It’s awful feeling that you haven’t had time to surface for air. I’m sure we will both get a break after our treatment. Fingers crossed 
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Uh wishing you the best of luck tomorrow you’ll smash it! x
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Currently packing my bag for my chemo starting on Thursday. I will have to pack a small bag for wednesday as I am being admitted at 12 for bloods then 1.30pm for the portacath to be fitted so theyve advised a dressing gown and slippers. I think I have bought so much for this starting just in case I get every single side effect. Getting organised is making me feel calm at the moment as I am trying to just keep busy. I would love to go on a long walk but having had a full hip replacement 13 weeks ago im not sure how far I could go but I feel like it would help clear my head. walking in circles around the garden might have to do for now. The biggest thing I am dreading is my sons, partner and mum seeing me go through this and I hope I keep mainly well so that it isnt so hard on them.
Wishing all you beautiful ladies the best of luck x
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@donna_51 I’d be interested to know how you find working from home. I’m hoping to carry on working where I can. I do mostly audio typing so will be able to wfh too hopefully 
Hope all goes well with the first session and you don’t feel too awful afterwards.xx
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Best of luck for this week everyone!
@donna_51 ups and downs mentally I would say. Bit of a rollercoaster all this isn’t it. And the literal LAST thing I expected to have to tackle right now but I’m getting a little bit of comfort in jotting down all the funny things that happen along the way and trying not to take every second too seriously.
The worst bit for me is not knowing how I’ll respond to the treatment - I can’t bare the thought of looking like a sick person. I might take a leaf out of your book with the crazy outfits!
@smt best of luck for this week, you sound prepared! We both start chemo on the same day but I had my port fitted last week. If it gives you any comfort, I chose not to have sedation, only local anaesthetic. There were some odd sensations but no pain and it was over in 20 minutes. The surgeon and I joked about both being on a beach somewhere in our minds (separately of course 
). It will be over before you know it!
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Hi everyone,
First time posting on here after reading everyone’s posts for a while now!
My name is Charlotte, I’m 42 with 3 beautiful children - 2 teens and a toddler and I was diagnosed with TN stage 2 grade 2 lobular carcinoma on the 29th April and am due to start my Chemo on the 18th June. … weekly Paclitaxel and every three weeks Carboplatin, Paclitaxel and Pembrolizumab for 12 weeks After that more chemo (not sure what yet) then surgery finishing with radiotherapy.
Yesterday I had my PICC line fitted … which feels so strange … convinced I can feel it in my chest but I’m not sure if it’s just my mind playing tricks on me! Today signed all my consent forms and gave what seems like gallons of blood and tomorrow I am going for genetic testing.
It all felt so surreal and like it wasn’t really happening and I kind of just buried my head on the sand … until yesterday and now I feel frightened and not prepared and generally pretty deflated!
Normally I’m a strong positive person who has a get on with it attitude but I feel the fear of the uncertainty of what’s about to happen is starting to really get to me and I feel really unmotivated and just want to shut myself away!
Obviously I can’t do this I have children to take care of and I am still working, but as it gets closer it’s getting harder to concentrate on anything other than my cancer!
I do have a great support network - partner, family and friends but already I feel like a burden and I’m just causing everyone worry so don’t want to keep pestering them … which I know is daft!
I suppose I’m here to look for some tips on how to prepare and how to not let myself get too down with it all!! And hopefully offer some support in return!
Thank you for reading 
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Sounds like you have a lot treatment wise to deal with. It’s no wonder you’re feeling so overwhelmed. I don’t have much advice on the chemo as yet (I’m due to have 3 lots of Epirubicin, Cyclophosphamide & 3 lots of Docetaxel). I’m due at the hospital on Friday with the chemo nurses before I start next Thursday. I also don’t like to feel like I’m being a bother to anyone but would say that I’ve been learning to make use of all the help out there/people to talk to, which of course you may already be doing. I’ve had help and advice from the BCN nurses and Maggie’s. Sometimes it helps to talk to people that understand what we’re going through both medically and emotionally. One nice thing I was told about was a charity called Little Lifts. You can apply for a goody bag from them which contains items to help us get through chemo side effects. So definitely check that out.x 
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Thank you … I’ll look into that!
I know a lot is in my head and I’m being silly, I just need to accept thy people want to help and make the most of that.
You also sound like you have a lot to deal with … it’s just so much at the beginning isn’t it? I’m hoping once it gets going and get into a rhythm things will be easier!
I am waiting for Margaret McMillan to get in touch, but going to chase that up with my BCN today as I do feel it will help talking to someone who ‘gets it’ a bit more!!
Good luck with it all 
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Hi all
I have had my chemo start confirmed - 14 june - getting the port thing fitted on 11 June
Im still trying to work too - been in the office for 2 days this week & ive found it pretty tiring trying to be “normal” but also nice to have my mind occupied - although my brain is working slower 
I went to our local Maggies centre this week - i nearly didnt go in as it brought it home whats happening… But i did & i went to the look good, feel good session. It was really lovely to meet other ladies in person (plus the goodie bag was full of free stuff!!) So i would recommend.
Take care xx
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@charlie22 welcome to the summer group!!
Firstly, do NOT feel bad about others … I initially wanted to crawl into a hole (I even looked up airbnbs nearby so I could live somewhere else for 6 months and only see my boys when I was feeling and looking ok!!! Ridiculous behaviour!!!) and just get on with it by myself but I realised that the more I reached out, the better I felt… my hubby and friends have been a lifeline for me and once I told them to ‘shine the light to help me climb out of this black hole’ they have … now is the time to be selfish and really lean on others, you’ll be surprised who is willing to help 
I’ve completed round 1 of EC …. Yay … it was nice at the hospital, lots of blubbering from me but everyone so lovely and positive. Unfortunately I was really 
for 24 hours when I got home but hubby dashed back to the hospital to get a change of meds and I feel much much better!!! Not fully ok but am up and eating breakfast and going to walk the dog and do a couple of hours of work at home … so good so far!
I am going to religiously take the medication they’ve said (take notes, lots of info from the pharmacist, my hubby jotted it all down + my side affects etc…)
We’ve got this ladies … only 7 more to go for me. My bc nurse said to see it as a mountain climb… just each step at a time up to all the different base camps til you reach the top. We’ll ALL get to the top
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And reach out to ‘someone like me’ on this website… I’ve been having monthly calls with 2 lovely ladies who have been through this and are on the other side and living the life! . they’ve been amazing. Have answered my questions and listened to me blubbing over it all. They truly understand so it’s another ‘light in my darkness’ which helps x
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Thanks for the update on your first session. Glad you got through it relatively ok (apart from the ). I think this is what my first 3 will be so really helpful. Been recommended the Someone Like Me helpline but haven’t plucked up the courage yet for that one, but maybe now’s the time.x
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@smt and @kcg0610 GOOD LUCK TODAY… lots of emotions so just go with it. Hopefully you’ll feel okay but if you are feeling yuk then just tell yourself it won’t last forever, that certainly helped me these last 2 days! I had horrible Covid in 2020 and I remember feeling the same but got through that and I WILL get through this. I’ve done a bit of work but am now prepping Netflix for something xx
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Hi
I’m starting ECP chemo on 13th June - 3 x EC three weekly followed by weekly P for 9 weeks. I’m having a PICC line inserted on 11th June. I’m feeling apprehensive but glad to have a plan. I find the waiting between plans the worse and seem to be able to relax when I know what is happening. I’m 57 and was diagnosed with grade 3 , ER+, ductal breast cancer and DCIS in November 2023. I had a lumpectomy in January followed by a re-excision in February as margins had not been achieved and a full axillary node clearance. There were cancer cells present in 3 nodes and margins were still not achieved, so I had a mastectomy in April and confirmation that cancer was stage 2.
The plan is for radiotherapy following chemotherapy and then hormone treatment for 10 years.
I was thinking it would all be over before the start of 2025 but this may be optimistic now. I’m looking forward to booking a lovely holiday for when it is all over.
Any tips for what to expect at the chemo sessions and what to take along with me, would be great.
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I’m going to try the cold cap but not holding out much hope that I will be able to persevere with it as I am not very good with the cold. Any tips would be great.
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@mic671 welcome to our summer group!!! It all sucks doesn’t it !!! I think you’ll be done by 2025. I’m planning a family holiday to Lapland to see in my new and improved life whilst there!!!
I started chemo (4 x ec & possibly 4 x pax) on Tuesday… had my PICC line fitted today. Was ok, except the consultant went on and on about what can go wrong that I wanted to run away and blub (again!!)
So, I drank a LOT of water (2l in the morning + drank through it all) and could see my pee getting less red over the first 24 hours. Maybe drink loads … + have a variety of small food you can snack on after as I thought I’d feel like certain things but didn’t! My onc also said don’t eat your favourite foods around the time of your chemo and he was right as I ate a rice dish at the hospital and don’t think I can eat anything like that again!!!
Wear comfy clothes, expect to cry, let it all out … the team has seen it all before.
Take all the meds they recommend and write it down as I had lots of boxes and instructions which luckily my hubby was on top of.
And really important… call your team if you’re worried about anything. I phoned straight away when I was for too long and they sorted new meds asap. I’m feeling ok today … just a bit tired but looking forward to a family dinner and movie tonight.
We will all be fine - this is awful but we will get through it together xx
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Thank you @donna_51 … sorry to hear you were so unwell but your positive outlook has given me some hope … and shined a light… thank you
I’ve managed to get through this week doing some work but I do feel a little unwell … sore throat and my shoulder and neck muscles feel so tight and tense … I’ve bought myself a heat pack today and some tiger balm so it’s eased a bit! I keep thinking it’s just psychological but I’m going to give it a couple more days then call the GP if it doesn’t get any better. I haven’t even started treatment yet and I already feel crappy 
I hope you enjoyed your family meal and movie and Lapland sounds like a fab idea … something to really look forward to!!
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@mic671 I’m also very undecided … I hate been cold and I really don’t like the thought of adding so much extra time to my treatments! Also my thinking is it worth going through all that without the guarantee of keeping my hair 
it such a big decision and the worse part is no one can make this one for you!! 
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Hello all! Nice to meet you all online. Hope some of you have enjoyed the sunshine today in the UK. I am 41 with 3 daughters(5,7,13). I was diagnosed with triple positive BC in April and started my chemo yesterday. I am on weekly paciltaxel for 12 weeks with phesgo 3 weekly then surgery and then 8 weeks of fortnightly AC. I had a port fitted yesterday morning too.
I was very nervous before but now that it has started I feel so much calmer. I have felt very tired today and have had a metallic taste in my mouth but aside from that I have been ok. I don’t want to jinx it so let’s see!
I think for anyone who hasn’t started yet my only advice would be to maybe not read too much online and just really focus on family and friends as i found I was catastrophising (don’t think I have spelt that right ) and really over thinking everything.
I tried to enjoy and treat myself a bit with packing my chemo bag - nice boiled sweets, new socks etc. happy to send anyone my list of stuff I took with me.
I decided to try the cold cap and was again very nervous - I am mostly trying to save my hair because I am working and it buys me a bit more time before I tell my kids as the youngest is only 5. I decided to splash out on the Daniel field products (happy to share the info and pdf they sent me if anyone would like) as the nurse at my hospital said she had patients who had found they worked. Half an hour before I started the cold cap they gave me two paracetamol and then they added anti histamine to my drip - she said this was to make me drowsy to help with the freezing head! Once they turn the machine on it immediately is freezing and I slightly put myself into a trance and did my birth breathing! I sipped hot tea and had two blankets on me. After 20 mins I settled and was able to watch my iPad and sucked on the boiled sweets most of the time The chin strap started to get painful as I made the cap so tight but I was able to loosen it a bit. Even though it added 2 hours overall extra to my chemo session I didn’t actually mind as the nurses were so nice and caring.
I bought a silk bed hat to sleep in and that was nice last night - oh and I also cut my hair to a longish bob - just above my shoulders to try and help it get less knotty.
Anyway sorry I am rambling a bit but hope this is useful for others. Please ask questions as I’m sure there is stuff I am forgetting from my first day of chemo.
Have a lovely Friday night and looking forward to chatting with everyone more xxx
PS I can’t figure out just to post so I have had to reply to Charlie 22! Sorry if I have posted this in the wrong way!
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Hi @emammi ! Sounds like you’re doing ok so far, good to hear. Fingers crossed for your cold capping.
Don’t worry about how you post, it’s the post that counts!! If we all post anything you feel less alone which really helps
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