Hello lovely June group! Anne here from the Sept thread. 
I thought I’d drop you a line as @naughty_boob and I are both doing 100 mile charity walking challenges for October (counting every step, nothing too crazy)! Anyway, I’ve made us a playlist for walks with favourite tunes from some of us in the Sept thread. Thought I’d share here in case you wanted a listen too. There are some bangers on it! 
Lots of love to you all, Anne xxx
@annemanc and I will be virtually walking together listening to these tunes Tuesday at 10am if any of you feel up to it, please join us! #Strongertogether
Weekly Paclitaxel is not good for the weekends. Had a rough couple of days, hopefully feeling more sprightly Tuesday!
Hi! How is everyone doing?
On Friday 6th I had my 6/8 chemo !! Almost there!
They gave me anti allergens for the Docetaxel as the time before I was immediately vomiting after the infusion. This time I was fine.
Felt amazing over the weekend (really buzzy) with a HUGE appetite (was eating everything I felt like!) but today - on day 3 after chemo - I feel exhausted: I haven’t been able to get out of bed all day and I have the runs again. Not fun. I’ve been sipping green tea and eating wafers.
This cancer has made me realise I need to separate from my husband. He has shown no compassion. Will be difficult as there’s financial control and I’m dependent on him.
Still have hair though some bald patch on the top - still using cold cap. Don’t feel like brushing or washing my hair again as I don’t think the cold cap was working properly last time!
Miss you all
Hello @Beeza66
Really good to hear about your treatment almost completed but sorry to hear about the fluctuating symptoms you are experiencing and feeling that there is lack of compassion in your relationship.
At times such as these, we are forced to examine things inc relationships with family, friends and spouse etc. by their responses. That is because we have so much time for reflection. It’s only natural that we start to reassess our life and priorities. I think that’s healthy.
I also know our perception can also be influenced by our mindset and heightened emotional state.
I too feel like that sometimes and often reflect on things. From experience I know some people are not good with showing emotions and they definitely can’t read between the lines and need things spelling out. I am not being sexist on this but it is mainly men.
I think if they ‘breakdown’ they feel they are not being supportive or if that happens, there is no knowledge where that can lead.
I am ‘pausing’ all my big life changing decisions until treatment is completed and I am ‘safely’ on the other side.
I wish you all the best with your ongoing treatment and lesser side effects. The bowel thing is ongoing and you never know where you are from one day to the next, coming or going or what you might fancy eating or if steroids are causing you to hoover up everything!
Then you feel nauseous and your taste sensation is confused etc etc.
Enjoy the good days, love and best wishes xx
Thanks so much for what you have said. So much wisdom here. I’m two chemo sessions from End and like others reevaluating so much about life but trying not to make big decisions. Friends have told me to retire (yikes!) but why as I love my varied work. Maybe I just need to create less stress and more space for being me. But that doesn’t mean big decisions yet.
But I do feel that it does put a spotlight on relationships and how others react.
It guess it affects us all emotionally and I feel that is still to come out in its own way and time.
Hugs xxx
Its so tough and my heart goes out to you. All I can say is to take each day slowly and know there is time to take decisions that are right for you when you have the headspace and energy. Right now we are all surviving and healing between our treatments but this will pass.
Xxxx
Hi @Beeza66
Glad you are getting through your treatment, no many more! The side effects can be exhausting and change day to day. Talk to your team if they are persistent. Glad the cold cap is keeping most of your hair, I’ve been shedding but you wouldn’t know. My scalp is very sensitive though. The nurses have been a bit hit and miss putting it on but I always fiddle to ensure it’s a tight to my head as possible.
Like you and the others have said our situation makes you reflect on your life and those around you. I’m a Higher Level Teaching Assistant, who covers for the teacher when they have planning and preparation time. I have to plan, adapt lessons to all children’s needs and deliver in class without supervision. All in all I’m a teacher but paid much less. I love my job and enjoy teaching the children but menopause was causing memory problems which were relieved by HRT. Then I got cancer and the HRT had to stop and the memory is getting worse. I forget words, names and numbers, I used to work in a bank so had a head full of numbers! I wouldn’t be able to deliver lessons to children let alone plan and prepare appropriate resources. I’m signed off sick and nearing end of statutory sick pay so applying to DWP! I’m not sure i can see myself going back to work but it is a big decision and in a few month’s I may start to improve. So I realise it’s not time to make those decisions and will wait until all my treatment is over, that’s at least a year with the Herceptin.
I’m sorry to hear you’re not getting the support from your husband, maybe he’s finding it hard, not giving him excuses, and unable to show or say how he feels. We are the one’s having the treatment and side effects and your friends and family just look on. Not everyone is good with emotions or support.
I think we’ll all be making big life decisions in the next few weeks, months and years after having breast cancer, but try to focus on getting your treatment finished before.
Big hugs 
Hi me too ! 2 sessions from end! May need radiotherapy. Haven’t seen my oncologist once through all chemotherapy sessions. Just clinical nurses.
My husband has got much worse during my cancer. It has really opened my eyes to how cold, callous and calculative he is. It has filled me with disbelief! On the day of my chemo last Friday he told me to “stop playing the victim.”
I won’t make any decision or do anything radical but I know after 25 years - the horse has bolted in this relationship. Right now I’m doing what my friends are telling me - focussing 100% on my health and getting better. I think we may be more emotional but we certainly realise what and who we prioritise in life. On the days I’ve wanted all to be simple, happy and calm and enjoy the moment hub has ruined it with angry bursts. Sorry to rant girls but this cancer struggle has been much much more difficult with my difficult marriage. He said I can leave rented house and he will stay with the kids!!
Feeling better today. Slept all night and weak today that’s all. Will take it easy.
Big hug
You are strong and friends are right that your health is number one. Just so sorry you have to be put through so much by your husband. This is a great space to rant. So rant away.
I’ve got my post EC day 6 slump. So joining you on the virtual sofa. Hoping the magic awake button comes to life by end of week.
We’ll get through our next two
Xxxx
I agree with you that the diagnosis and treatment does invite a reassessment of life and relationships. As we do go through so much though, I do think major decisions should be put on hold as much as possible. But then there are some things that are not going to change, and a lack of support when we really need it definitely shows you where you stand.
Returning to work will be something that needs to be sorted for me, but i am trying to keep things slow and have a chance to really recover from my last chemo before I deal with that. There does also seem to be a drop away of support and lack of guidance for the future from the hospital. I know everyone recovers differently but not knowing what can happen when is stressful.
Good luck to all of us!
Yes dear,From now on just for you, we are very emotional and have support even a little spoiled , why not?
Don’t worry my husband is treating me as I have no problems or concerns, he is living as before my diagnosis and expect that I do everything as before., So I understand you,
I am sorry for us and hopefully we will be more powerful after all.
All my best wishes 
Sorry to hear your husband is not being more supportive either.
My husband has been a saint.
Hi - quick question.
did anyone on EC get a weird taste change?
Craving carbs on day 6 post chemo, spicier the better (!) and it seems to take weird taste away for a bit. Also my lips are tingling which is strange. They gave me Nystan which helps a bit but its still there. Water tastes foul so not drinking as much either which is bad.
Last cycle one, I sprang back on day 10. So hopefully weekend will be fine.
seems to be following the same pattern as cycle 1 so far!
Tips welcome!
X
I’m on Paclitaxel and experiencing weird mouth changes. Water tastes horrible, add squash but needs to be more citrus rather than berry flavour. Everything needs to more ‘flavoured’, had scrambled eggs at lunch and could barely taste so added extra salt and pepper. Seem to prefer savoury salty items than my normal sweet tooth!
I had a cancer care parcel in which they gave me chilli oil and a herb sachet to up the flavour of food. Chilli is good but too much spice give me indigestion.
Hello Rachel,
Yes I had the same with EC but have to say as compared to the taste now with Doce + Phesgo , it’s worse (my tongue feels like I just burnt it on a hot beverage except it does not disappear).
My throat feel dry and scratchy and yes I normally can drink gallons of water but have to add flavouring with lemon/mint etc or orange blackcurrant cordial (whilst minding the sugar).
I used to like spicy food but now it affects my throat, tongue and stomach so have toned spices down.
Grateful I don’t have any mouth sores though or gum teeth sensitivity. I gargle with salt now and again to also protect my throat from any infection getting in.
Things mostly taste bitter. I was told to suck on something sweet for a while to wake the tongue senses then to start eating.
With EC my side effects was almost immediate fatigue, nausea etc worse when the steroids finishes but with Doce it starts typically on day 4 and last for over a week.
Anyway it’s time to repair and rebuild now.
I had my last chemo today and my PICC line was removed (it was a pain to get the metal bits out as they were well embedded with skin over). It did its job by staying in causing me no trouble until removal. It’s out now, a significant moment on my treatment plan. Surgery next, early Nov (no date yet).
@daffodil1 yes I did see Amy Dowden and she looked great. She is a fellow warrior and good to have a celebrity raising the profile and fundraising and also our own warriors on here raising money 
.
I am also doing the October stepping challenge. I did race for life last year before my diagnosis this year. I also hiked up Snowdon for Alzheimer’s society soon after my diagnosis this year (I had to do it as so many counting on me). I spent the time processing what I was told only a few days before, being angry, emotional, letting the wind dry my tears, journaling etc. a good time to spend in a neutral place, in beautiful nature & surroundings and being with strangers that didn’t know about my diagnosis.
I am watching stand up to cancer where the celebrities are learning to walk the zip wire. I have no head for heights and can empathise 
Anyway thinking of you all on your various journeys and not long now for some of you.
Rooting for you all until the end of your current treatment journeys.
Be gentle, compassionate and patient with yourselves. It’s a battle and then some. Things do move on and you can look back with pride.
Try to move/exercise as much as your symptoms allow and work with adjustments if you enjoy it. It’s kept me sane through tough times aside from my family and all the support I had from medical team, staff, forums such as this one and you all my fellow warriors.
All this with incorporating rest time when your body demands it.
Lots of love and best wishes xx
Great your chemo has finished. Wish your the best with your surgery.
Hi all, I’ve been reading everyone’s updates and just want to say everyone is doing brilliantly and it’s great to see some of us are finished with chemo/nearly finished! I am due my 8th abraxane (was paclitaxol before my allergic reaction) tomorrow (if my white blood cells increase), I have 4 left in total. Starting to struggle with neuropathy in my fingers quite badly, I’ve been drinking lots of water and exercising (walking) as the doc suggested. Body is very tired and achey, need motivation to get me through the last 4/5 weeks, reading your posts and seeing your strength encourages me. Sending positivity and strength to you all xx
Keep going @Jess_1 you are almost and will get there.
Your are strong and you can do this💪🏼. Listen to your body and push or pullback as needed.
Let us know how you are getting on x
Great news of how far you are through your treatment. I’ve just done 5/12 Paclitaxel. Side effects get worse week by week, had a better week after allergic reaction because only received half infusion. Holding on to my hair with cold capping, it’s not easy, had a new machine today and it’s was so much cooler! Suffering numbness and tingling line you but it goes away with movement so they aren’t too bothered yet, worried about persistent.
Just a reminder to everyone peripheral neuropathy is reportable to DVLA if you drive and is applicable for Personal Independence Payment(PIP) also could be eligible having breast cancer. Worth a go ! Extra money to help,with extra costs.