My oncologist said there was no exercise or meds to help, my fingers are exactly the same. They have put me on 50mg vitamin B6; but they said it was based on low evidence, they will reassess in 6 weeks but there is no real treatment, they just hope it will get better
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For those of you whoāve been off work for chemo, are you planning to go back soon and, if so, what kind of phased return are you asking for? I feel I ought to go back asap after radiotherapy as my employers have been very generous and patient and I genuinely enjoy my job. However, at the moment I still feel totally shattered from chemo. They say I can do a phased return and to let them know what I want but Iām not sure whatās reasonable. I donāt want to over commit and not cope but I also donāt want to take advantage.
Daily positive: BCN confirmed my place on one of their in-person Moving Forward courses in Jan, which Iāve heard are really good.
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Hi, I have been off ages, and my latest Drs note is to Jan 10th. I will hopefully feel up to going back then, I have 1 week radiotherapy 17 Nov so that seems like a good recovery period. I used to work in HR for my organisation and used to plan phased returns for folks. We typically did them over 8 weeks but I do recall some 12 week plans for folks who had been off the longest with things like cancer.
I asked Chat GPT to plan one for me - I know my HR folks will do it for me but threw it in there to see what it did. It came up with an 8 week plan starting at 15 hours weeks 1&2 with 3 x 5 hour days. Weeks 3&4 were 22-25 hours, weeks 5&6 went up to 30 hours, and 7&8 were at 37 hours or whatever full time hours are but with flexibility over additional breaks in the day as needed.
Iāve been on a real rollercoaster thinking about work. I would love to not go back as itās a high pressure admin role for a very demanding boss - I like him, we get on great as I was a high achiever previously but I really donāt know if I can still be that person now and on hormone drugs - who knows how we will be? Iām too young to retire at 51 and thankfully too well for early ill-health retirement (assuming the nerve damage recovers). I also donāt fancy finding a new job, I canāt deal with that! I figure I just have to go back and cope as well as I can, they have to make reasonable adjustments so I might seek an extra day working from home as that saves me 1 hour 50 mins commuting time. Iām sort of dreading it whilst also thinking about getting some normal life back. None of this is easy is it?
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Hello Iāve lurked for a few days, didnāt feel up to posting.
Iām also on vitamin B for tingly feet and hands @mandymoo2004, strong vitamin B ( thatās what itās called!) and also pyridoxine three times a day. No idea whether itās working, I think Iām becoming more clumsy with my hands so maybe not. Hope itās a) temporary and b) reversible. Iām now two and a half weeks after finishing chemo.
My nails look and feel awful. Black stripes, yellowy, very hard and difficult to trim. Am using polybalm and a lāoccitane nourishment thingy which is probably similar/the same.
In terms of going back to work - Iāve been off since diagnosis in January! I was planning to retire this year or next, so returning is complicated for me. I go down to half pay this month. Iām working on a project and to be honest the workload is extremely light so Iām sure I could go back. I start radiotherapy for three weeks on Wednesday so theoretically I could start back to work when thatās finished. I should be able to work from home pretty much full time which would be good because my commute is a three to four hour round trip. Iām thinking phased return to take me to Christmas.
Iāve just started letrazole, who knows what that is going to do to me. I talked to oncology team about it yesterday because Iād been putting it off, but they persuaded me to try it for three months. Iāve had a menopause and I really donāt want the symptoms again.
At the moment Iām feeling very low, partly because my dad has died but also because I canāt help feeling Iām going to be robbed of a good retirement by the medication Iām going to have to take for years. Proper wallowing at the moment.
Good things: Iām booked on to a Look Good Feel Good make-up workshop on Tuesday. Also I had an MRI scan a couple of weeks ago and it was clear. And the sun is shining here.
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@runnerjen, thank you so much for sharing your phased return knowledge- itās really helpful! A gradual return over 2-3 months with more time wfh sounds good. I hope your manager is understanding-maybe someone in his life has been through this and he knows how tough it is. I had a very stressful job for years (perhaps unfairly I think it contributed to the cancer) and know I couldnāt have gone back to that so feel fortunate that I changed roles before I was diagnosed.
@nelly1, wow that commute would wipe me out before I started work! Wfh sounds like a good plan. Iām so sorry youāre having horrible side effects while dealing with grief and funeral planning etc. You have every right to wallow as youāre going through such a rough time. Thank goodness your scan was clear, though.
Re. Letrozole I know it can have truly miserable side effects but Iāve seen plenty of posts from women whoāve sailed through with no problems. I hope weāre all lucky and that the peripheral neuropathy is temporary for those of you who are experiencing it.
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Hi everyone
Its funny so many of us have sore red eyes. It must be a very common side effect. I had a rash all over my face 4 weeks ago after paclitaxol and especially round my eyes. Went to GP who would only suggest vaseline which didnt help much. Chemo drug was changed to Abraxane
This week rash came back but eyes were really itchy. GP has prescribed antihistimine eye drops and these have helped a lot.
Iām also uncertain about going back to work. I have a high pressure job and have been off work since June ( logging on once or twice a week). Work have been so supportive that I feel I should go back to work soon. Its so hard though isnt it? It fills me with dread!
Hoping to have a long phased return and then maybe drop a day if I can.
I am convinced that stress has had a huge impact on the development of the cancer together with HRT feeding it.
Does anyone else feel stress has caused their tumour?
Hope youāre all having a good day!
We all have a lot to be grateful for 
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Really good to hear everyoneās thoughts on going back to work. Iāve been trying off since September & Iām due to go back in January.
Iām feeling a bit stressed about it more-so as Iāve only told the people at work that need to know & a few close colleagues. Iāve also thought about whether my jobs stress over the years has contributed to all this madness.
Iāve also been thinking about a phased return but havenāt quite decided what I want that to be yet. I read somewhere that you should think about what you think you can manage, e.g 2 days a week, & then half it. @runnerjen that sounds like a good plan!
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Reading your thoughts about stressful jobs and cancer progression - definitely strikes a cord and something Iāve thought a lot about. Lots of thoughts around if it potentially has contributed to the cancer, I need to make changes going forward. Can I effectively change things through making changes within the same role ie adjustments, reduced hours etc? Too young to retire yet but at the same time, I know Iām not the same person as I was pre diagnosis. Read a book earlier this year called Ikigai - how to to live longer! It really emphasises embracing a slower pace of life and avoiding constant rushing. Donāt even know if I can multitask and concentrate to the same degree anymore. The cognitive decline or chemo brain is terrible at the moment - hoping it improves after chemo. Anyway, hope the watery eyes and/or peripheral neuropathy ease soon. Weāve definitely been handed a gift that keeps giving - never ending!
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Hi 
I have been the same as you by the sounds, its not easy no. X
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Afternoon all, Iāve still got the watery eyes, I didnāt get out to the opticians so no treatment for it, just doing warm compress which helps ease it a bit. I do think my fingertips might be starting to improve. Itās barely noticeable but I think they are a fraction less painful doing things. No sign of my hair starting to grow yet though.
Weirdly, now I have had a few days since receiving my new fit note, and the thought of returning to work in Jan has had time to settle, I am starting to feel more positive about it.
So Iāve decided in the coming week I will put together a draft return to work plan. I know I can postpone it if I am not well enough by then. But I think that by coming up with my own proposal - with an outline of which tasks I might take back first, and which to leave until later as my hours increase - will give me a sense of control over the process. I also think itās always easier to edit an existing plan than to start from scratch - so by designing my own, HR and my line manager donāt have to write it themselves - and they are therefore more likely to accept mine, possibly with just a few tweaks.
Good thing today, apart from my bizarrely positive attitude towards my job*, itās my mums birthday today so sheās coming round for dinner, my husband is cooking cottage pie and thereās a Tesco lemon meringue pie for pudding and strawberries.
*(Just wait, by March Iāll be on here morning about work!)
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@runnerjen I think the return to work plan is a great idea. My job is a 5 day a week in office job yet here I am nearly 6 months working from home. I have found my employer to be great and happy to support whatever I say I am capable of doing. Yes, he wants me back in the office but also is accommodating me as much as humanly possible. My boss has never had to manage someone in my position so has no preconceived ideas. Heās letting me call the shots. You may find your boss is the same.
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That sounds really good, you have managed your work situation really well there. I hope my senior leader / big boss will be the same. I know he will be keen to have me back and once I have sat him down and explained a bit about how the treatment has affected me and is likely to impact me going forward he should understand more and I know he will want to help. Heās a really good guy, he just has very high standards and expectations - that just needs managing by me and we should be fine. My day-to-day supervisor is great too, and I know she will just be thrilled when I am back in any capacity, no worries with her! Iām almost looking forward to it now, but I have about 10 weeks and some radiotherapy to do before then, so plenty of time to get nervous about it again! 
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Hi ladies, just checking in with a side effects update in case it helps anyone.
Mouth - taste is far from perfect but itās much better than it was. I feel like itās gradually improving and I am mostly enjoying food again.
Feet - couldnāt wear closed in shoes for about 3 weeks after the last chemo infusion. A toe on each foot was extremely painful to touch and I had sore red patches all over. That has all cleared up.
Fatigue - still quite bad but manageable. Iām sleeping about 10 hours a night and my thighs ache really badly when I walk upstairs or do much at all.
Letrazol - Iām on my 5th day and havenāt noticed any side effects at all yet.
Padel - I tried to play on Saturday and lasted 10 mins before straining my ankle badly. My body moved but my feet didnāt. It was too soon and Iām not fit enough. Off to Osteo later and fingers crossed this heals quickly.
Mental health - mostly good. And the day I would have been going for chemo was the best day. The cycle is broken and itās such a relief.
Grateful for a sunny day, a new dryer arriving this morning, and getting my flu/covid jab this afternoon. Xx
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Hello @warmfuzzies thanks for this update, itās really useful to hear how people are getting on with the side effects after their chemo has finished. Glad you are on the up (except for your ankle 
). Interesting that you mention how tired your thighs are as I have noticed my thighs feel particularly weak and tired so itās reassuring thatās itās not just me. Iāve also noticed my left arm feels tired like it did just after surgery. Fatigue is such a weird thing because I donāt feel tired in myself but my body is exhausted!
Had my final pre chemo bloods taken this morning. I know theyāll be plenty more blood tests to come but not pre chemo ones!
Iāve found now the weather is cooler Iām wearing my wig more than my headscarves. This s the wig that I couldnāt stand in the summer because it was too hot. Now itās quite cosy 
Yesterday I tried out some eyebrow transfers. Theyāre like temporary tattoos. They look a bit severe until I put the wig on and the fringe breaks them up a bit but I quite like them. All these things I didnāt know existed until I was thrown into the BC world!
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Oh this is interesting to read, Iām sorry about your ankle though. I like that you felt that the cycle is broken on the day that would have been chemo day. For me that will be on Friday this week and I noticed it on the calendar earlier and smiled to myself. I had planned to visit work that day but have put it off because I have not had my Covid and flu jabs yet and I work with a lot of people who fly a lot and tend to be full of flu most of the time! Makes sense to hold off a while. My eyes are still streaming but I have been able to write this morning so I think my fingers might be starting to improve.
The fatigue is similar with me. I donāt really feel sleepy tired, I just find my legs and arms feel weak - I had to squat down to put some plates in the back of a cupboard and never thought I would get up again! Usually my legs feel strong, so itās a weird kind of muscle fatigue. I hope that buggers off soon! Iām desperate to get out walking and returning to running soon!
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I think I was imagining the improvement in my fingers. Just sat reading a magazine and I can hardly turn the pages. 
I think I have a bit more energy than last week though! Thatās something!
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Hello lovely ladies,
Its been intresting reading about the return to work (and all your other updates and news) i return next week, i dont feel āreadyā but here we go, my phase has been loosley written out the first couple of weeks set to see how we go. I have yet to start the next lot of medications and injections,then there will be bone infusions so have asked for revisions and flexibility as enter the unknown.
Fatigue accumulation has been at its worse just over 2 weeks post radiotherpyā¦could not function or sleep due to it last night and this morning.
Leg neuropathy has been helped a little by pregablin and the physio i see is amazing getting good support for both leg and hip issues. No bone spurs on xray i found out today however b22 deficient on top of vit d. Will be having injections for that.
Also today i had two finger nails drop off half way downā¦they had grown lifted from bed during chemo.
My mood and mental state has been very low and foggy- dont know what i would do without you guys here. Going to a group session tommorrow about recovery jjourney.
Anyone else feel the days fly by in a blurry memory whilst feeling no time has passed.
Gave to stop there the cats have decided to sit on me and push phone 
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I fee
This 100%! In some ways June feels like 5 minutes ago but in other ways, when you think how much weāve been through, it feels such a long time.
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I agree! I feel both that the year has flown by and yet that at times itās seemed never ending. I remember longing for October as that would be my last chemo, but itās really been quite shitty obviously as side effects donāt just stop.
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