Morning lovelies. Good luck to the girls at the bar today and well done on all those marathon posts since I last popped by! I’m impressed and totally unable to do the same!
I have to confess that since yesterday, I’ve been feeling really ‘proper poorly’ for the first time. Yesterday was horrible, I couldn’t find anywhere or anyhow to get comfortable and it really got me down. I can only describe it as hangover from hell (without the scary flashbacks! lol) meets worst flu ever… throw in fuzzy mouth, weird itching skin and an overwhelming feeling of sadness and you’ve just about got how it feels! So, I’m going to sit very quietly today, continue to drink loads of water (although it tastes disgusting!) and hope for an improvement.
Forgive the self-pity!
XXXX
Cress - if you feel flu like maybe you should call the chemo unit as its a big warning sign for infection. My temp was normal when I went in but Onc said you shouldn’t wait or suffer. Know hospital is prob the last place you fancy being but it’s best to be safe x
x Hugs x
- LinsLleisio - Lins 2/7 (cycle 2)
- BeckyJoan - Becky 2/7 (cycle 2)
- jayney234 - 2/7 (cycle 2)
- ChelleB15 - Chelle 3/7 (cycle 2)
- Marionblue - 4/7 (cycle 3)
- Spurs79 - Claire 4/7 (cycle 2)
- TaylorJ - 4/7 (cycle 2)
- ethel1 - Elizabeth 8/7 (cycle 2)
- Esther_1986 - Est 8/7 (cycle 2)
- Meggy-moo - Agnes 10/7 (cycle 2)
- MarthasSOS - Martha 10/7 (cycle 3)
- pat_1949 - Pat 11/7 (cycle 2)
- Melrose15 - Emma 11/7 (cycle 2)
- Deedee215 - Deedee 11/7 (cycle 2)
- Flip Flop - Faye 11/7 (cycle 2)
- March13 - Ann 11/7 (cycle 3)
- LaineyK - Lainey 12/7 (cycle 2)
- Linsey 50 - 12/7 (cycle 2)
- Trish1303 - Trish 12/6 (cycle 2)
- ambercatz - Jan - 12/7 (cycle 2)
- PeachyPal - Emma 13/7 (cycle 2)
- jmeg - Jill 15/7 (cycle 2)
- Cassie1 - Jayne 15/7 (cycle 3)
- NicJ - NicJ 15/7 (cycle 3)
- Maxie - Sandra 16/7 (cycle 2)
- pointy - Debs 16/7 (cycle 2)
- flippantfox - 16/7 (cycle 3)
- Artemis17 - Vicki 17/7 (cycle 2)
- Suffolklady - Cress 17/7 (cycle 2)
- Gussie-WW - Gus 17/7 (cycle 2)
- cazzer1970 - 17/7 (cycle 2)
- Fimbo 123 - Joan 17/7 (cycle 3)
- titus4t - 17/7 (cycle 3)
- Jackiebee - Jackie 18/7 cycle 2)
- Satsuma - Fi 18/7 (cycle 2)
- Glasgow Girl - Fiona 18/7 (cycle 3)
- Janet C - Janet 19/7 (cycle 2)
- Katherine10 - Katherine 19/7 (cycle 2)
Jill. Yay! My wish came true and the sleep fairies paid you a visit 
Jan please take it easy work wise. Days 10-13 are your low days and you’re more at risk. Don’t want another Jewel MIA we’ll be sending super sleuth Taylor after you. Sorry if that sounds naggy!!
John thanks for the update on DeeDee. Please send her my love and hope she bounces back soon. I have missed her xx
Becky loving the attire. Knew you were off getting dressed up for your day out, as Vicki says help yourself to the barman’s nuts!
Cress. I’m sending Chelle round to wrap you in cotton wool! I really sympathise with you. Big big hugs xxx
Well off to take my Dad to the cancer centre again. Might have another session of reiki, not sure what it’s about but good excuse for a mid morning nap
Good luck Lins Jayney & Becky for todays bar crawl!..
Wanted to post last night but had tech probs & have now forgotten all the posts I wanted to reply to!!..suffice to say as always have really enjoyed reading all your posts but 'chemo brain ’ now kicked in!
Couple of things made me chuckle namely ‘toe moustaches’ …was that you Jackie?.. & Martha saying she must be a mutant!!!:-)Also love your new profile pic Chelle that colour really suits you!!!..
Great post Becky, youre one busy lady!!..hope the Emend makes things better for you this time round re nausea…xx
John what a brave man!!.. thanks for letting us know we have a troop ‘down’…hope Deedee’s a lot better soon…xx
was telling my OH & he said maybe I should show him how to get on here if ever he has to do the same…think if he read some of our posts he wouldnt know what the hell we were talking about but may be a bit ‘concerned’…thinking knicker nets etc!!!
Well sleep fairies didnt visit me again last night, have tried everything, getting fresh air, bath, cocoa…even guinness!!!..spent most of the night spinning round like a rotisserie chicken, tangling myself up in knots & then a good part of the night plotting how I could ‘smother’ my snoring OH & get away with it!!!.. normally would have kicked him out into spare room but have just freshly made the bed & got it looking nice for SIL’s arrival tomorrow!!
In saying all this if thats my only major s/e so far I really shouldnt complain!!..sorry to whinge
Another weird thing last night in shower was quite alarmed that my ‘bad’ boob has completely altered in shape…has anyone else had this??.. it seems to have sunk in on itself, whereas before it looked reasonably plump its massively deflated very suddenly. Ive had WLE & had hard scar tissue under scar & this has weirdly disappeared…was thinking all sorts of stuff mainly that maybe wasnt scar tissue after all but more ‘lump’…I guess its natural to worry but wondered if any if you’ve had similar??
Well lazed in bed for too long now & the dreaded Jeremy Kyles just come on so time ti get uo!!
xx
Morning everyone
FEC cycle 2, day 6
Hope everyone ok, didn’t post yesterday, not feeling great. Although the Emend has helped with the nausea, not as severe, still feel sicky all the time, horrible taste in mouth and the lack of sleep really took its toll yesterday - just felt reeally washed out. A bit more sleep last night, thank goodness, so hope for better day today. Does not help with OH snoring - ditto Maxie, Ann and others who have the same problem, he’s got to go! We don’t have a spare room, but there is a sofa bed downstairs, so someone (not me) is heading there soon. Hats off to those of you who are working, I just couldn’t do it.
Lins, Becky and Janey - sorry if I’ve missed you before you leave for your visits to the bar today. Hope all goes well.
Trish and Marion - thanks for the recipes, will order the ingredients with my online shop this week and get cooking ( or my son will, he’s good at curries). Although mouth feels horrid, tatse buds not too bad, only gone off a few things that I’ve discovered so far.
Chelle - glad you got the phone sorted and well done playing the pity card. You are a top negotiator, as well as being our organiser and administration chief.
Faye and Titus - getting used to no hair, thanks. Better than shedding all over the place. Daughter says it makes me look really young - weird!! Not been out in wiggy yet - rough day yesterday. Just scarf or nothing round the house. Agree with those who said the scarves are lovely but difficult to co-ordinate with clothes.
Jan - so sorry you had bad day yesterday, kindred spirits. I managed a bit more sleep last night, so hope I might fare better today. Big hugs from me to you for a better day today.
Jackie - so sorry about your 15th anniversary non-trip. Similar for us, our 30th!!! in Aug (chemo still ongoing) and my 50th birthday in Oct ( chemo finishing, then radiotherapy). It’s all on hold until next year. 2013 will be erased from my memory - DX in Jan, then surgeries and treatments for most of the year. Only positive thing is meeting all of you and having this great network of support.
Martha - great to hear from you. Get that cotton wool and bubble wrap on, NO disappearing again plese.
Emma (peachy) - good for your Mum, training for the 23-mile walk. She’s a star.
John - thanks for letting us know about Deedee. Big hugs to her, hope she’ll be home soon. You’re a brave man, venturing on here!!
Becky - what great long post, all that news, another of our superMums. Your weekend sounded fab.
Cress - what a downer for you, feeling so awful yesterday. Hang on in there, hope today will be better. If you feel flu-like, you ought to phone the chemo unit, just in case. Take care, hugs.
Have a good day everyone,
Fiona
xx
Good morning everyone,
How busy you’ve all been over the last few days! I have been keeping an eye on you all, but didn’t have much to post really. Now, can I remember everyone I wanted to mention?.. probably not.
Cress - poor you. Sounds like an excuse not to do anything and watch any TV/DVDs you meant to catch up on. You are our Docetaxel pioneer - I have to confess that although I feel I can cope with AC, I am dreading T. Hope you start to feel better soon xxx
Maxie - sorry you can’t sleep, seems like a lot of us are in the same position. I sleep very fitfully, except for the first day or two in the cycle where i sleep really well, despite the steroids. Weird dreams at the moment, and why does it have to be so light at 5am?? I can’t help you with the shape of your boob as I’m pre-surgery, but sounds like one you should check with your bcn.
Debs - I love your profile pic. It’s how I’m trying to live at the moment (some days with more success than others!) How are you doing with it?
Lins, Becky and Jayney - all the very best for today. You are old hands now, this time will be easier. Jayney, I’m pre-op too and had an appointment with my onc before cycle 2. Bcn was there as well. It was a run through the SEs I’d had, an exam, scheduling an MRI scan to check my lump (booked for after cycle 3) and an opportunity for me to ask any questions. There was “no more bad news” (in my oh-so sympathetic onc’s own words). I hope it goes ok, sending you hugs xx
Becky - sounds like you had a fantastic weekend! I wish I had the guts to do that, I just seem to sit around these days! Maybe at the end of this cycle I’ll go water skiing 
.
Jan - sorry you were feeling low yesterday, are you feeling any better today? But GREAT NEWS that your lump is shrinking!! That’s what this is all for, hold on to that thought and imagine that if the chemo is shrinking your lump it’s also blitzing any other rogue cells.
Martha - welcome back. Don’t let this become a habit, now!
John - thanks so much for posting. Send Deedee back all our love and we hope she’s out of hospital and back with us soon x
Vicki - big virtual hugs for your u/s today, I’ll be thinking of you xx
Well, I had a pretty quiet weekend, some old friends came to visit on Saturday and spent Sunday afternoon at my MIL’s for her birthday. Felt a bit more grotty this time than last cycle, just general queasiness, tiredness and nothing tasting good. It seemed to have gone by yesterday and I went in to work - first time in my wig so I felt a bit nervous. Not many people in work know I have BC as it’s a large school and no point in telling anyone other than the other office staff. My colleague who does know didn’t realise it was a wig, just thought I’d had a fantastic haircut, so that gave me a boost. A couple of other people said they loved my hair and I just said thanks and felt a fraud!
At the moment I’m obsessing about whether or not my lump is shrinking. I know it’s getting softer and the onc said so too but I’m not sure if the size is reducing or not. I can feel weird sensations in it from time to time, sort of like a tingling. I suppose that must be good. I have even taken to giving the chemo drugs in me a good talking to to direct them to the lump! Btw, I am officially a headcase now as I got my referral to the “cancer psychological support services” through - I’m seeing the psych on Friday. I hope talking about all the things I’ve been scared of doesn’t make me feel worse! I have been trying sooo hard to stay positive over the last couple of weeks and I don’t want to go backwards.
Right, off to try and clean up the house a bit before my dad arrives to visit for a couple of days. Have a sparkly day everyone xx
Maxie just a quick one i am 4 wks post op (i think) and mines exactly the same sort of gone suddenly mishaped,Ive always been jeans trainers and baggy tops person (to cover the fact small boobs lol) now can only wear vest tops just cant tolerate fabric on my upper arm but now look odd shaped dont know if its the fluid/swelling going down but got a hard lump round the op site and seems dented.
Hello Jewels
Well the working from home is going wonderfully, major tech problems this morning so abandoned it for a while had coffee with friend, and am now on here!!! I am sooo going to get the sack soon…
Sandra , I am about 6 weeks post op for the lump and mine did exactly the same after about four weeks, i think the inside tissue swelling must go down and I suppose it stands to reson that there will be a dent as some has been taken out? also my consultant did tell me that it would change again after rads…terrific! On the plus side, i have never gone topless and am not about to start at my age frankly so it wont bother anyone but me, OH and the consultant!
I cannot sleep either, trying not to take Zopiclone but then I just lie awake ALL night stressing about hair falling out etc etc 
Earplugs have long been my solution for OH snoring!
Joan Trying very hard to live by my profile pic but as you say, some days it is easier than others!!
Hair was cut to short style some weeks ago in preparation and am now thinking I may go at the weekend and get it cut mega short in prep for the big shed! Why am I letting my hair stress me out so much??? I could cope with everything else if someone took that bit away! I am such a wally!
Well done to John for dipping into this crazy place. Good luck to everyone sampling the nuts at the bar today, get strong again soon to all those flagging and miserable (although it is allowed)and sorry not to have touched on all posts. I start with good intentions then lose the thread and the names and everything else frankly…So, please keep posting and know that you are read and enjoyed by me and many others and this forum is such a massive crutch for support and helping to feel that we are not alone!
Off to LGFB this afternoon so defo going to be sacked…oops
Have a good one
Debs xx
PS. Also have the most upset stomach, ongoing, usually hits about 9pm. Am working on the theory that if everything that goes in comes straight back out, I wont put any weight on…every cloud…x
Afternoon twinklies,
Had a busy morning - order from annabandana turned up (all fairly neutral colours with no patterns so they go with clothing) as I can’t be bothered wearing my wig in the house.
Then rang The Haven centre in Leeds and booked a full day intro course which sounds really interesting and runs a few different sessions and provides lunch and tells you all about the complimentary therapy sessions you can book and I also booked another session for trying on wigs and you can also get your own wigs trimmed free of charge. I’ve also rang the Macmillan Centre in Leeds and they are sending me an info pack with all the sessions they run and you can have 6 free of charge. I feel brighter just having some dates in the diary other than hospital visits!
Right time for some lunch before the hospital… Catch you later lovely ladies x
Good Morning all you lovely ladies.
Thanks to everyone who sent their love and hugs yesterday through the ether-they obviously got here as I’m feeling so much better today, 9 hours sleep (even with a wee-stop, just went straight back to sleep) and bone ache nearly gone and no headache-Yay!
I am going to ask mu onc if I can go without the jab next time but doubt he’ll agree but while researching if people had gone without it (some had and just had to be extra vigilant) I found that a lot of people were having good results with taking Claritin for it-take first one before jab. Will look into this more now brain feels more awake but wondered if anyone else had come across this.
Lins, Janey and Becky-sending positive thoughts to you all.
John-please send love to Deedee and hope she’s better very soon.
Glasgow Girl and Suffolk lady-Hope like me your ‘down day’ is for only one day and that tomorrow will be better-sending hugs x
Joan-I had tingling in my lump too which then turned to sharp stabbing pains-as I can hardly find it now I’m taking that as a good sign. I also talked to my lump and told it that it was time to go as well as imaging it shrinking. A friend used to imagine hers being zapped like in space invaders and did really well with that thought. Perhaps we’re both mad but if it helps go with it I say.
Maxie, Jill and others who can’t sleep-I really found that doing relaxation helped to turn my brain off. I just do the one where you tense each part of the body in turn (starting at the feet) then let it relax and imaging I’m just sinking into the bed on each out breath. Every time I find a thought creeping in I just accept it came and send it packing. It’s hard to not think without thinking about not thinking but even if you get some ‘still’ time it will help. Some people imagine their bodies filling with warm air which is nice and others think about being filled with light (can’t do that one myself) but after a few goes you find what works for you and it’s helped me numerous times when my brain won’t shut up.
I too have a snoring OH-he has even been known to wake up the kids in the room above in the past. I have banished him to the sofa and we are both getting better rest as I’m not kicking him all night now with murderous thoughts in my head. It’s a big sofa so I’m not being that mean but he actually is enjoying his own bit of space as he’s a bit of a TV addict and loves to watch rubbish TV that drives me nuts so he now has the TV to himself when I’ve gone to bed plus easy access to the kitchen for midnight snacks!. The Deerhound was a bit put out as he used to sneak on there and is now having to make do with the smaller sofa which is quite an amusing sight as his long legs often end up in the air.
Anyway, I’m waffling on again, I’m awful once I start tying, my fingers go on autopilot.
Sending love to all
Jan x
Thanks girls re thoughts on ‘deflataboob’…it was always mishapen after the 2 x WLE’s & dented but this is a massive change in its appearance very suddenly…very odd…will bring it up at pre-chemo chat with Onc. …No plans going topless anytime soon either!!
Joan your def not a headcase!!.. we all need all the support we can get & I hope your appt helps with your worries…xx
Deb the not sleeping is awful isnt it?..everything seems a much bigger problem in the wee small hours & I too have been stressing about hair & when to go for final chop etc etc…have realised that they gave me a stash of lorazepam (little blue pill) at last visit so am going to pop one (or two) tonight…cant believe I forgot they were there, but theres so many meds in my box now its hard to keep track!!..xx
Chelle it def cheers you up when youve got things in your diary…need to book in on the LGFB workshop now you’ve inspired me!..xx
Off to get NHS wig this aft…not even tried it on yet as it wasnt in stock, apparently its a v popular one & had sold out…can just imagine lots of us BC ladies in my area all swanning round with the exact same hairstyle!!..
Catch you later Sparklies xxx
Posts crossed Jan, so pleased you’re feeling better today!..sofa sounds good idea…better than murder!!!..;-)…xx
Can we claim a tax allowance on this BC lark LOL on top of buying potions and lotions just had to book dog in at groomers normally do him my self but because of arm problem cant pin him down(liitle s**t) costing more to get doggy cut than i d normally spend om myself all these hidden expenses are adding up LOL
I remember trying to clip my old Lurcher once and got distracted and didn’t notice the end had come off and happily shaved him a bald patch up his back. He was quite hairy and I had no choice but to shave all his body which left him with a hairy tail and front-he looked like a lion. The funny thing was he knew he looked stupid as everyone kept laughing at him and he didn’t want to go out for a while-vain mutt lol
Hi Jewels Thanks for all the good wishes. Saw my Onc today and it was just to look at the lump and measure it etc and ask about s.e’s. She was very pleased and said that although it was early days it had shrunk. I was feeling very positive when I left but then had to wait for the bar to open for about 2 hours!! Trouble with that is your mind goes into overdrive and I started analysing everything she said and did - like feeling my glands in my neck and checking the other boob. My husband is getting exasperated but I can’t help it. She did give me more tabs for nausea but that was it really. Finally home and feel headachey and tired but I know wha to expect now.
Joan - I am seeing a counsellor at FORCE which is the charity attached to Exeter Hosp. The lady I see is very good but I do sometimes think that talking about your innermost fears doesn’t always help if you don’t get reassurance whch of course nobody can do really. Worth a go but don’t persevere with it if it makes things worse for you. I know exactly where you are coming from and totally understand all the whatifs as they go around my head constantly. Jayneyxx
Hi JJs
Firstly, I’ve just read back my recipe post and realised I didn’t say to add the chilli flakes in with the tossed chicken, lemon juice etc at the start of the method. Doooooooop, Chemo Brain!! I’m sure any of you who may have had a go realised this and added it somewhere. I made the curry last night and it suddenly came to me that I may have missed something and was right! Marion your recipes look yummy too and will defo be having a go as my taste buds seem to have improved slightly.
I do have another excuse and apologise as I am unable to read all posts at the moment as I’m having trouble seeing and focussing. In short I have an unrelated eye condition (Uveitis) which I have had for years and have been using anti TNF drugs (immune suppressants) to manage the condition. I have now had to stop these, Onc and Ophthalmologist said chemo would have the same effect, but I knew as a result I would immediately flare, once off Methotrexate etc.
I started flaring about a week ago, which includes pain in the eye, redness, floaters and general blurring of vision. It got so bad on Sunday and last night that I have been on heavy duty painkillers and following a call to chemo nurse and eye doc, am back on a course of oral steroid tabs, which I hate, as they make me ravenously hungry and bloated in the face. I also have to use steroid eye drops but have to be careful as these give me glaucoma and cataract, I had surgery last year in my right (good eye), I lost the sight in my left eye 8 years ago to this condition and have always managed reasonably well, until times like now, when I have to dilate my eye which basically means I can’t see for a few days until everything has settled down. A very scary experience. I‘m typing this post in Word in a large and bold font so I can see what I’m doing! I can’t read or use my Iphone so lost really. Fortunately I’m used to it but still get terribly frustrated trying to manage. Other than that my SEs at the moment don’t seem too bad and the cystitis seems to have calmed down thanks to Oasis sachets, cranberry juice and lemon barley.
So I will try and catch up over the next few days. Wishing you all well this week. Girls at the bar, hope all goes ok or as well as it can and all keep strong.
Love and hugs
Blind, Chemo Brain Trish xxxx
p.s. Sorry for the rant.
p.p.s. This whole bloody experience is really testing my tolerance and patience levels, in short supply at the moment. Thank God for laughter and you guys, I would normally turn to nice glass of chilled sav blanc, can’t even enjoy that at the moment. Lush! 
Trish bless you!!! hang on in there girl!
I did my LGFB course this afternoon and it is worth going for the fact that you get a free bag of top branded make up and creams such as NARS, Estee, Clarins, Balance Me etc about £130 worth!!! However all I could do was try not to cry at all the lovely brave bald headed ladies…
Tolerance, patience, emotions, the whole BLOODY lot are at breaking point!!! and likewise even the Shiraz and G&T don’t cut it at the moment!!!
Debs xxxx
Afternoon all,
Been out for a coffee with my friend this morning. Put my wig on, and then promptly took if off as decided it looked wiggy. Ended up going in a scarf but wanted to go somewhere fairly quiet with it being the first outing commando under my scarf. Have ordered some more plain ones from Annabandanna.
Emma - good on your mum and daughter for doing race for life and the trek.
Baldy miller - long may the good day continue
John - give Deedee a big hug
Beckyjoan - glad you had a good weekend. Don’t know where you get all your energy from. Where???
Cress - big slutty hug sent your way. Are you feeling better???
Maxie - as others have said think dent-a-boob is quite normal. Think I read it in breast cancer booklet.
Lins, Becky and Jayney - hope all has gone well at the bar today.
Vicki - how did ultrasound go. Fingers crossed.
Joan - keep up the positive attitude. It will be shrinking.
Chelle- if don’t get chance to post later. Hope re-stocking the bar tomorrow doesn’t take too long. Just think how much quicker it will be without the cold cap now.
All those with sleep problems, I know where you are coming from. Think I am going to try and stay up late tonight and set my alarm for the morning in the attempt that I sleep because I need to, rather than because I’m going to bed.
Hope all other Jewels are doing ok.
Faye
Hi eveyone
Just a quickie before thinking about dinner. Thankfully rallying a bit this afternoon after rough day yesterday and a very long struggle to get up by lunchtime today. Daughter got me some Manuka honey and just tried a teaspoon in some hot water, but nearly £8 for a little jar!!
Joan - good response to your wig at work, good idea just to say thanks to compliments, no need to explain to anyone. Enjoy time with your Dad and hope the referral will be helpful. I think you’re doing brilliantly, big hug from me.
Debs - earplugs is a plan for the snoring OH.
Chelle - great plan to fill up the diary with nice things to do, will get onto that myself, might gee me up a bit.
Jan - so pleased you feeling better today, we both on a downer yesterday. I’ll try your relaxation tips tonight, I remember doing the tensing exercises when I was pregnant, with some success. Plus the earplugs/ no OH might help too.
Maxie - let me know how the lorazepam goes. Not been prescribed anything to help sleep, but might ask for next time. Good luck with the wig fitting.
JMeg - agree expenses are huge. £8 for jar of honey, plus scarves, lingerie etc etc
Jayney - glad you have had positive onc visit. Chin up and big hugs.
Trish - will amend the recipe, thanks. So sorry about your eye problems - that’s so bl***y unfair on top of everything else, hope things will improve for you soon. Ditto re not being able to reach for the vino to take the strain - not touched a drop for weeks.
Catch up later JJs,
Fiona
xx