staff of my wish for flat closure and second breast removal at every stage and every meeting.
Even something as simple as standing my ground for an underwired bra for a prosthetic fitting despite being ‘told’ otherwise is a win for a happier outcome.
I’m a nice person! 
but am prepared to be a little hard-nosed for my life going forward it isn’t necessarily the time to ‘go with the flow’ if there are realistic and feasible alternatives which suit us better.
Hope everyone has had a half decent weekend? Wishing a good week to everyone xx
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Hi everyone - been a bit quiet on here - just feeling a bit rubbish and tired. Had my fifth Docetaxol last week and have been floppy with a horrible taste in my mouth ever since.
Hope you are all coping with your trials and tribulations and hoping the end of chemo is in sight for you . I have one more in a couple of weeks - can’t wait for it to be over so I can try and get on with life - there is more treatment to come but not chemo - just sick of feeling sick.
Anyway I was trying to look but don’t know (brain gone to mush - tried turning heating on with fire stick control this afternoon 
)
how to search but have I seen a discussion about getting a rash on Docetaxol on this thread? Just noticed a big red itchy patch on my torso this evening - could be anything random I guess but has anyone else had a rash?
Take care all xx
@Bibi I’m sure ive read something about a rash on here too. Maybe worth a call to specialist just to get checked out. Hope you feel better soon. I have my last Doxetactel in a couple of weeks. Yes the taste in my mouth is horrible too. Take care. @pipspops really admire your courage. Yes i suppose its easy to go along with what the experts suggest. But stay strong and do what’s right for you. Night lovely xx
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Hi @Bibi. Sorry to hear how you’ve been feeling. I had my fourth chemo but first Docetaxel 2 weeks ago and I’ve been the same. Really tired and the horrible taste has been awful.
I got a rash on my chest and neck about a week ago and also started getting nosebleeds. I rang the helpline and they arranged for me to have my blood checked as a rash and bleeding could be a sign of low platelets. All was ok though and they just gave me anti-histamines and some Dermol cream to put on it. Also said I could wash with the Dermol cream and advised not to use any perfume on my skin or anything with colours or perfume in it.
I hope you start to feel better soon. Your rash is probably fine but I would give the helpline a call just to see what they say. x.
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Hi all
Hope we are ticking through the cycles now.
After 3 weeks I can say my tongue is finally looking normal
Had a v confusing appt today re hormone treatment
Onco seems to think I don’t need to wait for radiotherapy (radio onco has said they usually ask patients to do radio then start hormone)
Me visiting dr Google has confused me too
So going to ask to spk to the other onco for a definitive answer
He didn’t seem to care that my resting heart rate was on the high end and suggested me calling 999 if I was worried as he was not a cardiologist
I only mentioned it as before chemo my heart rate was pretty damn normal !
Just had my first Zoladex and it wasn’t as painful as anticipated
Must be the fat my tummy has lol
@pipspops good for you being your advocate! I hope it is an easy sign off and you have it booked when your ready
@debi1 the shave means you can have a proper shower under the shower head … and no more hoovering the hair up I hope?
I’m still shedding and wearing hair bands
I’m hoping it stops soon
My hair is not normal at all . I just saw a pic of me with hair past my shoulders & feels like a diff person
Can’t remember who mentioned a rash & had it with TC- was given hydrocortisone & did the trick
Happy Monday all
X
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The Docetaxol really seems to have wiped us out doesn’t it 
Today is day 11 after my first one, and I feel like I’m turning a corner…. About time !
Sorry to hear we are all struggling but hopefully it is ticking them off… 
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Hi everyone
I finished my 12/12 placitaxel last week unscathed and feel really well. I start my EC on Thursday fortnightly - the fear of the unknown is really real and feel so sad I feel so well and I will probably feel unwell and start to lose my hair. Everyone is like “you look so well” and im like yes just to shut them up so they go away and stop being nosey looking at my hair!
I want to get Thursday over with and then not if you know what I mean. 21st November is my last treatment and it can’t come soon enough!
@pipspops your thoughts are really useful to read as it helps to read other peoples journeys and help us to advocate for ourselves.
@debi1 hope your still feeling better and are ok.
@idcand49 i feel you - i am trying not to put on any weight during chemo but it is difficult and i suppose we have to try to ensure we feel well and i feel graeful i can eat and not feel sick (yet!) Have you started your radio yet?
@angieb1 i have my dark chocolate (for my magnesium of course) but i too break off a square every time i walk past the fridge. I blame the little lifts box for my new dark chocolate obsession!
Has anyone had their flu jab yet? As part of my job is give flu vaccines in flu season but i don’t want to have it and have something else to worry about with starting the EC.
Lots of love to everyone xxx
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@kerrylou1 I will try some dark chocolate. I normally prefer milk chocolate but my taste has still gone after my last chemo and most things taste bitter so might try the 90% cocoa one.
I’m seeing my oncologist in the morning for a review and I’m going to ask about the flu and Covid jab. He has previously said to have it the week before my chemo but I’m scared in case I have a reaction and my chemo gets delayed.
I have used cold cap since starting my chemo in July. I had a big shed and lost about 50% of my hair after 1st chemo but have had 3 more sessions since then and not lost any more. I had quite thick hair before and it just thinned so most people can’t tell.
It is scary starting new chemo but as you say, the sooner you start the sooner you get it over with. Focus on 21st November and getting to that last treatment. 
x
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